LOOK AT ME: I’M GONNA MAKE IT ALL BACK

Every single morning, Jim Cramer goes on the television to besmirch the IPO market. He toils and laments, then toils again, about valuation and how he wished none of these companies even existed. Since when did this man of circumstance care about the IPO market and their subsequent valuations? I smell fish. This man has been talking down stocks, and the market, for more than 3 weeks now, always brooding about one thing or another. He also likes to reflect on the unfortunate circumstances of “real companies”, like FEYE and WDAY, falling victim to sell offs due to these bastard IPOs. Really?

WDAY was overvalued the day it came public. The only reason why people buy it is for growth, the same reason why these IPOs are coming public today. They aren’t anymore overvalued than WDAY or YELP was when they IPOd.

Cramer has an agenda.

Moving on, I hereby declare that I am going to make all of the money that I lost back, and more. For the year, it appears I am down about 5%, a hard 15% sell off from the top.

Early on, futures are higher and the market look promising. Let’s see how long the gains will stick, before the margin clerks bleed out my stocks for another 4-5%.

Did you know steel and iron stocks have been doing well, during this 30 point “dip” in FEYE? As I am tormented, daily, in SPLK and FEYE, seemingly fantastic companies, the very worst companies in the world, STLD, MTL,  AKS and MT are hitting new highs. My pick for 2014, CRS, is at a new high.

Telecom stocks, T, USM, VIV are doing great.

Oil and gas stocks, PFFFFF, fughetiboutit.

CWEI, WTI, HK, NBR, PBR, SGY, just to name a few, are much higher.

It’s ridiculous, frankly, seeing these stocks rip to the upside.

FOR CHRIST’S SAKE X is UP 13% OVER THE PAST WEEK.

Banks too.

Here is the lesson, sadly enough, once again.

I wasn’t paying attention to the signals, the rotation in front of my face. It was right there, right here, yet I allowed my emotions to take the place of reality. I embraced a false reality, based upon sentiments, instead of coldly  moving into sectors that were enjoying the upswing of rotation. This is an ongoing event, a swift move away from high multiple growth stocks into stodgy industrials–boring companies with earnings.

In the end, high growth wins every single time. But there will be losers (ZNGA) along the way.

Since most of us are traders, it’s important to remind ourselves during periods of duress to trade.

I averaged down in FEYE, SPLK, WDAY, FLXN and EGRX today, while adding to my position in IFON. I did it late in the day and nothing too big. I just wanted to make sure I got some prints in at these levels, preparing myself to buy even more lower.

I can envision myself (extra Mrs. Fly) buying FEYE in the low $20’s, a poor man, very haphazard and entirely corrupted by insanity. I’d cash my paycheck at the grocery store, after a hard week’s work of stocking shelves, and I’d buy 1 or 2 shares of FEYE. After FEYE drops another $10, I’d buy more, with the same pleasantness and ambitious attitude that I am displaying here today. Why, I might even up my share purchase programme to 3, maybe even 4, shares, with the mindset of duty, honour and the American way.

Closing out the day, I lost some money today, maybe around 1% or so. Following yesterday’s 7.5% debacle, I consider myself to be lucky, almost fortunate.

I’ll get into what’s working now later on tonight. But I will tell you what’s not working and that’s FEYE and SPLK. These are the poster child’s for the worst publicly traded stocks in the world and I own them. Both of them continue to careen lower. Any ape worth his salt would sell them, as it is obvious that they’ve topped and have begun the hard sledding of multiple compression.

Where will they stop?

No one knows.

This is a suckers rally. We’re not really rallying, actually. Just 55% of stocks are higher today, masked by the pleasant aesthetics of a Dow +100. It’s all nonsense and the margin clerks are just getting started.

I don’t want to invest my cash reserves; therefore, it might be a good time to do it.

DEVELOPING…

Let’s profile the typical degenerate, small money, piker.

He bought FEYE and SPLK 20% higher, fully concentrated, leveraged at 50%. With yesterday’s drop, he is now below maintenance and will be forced to either come up with funds or liquidate. In the off chance the market really soars today, he might be able to stave off liquidation by pleading with his margin clerks, citing “market appreciation.” In most cases, Fed calls need to be met by 2:30-3:00 max.

This recent correction has been focused exclusively in the momo names. Old economy stocks have done well, or at least weathered the storm. The last time momo names took a beating like this was after the FB ipo. The centerpiece of that debacle was FB dropping by 50%, GRPN and ZNGA by 70% and YELP pressuring me by dropping from $30 to as low as $12, intra-day. The bottom line: just when you thought the correction was over, BAM, another limb got ripped off.

If we are to follow that same “pin-action”, there could be another 30% lower for many of these cloud/biotech names. I suspect the overall market will continue to do okay, simply moving away from those sectors as if they never existed.

Or, I could be wrong and we go straight up from here.

Either way, the margin clerks are coming today. You margin call players out there are gonna need a miracle to avoid liquidation.

How about we don’t lose any money tomorrow? I bet you expected to come here, after seeing the drubbing I received today, and bear witness to a humble Fly, someone without penis, scared of the shadows and the rain. I will have you know, I was born in the rain, molded by it. You merely adopted the rain. I’ve gained over 17 pounds of pure muscle in recent months and intend to use this new found strength to punch holes into the faces of anyone who dares to get in my way.

What art thou speaketh of, you asketh?

My God given right to money, a ridiculously extravagant lifestyle, and above all: WINSHIP.

There isn’t anything here that I haven’t seen before. A few years back, when I was on vacation in Turks and Caicos, the market defecated all over itself, taking a wrecking ball of 30% to my head, face, and then back to my head again. What did I do? I simply made it all back.

NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR TEPID COWARDICE, mice of men without Johnsons, unable to dodge bullets and return them with the speed of that guy with the sunglasses from Matrix.

This is what I am going to do.

With the money raised today, I am going to delve into debauchery, of the purest form. I will not dilute it with half measured acts. I intend to go all in, AND MORE.

These are the stocks that I am looking to buy, aside from the obvious FEYE, SPLK, IFON,  EGRX, WDAY and ANGI:

It doesn’t get crazier than that.

The second I see an oversold signal inside of the lauded and much appreciate PPT, I am committing myself to a “do or die” approach to the market. I won’t be doing it because I need to, per se. I will do it because it’s the right thing to do, for justice, for capitalism, for the American way.

God bless the United Steaks of America and her 11 aircraft carriers, readying to reduce Putin’s house into a garbage can.

Jesus Christ, how much am I expected to lose before I “go mobile” and start tossing people down idle sewer pipes again? SPLK dropped like 8 on Friday and people thought it wasn’t enough, so they dropped it another 8 today!

God damn you.

Do we even need to discuss FEYE at this point? These stocks are dropping, dramatically (extra homo), ramming in the faces of guys like me, who are just in it for a little fun. I sold out of SALE for a nice, hearty, loss–because I couldn’t take it any longer.

One of my smaller positions, FLXN, granted me a great respite, dropping just 40 cents, after being down $2 intra day. EGRX dropped like a stone, as well as CLIR.

I had some offers out this morning to sell some IFON, at around $4.25. I figured I’d get done on a little, then I’d sashay to my office to pick up some more of that hot, fucking, anvil called FEYE, into the knifing part of the day.

Boy was I wrong. IFON dropped like the business prospects for the catering firm hired to host the g-8 meeting this June.

There is nothing more for me to relay to you, other than pain and hatred. My fortress has been blown to pieces and I will have to rebuild it, once again. This is the part of the cycle when I hate my job again, spoiled rotten rat, upset because I lost a little coin. I’ll delve into a semi-depressed state, brood in the dark over grotesque sized mugs of Earl Grey tea, secluded from the world, self-loathing on a very high level.

All of this started with Yellen’s stupid Fed meeting. She was like a vampire, sucking the confidence from the market, which led to a rout in high multiple stocks. Without free crack money, I suppose, multiple compression is in order.

As you see your positions careening lower, understand, they aren’t done. Take IFON as an example. None of this lollygagging should get in the way of them selling “IFON’s” in South America. However, Joe Schmuck from New Jersey owns 50,000 shares and is getting lit up in his SPLK right now. Therefore, he is gonna sell it, regardless of where the price is.

This is called “forced liquidation” for you punk rookies out there.

The margin clerks are just getting warmed up. The PPT has not flagged oversold and I am guessing we have another leg lower before we can stand on our own, like free men in a world bountiful with cocaine. A good option is to dollar cost in, buying in tiny increments as the market unravels. Even though I feel we trade lower, I might start nibbling at some of my death knells before the day is out.

NOTE: I sold out of MA.

Admittedly, I am losing my mind today, as symbolized by the nonsensical title of this post. I am losing about $100,000 every 10 minutes. Whenever I refresh the screen, I get see my stocks knifing lower, as if rapists were chasing after them (how fortunate for me). So I deiced to INITIATE DEFCON 10 MODE, which is reserved–EXCLUSIVELY (ooh,fancy)–for shovel to the grave markets.

Protect the extremities (penis, heart, brain–in that order)

Assume the worst.

Whatever can go wrong, will.

Stop believing in fairy tales. In the real world, every one dies.

LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY.

My first act was to sell, mind you, that fucking bastard SALE and her ugly cousin EZPW. I am through with them. May they go higher for the next 10,000 years without me. With these sales, I am removed from margin and have buying power that can help me defend the stocks I own on the run from rapists.

I might sell more. Or, I might not. Ideally, I’d like to hold onto the crap that is tanking hardest, with a chance to “average in” like a lunatic. Remember, I just did that with FEYE the other day.

The other side of the mountain is always hard, especially when you are skidding down it without pants.

The ping action in the momo names is exactly how I remembered it in 2000. Before I knew it, those bastard devil of stocks were down 50% and I was urinating in my pants, the walls, everywhere. I am tempted to just call it a day, sell everything and really head off to an island where no one could ever reach me. I’d become a sugar cane farmer and no one will ever have known that I was, at one point, Le Fly, blogger extraordinaire, leader of the inter- webs.

There is nothing but terrible in front of me and I wish I could assuage you with calm tales of wisdom. I offer you nothing but frantic lessons in violence today, stark memories of black clouds and fire pits from hell. If you’re looking for something positive, you’ve come to the wrong blogging factory. I have three stocks that represent all that is wrong with the market, with a 4th to match as a bonus: FEYE, SPLK, WDAY and SALE.

Congratulations Le Fly, you’ve managed to position yourself at the very centre of the catastrophe, betting with historical trends and the like, momentum names into a Ben-less market.

God speed. No one shall be spared.