BURN IN HELL: OIL IS RUNNING LIKE A MAD LION NOW

Everyone shut the fuck up I have an announcement to make.

I BOUGHT MOAR SHARES OF SLCA, SN AND ECR.

If you like the bloggy, you’re gonna love my Twitter account, if you’re not already following me. Thanks to The PPT, I was able to make this prescient call last night.

Visa is adding 90 points to the Dow today. Had it not been for those bozos, the Dow would be flat from yesterday’s sublime melt up. Or was it sublime? Perhaps it was insidious, a bastard event that has pitted man against man in the never ending quest to achieve cannibalistic rituals.

You want my money and I want yours. We box each others brains in and poke fun at each other when we are wrong. Some of us lie all the time, to make ourselves feel better about losing and/or market newsletters. I’ve never been a big fan of lying, since it tends to irritate the very essence of who I am. I put my trades out there to be ridiculed, shorted by vindictive billionaire hedge fund managers, torn to pieces by the winds from the east. It has been a horrendous 12 months for me and I cannot remember the last time I felt good about investing.

Sure, I have a thousands of ideas scrambling inside of my oversized brain, all to do with innovation and economic trends. But who gives a shit when the 10 yr yield is at 1.66%? I keep telling myself “things must get better”–because I am programmed to be optimistic about the economy and the market. In business, I’ve never found my natural tendency to be negative about things to be helpful. As a point in fact, I readily fight my pessimistic urges and avoid hanging around people who are depressing.

Boy is this market depressing; it makes me want to run away from it, lock the doors, and crawl under the bed screaming “go away you stupid bastard!”

On a whim, everything can change, which is why I want all of you to head on over to your local deli and stick your arms in the meat grinder (don’t do it!). That’s a permanent draw down. All of this shit here is fleeting.

Its been a brutal affair in oil and one would expect any algorithm to have gotten shredded over the past 6 months. Truth be told, The PPT has been wrong on USO, the commodity itself, as new levels breached to the downside shocked and awed all correlations known to mankind. However, believe it now, it has nailed the OIH trade with sublime precision.

Here’s a look at the actual oversold signal for OIH, over the past 12 months. As you can see, it’s a little slow to respond; but after 5 trading days, things start to get real colorful (extra Macho Man).

As of yesterday, the OIH flagged oversold and is still in a state of oversold, which means the system is expecting a reflex rally over the next 10 trading days.

I added to my ECR position.

The front page pic was taken by as friend down at the NYSE of slobs on line for free SHAK burgers.

SHAK opened at $50, which is fucking insane. The company is now valued at well over $1.8 billion.

I think I’ll keep my HABT, which is valued at around a billion less, does more revenue, and has the same growth rate.

I am unwilling to let profits ride any longer. I booked a 9% gain.

Yahoo is being valued at negative $1 billion, after its BABA and Yahoo Japan spinoffs. German 30 yr yields are under 1% and shorter duration sovereign yields are negative in most western democracies. Our 10yr yield is under 1.7% and TLT is at new highs.

Oil is cratering and the Dry Bulk Index is at its lowest point since 1986.

The entire commodity sector is in shambles and if it weren’t for US GDP numbers suggesting the economy can grow at 3%+, one would say we are trapped inside of a vicious deflationary cycle, one that stands to absolutely destroy equity prices.

Or, maybe we’re all fucking cowards and have COMPLETELY LOST OUR FUCKING MINDS, by giving governments our money for 10 years at NEGATIVE yields. This is unbelievable to me, frankly, how so many smart people can be so fucking stupid. There isn’t a credit crisis or an event that should cause you to stow away money into the coffers of Swiss central banks, locking in negative rate of returns.

Why not buy AAPL or SHAK instead?

One thing is for certain: we are in a new paradigm and the old rules do not apply. Adjust or die.

Who knew the market was going to bounce?

Make that 11-1 over the past 12 months, over a 1 day time period.

The PPT wins again.

In two days hence, the market is going to be higher than it is today.

Granted, we are suffering horrible deaths. I’d rather burn inside of an oven than be forced to figure out this jigsaw puzzle every single day, catering to people who define the word panic. All that aside, how cool is it to be a western democracy now?

Think about it. You get to keep the mountainous sized debt loads, without any credit repercussions, and now add to it, exponentially if you like, at NEGATIVE interest rates. That’s right. The plebs are actually going to pay you to take their money.

As a benevolent government crony, you can take said money and throw parties in your castle. Or, you can dole it out to poor people so they won’t firebomb your offices. Or, you can build bridges and tunnels, which is just another way of paying off the union bosses, who will then take a percentage of the money you give him and send it back to you in the form of ‘campaign donation’, which you will gladly spend wining and dining some of your pals.

Life has never been better for western democracies. Balance sheets mean nothing. Austerity is stupid and inflation is a figment of your imaginations. As long as the plebs believe GRAVE DANGER is on the horizon (after all oil is decidedly lower), you get to take their money and they will pay you to do it!

Forget about taxes (actually, don’t forget about it); taking the money outright is a much better stream of revenue.

Think of all the wars we might partake in now. ISIS is a threat? No problem. We will send 500,000 boys from Texas and Oklahoma to kill them. They don’t have any prospects now anyway, since their petrol based economies are in shambles.

Who will fill their jobs while they’re way?

Illegal Mexicans, who will do their jobs for pennies on the dollar, for fear of being caught and deported.

Oh, after you finish reading this bloggy, be a good boy and buy some more TLT. Compared to our european comrades, it’s so cheap and people are loving that yield.

I can sit here and wax poetic about the virtues of owning XYZ, how gold, bonds, and stocks all make sense and how Portuguese and Irish borrowing costs are supposed to be at zero percent: but I’d be lying.

BABA didn’t cook the books, so they missed revenue targets. Perhaps we know why the Chinese government was upset with them yesterday? Crooks and scoundrels.

I own a little BABA, but I own more HAR, which is my favorite way to play the auto sector. But who cares, really? I see what’s going on, the utter despair out there, good folks chasing bad ideas down the sewer hole into the jaws of alligators. I see it all.

It’s important that you know that I am in a constant state of cynicism and rage, upset at the world for being so great, yet so utterly dumb.

The market is a profound place to lose fortunes at break neck speeds. The longer I play this game, the less I want to own small cap stocks. It’s the lure of elephantine profit that keeps me coming back, like a crack fiend loitering about the old crackhouse.

Enough is enough: let’s bounce already, shall we?

What we have here is a chimerical concoction of deadly ingredients, wreaking havoc with the minds of cocaine addled money managers. They look at negative yields and think “what the fuck?” Then they look at oil collapsing and do a few lines of blow, tweaked out and losing money. Paranoid as shit, these coxcombs are now frantically selling shit twice, thinking about their $20,000 monthly mortgage and “nut” that makes middled class people want to throw pitched forks through the heads of every single trader on Wall Street.

This is the ultimate game of fear and greed and now there are a lot of greedy fuckers betting on final collapse, clamoring for starvation and homeless children forced into work camps by government overlords. Mad Maxx is coming and he’s pissed off.

Then again, markets are within an ear shot of 52 week highs. Gents are generally rich as fuck, discussing underwear on first rate financial blogs for reasons unbeknownst to me. Take that shit to other blogs that like to talk about bacon drenched in butter. Oh that’s right, you can’t.

HERETO: The PPT flags oversold tonight. Prepare for immediate melt up, bozo.