OIL BACK TO $10

Looking over my ‘fucked banks’ list, I see that more than a dozen names are enjoying double digits percentage gains, for the second day in a row. Today, the market is ripping thanks to [[JPM]] and the bargain basement price of $132 crude.

Nat gas is a piece of shit anyway. In no way do the fundamentals of natty dictate a price more than $7. The CNBC sponsored ‘tea bagging’ was erroneous to begin with. Guy Adami knows natural gas like Ben Bernanke knows a clean shave.

Oil is a different beast. Trust me, nothing would please me more than oil at $500 per barrel. This way, all of you poor fuckers would be forced to ride bicycles or horses, and shit. Instead, “The Fly” has to deal with traffic, every fucking day. Driving a car should be a privilege, not a God given right, just like medicine.

The way the banks are trading, you just know [[MER]] has their books cooked just right. No matter what they say, the shares will likely advance higher. Into this crescendo of fuckery, I want to sell. I initiated small positions in both [[SRS]] and [[SKF]] today, knowing I will be early. I will continue to add to the positions on dips.

I am being flame broiled on one short today: [[PACW]]. What a fucking joke.

Take a look at their earnings and witness the increase in loss provisions and a decline in deposits: a recipe for banking disaster. Without a doubt, I will short PACW up to $20.

Oil stocks are toasty on this dip. However, remember, ever fucking dip in energy related stocks has proven to be a worthwhile investment. Nonetheless, to hedge my bets, I went long [[VLO]]. It’s not a perfect hedge. But, should crude continue to drop, I believe sentiment will improve for the refiners: [[TSO]], [[SUN]], [[ALJ]], [[DK]] and [[HOC]]

Finally, gold is holding it gains. I still like [[DGP]]. And, last but not least, I am a big dicked buyer of [[FXP]], down at these levels.

NOTE: Short [[HDB]] looks good too.

This can cause ridiculous volatility in the forex and equity markets, as you know.

Developing…

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py-cH0YIqqs 450 300]

I bought 2,000 [[FXP]] @ $78.15, 2,000 [[SRS]] @ $103.17, 2,000 [[SKF]] @ $152.05 and 10,000 [[VLO]] @ $33.10

UPDATE: I bought 2,000 SKF @ $140.

Disclaimer: If you buy any of the above, the next time you go on a road trip, all four tires will blow out. And, you may lose money.

I sold short 5,000 [[PACW]] @ $16.

UPDATE: I sold short 5,000 PACW @ $16.55

Disclaimer: If you sell short PACW because of this post, the next time you order Chinese food, there will be a bug in your soup. And, you may lose money.

I sold 15,000 [[UYG]] @ $19.71

You’re not allowed to short bank stocks anymore. That shit is illegal and the SEC will punch your face off for it.

See, by shorting bank stocks, you are fucking up the government’s mojo, with regards to ripping off retired coal miners and sanitation workers.

For the most part, banks are all about taking the life savings of school teachers and fire fighters, then pissing it away on some exotic investment vehicle—like a CDO squared.

Soon you will hear of inquiries and rumors of inquiries from the SEC. They will come down hard on hedge fund managers who might have emailed a colleague: “LEH is a fucking pig.” There will be public hangings of these short sellers, since, after all, it was they who decided to make money market funds a risky investment, right?

In all seriousness, the people at [[FNM]] and [[FRE]] have important friends, who hold powerful government positions. We all know they are insolvent. But, they will not be allowed to fail for obvious reasons.

The right thing to do is to let them reorganize, cancel most of the debt by converting it to ‘new equity,’ then reissuing new shares, after reorg. Instead, it appears the Fed will keep this brain dead patient on life support, in the most inhumane manner. No matter what, eventually, FNM/FRE will fail—due to the flawed structure of their businesses.

With regards to today’s trading, I kicked out my last 15,000 [[UYG]]. Bank stocks are spring loaded again, on the backs of [[JPM]] earnings.

Did anyone doubt Jamie Dimon’s ability to pull rabbit out of his ass?

I am still holding my [[RKH]] position, in order to hedge my regional bank shorts.

Right here, I like [[RIG]], short [[VLY]], short [[PACW]] and short [[WABC]].

Bank stocks are being pumped up by asshats, who play the accordion while preparing spaghetti with meatballs.

Top pick: RIG

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkD_3P1Zx0E 450 300]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3x5sIvDJWU 450 300]

Remember, most of those stupid banks that were up 40% today will go out o’ business. You can have a scenario where the market gaps higher 1,000 points and two dozen bank stocks go to zero.

Odd, no?

I couldn’t help myself. I blew out of half of my [[UYG]] position, after bagging more than 2 bucks—intra-day. However, I did keep my [[RKH]] long in place, just to hedge my gay regional bank shorts.

Aside from weakness in some ‘global growth’ names, like [[CBI]], [[FWLT]] and [[FLR]], everything melted up, big time.

Scratch that, oil stocks went down too.

For the day, the trading mantra is to be short oil/long financials.

How stupid is everyone?

I will say, I have found it very difficult to borrow shares, in order to short bank stocks. I suspect there is some fuckery going on there.

If you have been short this market and have big gains, do not trade with your emotions. Do not be foolish and give back your hard fought gains. The market will gyrate wildly, prior to the ultimate move lower. I would not be surprised to see the DOW 500 points higher from here, or 2,000 points lower.

In short, it makes little sense to attempt to make a killing “now.”

After all, it’s the summer. I bet you will find the beach or pool to be a better place to hang out, instead of some retarded trading turret.

Towards the end of the day, I was tempted to add to short positions, but refrained. I will hold cash and sell my longs into the rally, while waiting for better prices to reapply my “death grip” on “select unspecified names.”

For the day, I was debanked to the tune of 4.8%.

UPDATE: This is Barry’s best post ever. A must read.