Today’s Leaders are Tomorrow’s Losers

Today’s winners on the Dow include:

In the Nasdaq, the lion share of the gains can be attributed to strength in the following:

In addition, financial related names are catapulting higher, as amateur shorts get squeezed and coked out money managers average down. My guess, the market will remain range bound, with wild swings between 10,750-11,650, until September.

If you are going to keep skin in the game, remember to be hedged.

Top pick: long [[FXP]]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TDSLaDZHLo&feature=rec-fresh 450 300]

My readers aren’t half bad. Most of you are simple folk, who enjoy lunch breaks and a nice ham sandwich, every once in awhile. It’s the other assholes on the internet and television that bother “The Fly.”

If you think about it, it’s sort of retarded, getting mad at other people who voice opinions. However, just know, “The Fly” is all about authoritarian rule and labor intensive boot camps for those who go against him.

Case in point: CNBC

This network will eventually kill me, via cardiac arrest or stroke. It makes no sense to watch them, since they offer zero value. However, since they are apt and keen on spreading market moving rumors (Gas Man, Faber, Cramer), I am forced to watch them. Forced, mind you.

At the end of the day, I wish none of these people fortune.

In other news, the market is teetering here. Mr. Mortgage nailed that [[AGO]] short. I complimented him for it and his reply was very “robot-esque,” as always. He wishes death to both [[HRB]] and [[NLY]]. I believe he wanted me to pass that message along, sort of like some twisted/demented chain letter.

I am taking the liberty to short more [[HDB]], UP AT THESE LEVELS. This stock is really starting to piss me off. At first, the sudden rise was humorous. I even called friends and family to take a gander at it; so we could laugh together as it climbed. But this is just ridiculous. It’s starting to cost me money.

I just sold out of my [[VLO]] trade. Fuck that noise. I’d rather buy more [[RIG]].

In short, expect this rally to die with a whimper soon. The fundamentals do not support higher equity prices. And, just because gasoline is at the bargain discount price of $4.30 per gallon, that doesn’t make poor people shop at [[M]].

I sold short 1,000 [[HDB]] @ $84.05

Disclaimer: If you sell short HDB because of this post, the government will stop handing out cheese and you will starve. And, you may lose money.

No, I am not going to pop off on a tangent, complaining about how stupid everyone is for buying stocks, into horrendous earnings. Instead, I will point to the catastrophic declines in a multitude of names and predict pain for those of you who are sentimental about “summer rallies.”

So sorry.

Seriously, one would have to be mentally ill and fitted for a sleeveless dinner jacket, in order to get bullish now. The only thing the bulls “have going for them” is the lack of a giant hurricane to knock over those fucking rigs in the gulf. Other than that, it’s pure agony.

In short, there are many money managers out there who are into the ‘goldilocks economy.’ After all, if you were the architect for a new economy in a vibrant civilization, America’s hodge podge of banking fuckery would be the ideal choice for the perfect monetary system, no? This shit is like a well oiled muffler with a bullshit engine inside, constantly needing some asshole to push it down to the next repair center.

Short [[GM]].

In other news, I still like [[RIG]], despite the sudden lack of ‘killer ‘canes’ in the gulf. In addition, the rally in [[HDB]] is borderline absurd. Sell it twice.

Poof. Your bullshit summer rally is gone.

-Merlin

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIqMV7hwaGk 450 300]

Go ahead, keep betting against me. Soon enough, you will be forced to hold yard sales, in order to fund your margin calls. [[RIG]] is not going lower, you unwashed leeches.

Instead, it is going to take your face by the ear, then peel off your craniofacial.

For the day, I had muted gains, snapping a two or three day losing streak. Most of my gains can be attributed to RIG, since it is my largest position.

My short positions are still fucked. Nonetheless, I still like short [[VLY]], short [[PACW]], short [[TEX]], short [[VMC]], short [[HDB]] and long [[FXP]], [[REW]], [[SRS]], [[SKF]] and [[TWM]].

In all earnest, do not be shocked or amazed to see an August rally, which will effectively render most investors defenseless for the next leg down. I expect the worst of this tape will show itself from September-November.

As sure as I am sitting here, in this luxurious leather chair (unlike your pleather shit from Staples), the market will make new lows and “The Fly” will reduce all of you other third rate bloggers to rubble and a permanent state of irrelevancy.

The only alternative is total/unconditional surrender.

Developing…

The entire bull thesis is dependent on oil trading lower. I know many bears who hate crude, due to its nonsensical rise, ignoring econ 101 “rules of reason.”

Listen up fucker.

Crude is your friend, especially if you are short the market. Crude is not running on supply/demand or because of dastardly bastardly hedge funds. It is running because it is.

In a world of fuckery, that’s all you need to know.

So, the bulls are pinning their hopes on weak crude and improving credit markets.

It’s a repeat fucktards. I already saw this movie and it ends like this:

In other news, [[SGP]] needs to go down, because their fucking drugs do not work. I am not a big fan of western medicine, with exception to antibiotics. When I am old, I will die in my house, not in some stupid hospital full of nosocomial infections— just in case you were wondering.

As an aside, the refiners are ripping higher. Right here, I like [[VLO]], [[TSO]] and [[SUN]].

Additionally, I like [[FTK]], [[ARD]], [[UPL]], [[SU]] and of course [[RIG]] and [[NOV]].

In short, it’s time to get short asshole banks again, like [[CATY]], [[EWBC]], [[VLY]], [[PACW]] and [[LEH]], while getting long crude in the most egregious way possible.

Our resident hurricane watcher is hoping “Dolly will suck the pants off America,” via horrendous winds and “ball busting precipitation.”

Inside sources tell me “Dolly” will enter the Gulf of Mexico and punch the mustaches off of many oil rigs.

My personal weatherman says “Dolly is a dumb broad with fake nails and tits, ova here.” He said: “Fughetiboutit. Tell the steers and queers in Texas to wear a rain jacket and keep an umbrella handy.”

Should the storm take aim on the GOM rigs, get long crude and natty, via [[HP]], [[GLBL]], [[UPL]], [[UNG]], [[TXCO]] and [[NGAS]].