iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
22,548 Blog Posts

No Water for You

Not only is NYC jacking its water/sewer rates up by 14.5%, they’re also going to break your fucking concrete and cut your pipes, in order to terminate your service—providing you’re late and shit.

This is grande news for “The Fly,” as less water for the poor, means more for my lawn and shrubs.

Also, as an aside, NYC will no longer accept delinquent accounts. In the past, if your account was past due $1,000+ for one year or longer, assholes with jackhammers would come to your house and break through your pavers, in order to seal the water pipes to your house.

Now, under the direction of the gayest man to rock Gracie mansion since Koch, Bloomberg will have those same assholes with jackhammers bust through your new slate for just $500 in the hole and 6 months delinquent.

Speaking to someone in the business, the city is getting “clown fucked” by lots of deadbeats, unable to pay for basic service.

As a result, thinking about the people who need to drink water to survive and shit, Bloomberg and his fairy friends decided to hike rates and send out the “water nazi’s” to bust through stone and hardened tar, with the intentions of turning off good ol’ fashioned H2O to desperate family’s who need it.

Fuck poor people, God willing of course.

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27 comments

  1. BOTD

    RECORD SUMMER HEAT, and no water? … Water is the essence of wetness.

    can we get long “agua” futures?

    p.s. CWCO had a nice end of day pop….hmmm…

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  2. Danny

    give us your tired, your poor, and your huddled masses longing to be free.

    make them work at walmart, pay them shit, and turn off their water via jackhammer.

    welcome to ‘merica, motherfucker.

    Makes me glad I know how to bank coin.

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  3. Molecool

    ‘The greatest country on earth’ – right, something like this would result in a public outcry where I come from (Europe).

    Having migrated to the U.S. about 16 years ago I recently keep wondering if I want to stay here. It’s just getting more and more brutal and heartless. Does hardly resemble the country I found 1 1/5 decades ago.

    Lucky for me I have a place to go where something like this would never be considered. Many people I know aren’t so lucky…

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  4. InternationalGroupie

    what happens if i check the box a?

    This concept is common in most Asian countries. The psychological effects help the delinquents learn to balance his books, and try to get help if needed. Instead of “fuck off, u (govt) dog” they’ll say “please help i have 4 kids, 3 wifes and 2 pets to feed(asking for benefits).”

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  5. GW

    H2o is a free gift from the planet.

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  6. Juice

    This seals the deal; Not only are we in a recession Dennis Kneale denies, but we will have a depression Dennis Kneale will deny.

    And you don’t need a time machine to see that.

    Normally I would ask how can we profit from such fuckery, but these are not normal times. Obviously, one way would be to go short Dennis Kneale’s IRA.

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  7. Juice

    GW, it is the enterprising earth humans m.o., to take what is free and put a fee on it.

    As that famous economist, great American and best friend of Dennis Kneale says: “free market capitalism is the best path to cronyism”.

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  8. The Fly

    Then how come iBankCoin is free?

    Odd, no?

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  9. Juice

    My guess: The Godly The Fly will let the internets become addicted to IBC and then he will charge an UnGodly fee.

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  10. Employee8

    That shut him UUP ….

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  11. calvino

    You seem to confuse the readership here with the lily livered, mochachino drinking neighbors of yours. You put a fee on this shit and we are coming to your house for a chat with you.

    btw here is an upbeat interview with Martin Henneke, for the Teutonic perspective. Seems he’s not very happy about the loss in the Euro cup.

    http://www.bloomberg.com/avp/avp.htm?clipSRC=mms://media2.bloomberg.com/cache/vVkI8WexWY2M.asf

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  12. marie bloomberg
    marie bloomberg

    “the greatest country on earth”… in 2003, 14,802 olde fuckers dropped dead in france from the heat while their caring fellow citizens and loving government civil servants frolicked on their vacations. let the moths who came to nyc attracted by the flames of free money and free housing, drink louis roederer and bathe in irish cream. obama willing of course.
    sincerely mike

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  13. “The Fly” should move down to Boca – the water is fine. Henneke says hyper inflationary depression and another economist says deflation – can’t they make up their minds? Senor Tropicana lives here, I think – http://www.cubanology.com

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  14. Juice

    HRB supplies 1-2-3-4 punch to bears. Earnings beat, ups guidance, raises divi, issue share repurchase. Lets see how it trades but since it is heavily shorted & putted, expect a major pop.

    6:18AM H & R Block beats by $0.08, beats on revs; guides FY09 EPS above consensus; raises annual dividend by $0.03 and authorizes $2 bln share repurchase (HRB) 20.82 : Reports Q4 (Apr) earnings of $2.11 per share, excluding discontinued operations, $0.08 better than the First Call consensus of $2.03; revenues rose 11.2% year/year to $2.62 bln vs the $2.5 bln consensus. Co issues upside guidance for FY09, sees EPS of $1.60-1.70 vs. $1.58 consensus. Co raises annual dividend $0.03 to $0.60 and authorizes $2 bln of share repurchases during the four-year period FY09-FY12. Initial purchases aren’t anticipated prior to Q409

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  15. BPOE

    Look you can’t fuck a New Yorker for long. They are the best at finding a way to scam the scammers. In six months the mayor will be kissing ass big time!!!!

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  16. Crude Broker

    I thought people just drank bottled water up there so what is the big deal? I mean, they will pay $1.89 for a 16 oz bottle of water right? That is roughly $15 for a gallon of that shit. Mo’ expensive than that Black Texas Tea fo’ shazey my nazey.

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  17. TraderCaddy

    Let me know if you need some water. Be glad to ship you some. I have a well (no water bill) that sits on one of the the larger aquifers in Florida. Also have a septic tank so no sewer bill.

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  18. Crude Broker

    DCR has to be a buy down here, it’s at a penny!!! ($.01) there is now way it can go any lower!!!

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  19. XPat NY'er living in the shithole they call Jersey

    BPOE just knocked the skin off the ball. The firts time a person dies Bloomberg will start back peddaling. If its a minority, and Sharpton is out there we will be giving out even more free services to the poor.

    god forbid people pay for their shit.

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  20. Can of Corn Humper
    Can of Corn Humper

    Here’s how to profit from it. ERII is scheduled to price their IPO tomorrow. Fly probably is hearing price talk and whether the deal gets done or pulled.

    ERII makes filters for recycling energy that makes desalination economically efficient. Their filters are effectively the de facto industry standard giving them over 60% global market share and huge historic and prospective growth.

    If the deal gets done, it’s going to price rich and I’d expect the momentum junkies to jump all over it.

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  21. Prospectus

    Pay for your own services or GTFO.

    If you can’t pay, get out of your house and dig me a ditch or something–then you get “free” services.

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  22. Aris

    lol @ crude broker

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  23. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Fly when is JCG a buy? Its uber cheap here.

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  24. NYC Water Official
    NYC Water Official

    Advice to New Yawkas: Go dig your own waterhole while I go get another cup of coffee. Thanks.

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  25. Jakegint

    Alleged “libertarian” bullshits:

    GW, it is the enterprising earth humans m.o., to take what is free and put a fee on it.

    As that famous economist, great American and best friend of Dennis Kneale says: “free market capitalism is the best path to cronyism”.

    You know when water is free? When you can get off your ass, dig a well and get it out with the sweat of your own labor. Or grab a bucket and head to the East River.

    When you expect somebody else to haul it to your door, you have to pay for it.

    That’s not “cronyism*” it’s called “a useful exchange of goods and services.”

    You are about as libertarian as my Leninist Librarian.

    _______________

    (“Cronyism” = another KosKid Kommie Word of the Day, for those paying attention)

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  26. Jakegint

    NY Water–

    Eggs-fuggin’-zactly!

    TYVM.

    __

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  27. Wait for it......
    Wait for it......

    Breaking News Alert…

    Krudlow just offered a guest spot to Jakegint because he is impressed with Jake’s relentless ability to turn any comment into right-wingnut political commentary.

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