It’s Time to Eat Coal

Over the past 3 months, shareholders of coal stocks were thrown out of airplanes, sans parachutes, into fields of cacti. But with the new government bailout on the table,commodity stocks are being dug out from their graves and tossed into Wall Street ballrooms, yet again.

Plus anyway, we’re going into winter and shit and you pikers need coal to heat your bullshit homes.

You can buy the filthy rock directly, via buying [[KOL]] . Or, you can man up and get long coal stocks, such as Peabody Energy Corporation [[BTU]] , Arch Coal, Inc. [[ACI]] , James River Coal Company [[JRCC]] , CONSOL Energy Inc. [[CNX]] , Massey Energy Company [[MEE]] or maybe a little Walter Industries, Inc. [[WLT]] .

Aside from coal, oil is raping non-middle eastern assholes hard. For this new leg up in oil, I like Occidental Petroleum Corporation [[OXY]] , ConocoPhillips [[COP]] , Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] and National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] . Or, you can get lazy and buy [[IEO]] and [[DIG]] .

In short, if you’re tired of getting your chest hairs punched off in the banks, go fuck around with some commodities. They’re safe, compared to the daily fluctuations of our financial system.

NOTE: If oil keeps shooting higher, expect Dry bulk shipping rates to rise. Hence, DryShips Inc. [[DRYS]] , Genco Shipping & Trading Limited [[GNK]] and TBS International Limited [[TBSI]] may go up. And, solar and rail stocks may catch a bid too. The only solar stock worth mentioning is First Solar, Inc. [[FSLR]]

The downside to Friday’s nutcase bank rally is the next day give back; which we happen to be enjoying today. Many banks printed highs then reversed course and commenced fucking shareholders, sort of like what Synovus Financial Corp. [[SNV]] is doing to me.

Suspicious of government men in clown suits, I refuse to bet against the banks here, even though it’s the “cool thing to do.”

Instead, I’d rather bet against commercial real estate assholes, via [[SRS]] and get long gold, via [[DGP]] or Yamana Gold Inc. (USA) [[AUY]] .

Finally, I find it interesting that Morgan Stanley [[MS]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] will no longer be considered “investment banks.” I guess they have the green light to start opening retail branches now, thanks to the Treasury. After all, those fuckers need to raise capital. What better way to raise capital than to offer American idiots free toasters with every 10k deposited? This capitalism shit really crash and burned, eh?

Top pick: Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]]

Position Update (SNV): via Briefing

With a fresh 1 trillion dollars coming out of the printing press, expect to see the inflation story to be introduced, in a very egregious way.

Temporarily, I am staying long banks, until [[SKF]] hits the mid to high 80’s and Citigroup Inc. [[C]] goose steps to $25. After that, I will direct my energy towards precious metals and oil, as the inflation panic reemerges its stupid head.

Some undervalued commodity stocks include: Yamana Gold Inc. (USA) [[AUY]] , Southern Copper Corporation (USA) [[PCU]] , Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] , Valmont Industries, Inc. [[VMI]] , Potash Corp./Saskatchewan (USA) [[POT]] , Monsanto Company [[MON]] , Royal Gold, Inc. [[RGLD]] , Occidental Petroleum Corporation [[OXY]] , ConocoPhillips [[COP]] , Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] and Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] . Naturally, there are many others; but that’s my fucking list.

Now, I am not sure if the commodities will respond right away, or if there will be a headfake first. Either way, the appropriate course of action should be to get long the sector, with both balls in hand, then spit warm beer at Larry Kudlow for suggesting otherwise.

Remember, this is not some bullshit stimulus package we’re talking about. This is 1 trillion dollars, fuckface. Trade accordingly.

A Bailout for everyone, with exception to the debt ridden American loser. God bless communism.

“If a financial institution has business operations in the United States, hires people in the United States, if they are clogged with illiquid assets, they have the same impact on the American people as any other institution,” Paulson said.

I am back and I am naming names. Hearings will begin on Monday.

-Senator Joseph McCarthy aka “Commy Killer”

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3jf9_rua5Q 450 300]

Unless you’re prepared to take up arms against the government, I suggest chilling the fuck out and quit worrying about shit you have zero influence or control over.

After all, we are on this miserable planet for an undetermined amount of time. There is no point in trying to change something that can never be changed. It’s sort of like trying to make the Statue of Liberty a lesbian.

So, the government is giving us a green light to make money in stocks. Why not take it?

Sure, lot’s of short sellers got ape raped; but that’s Wall Street. It’s unforgiving and entirely inhumane.

If Wall Street was an easy place to make money, all you of pikers would own holding companies, making tender offers for distressed cdo’s.

I digress.

With my money, as always, I will press the envelope here, staying long a lot of Citigroup Inc. [[C]] and a variety of other long side bets. I like bank stocks with big short positions, like Synovus Financial Corp. [[SNV]] and Interactive Brokers Group, Inc. [[IBKR]] , and I will buy them in size.

For a hedge, like a rat, I will nibble on [[SRS]] and get long basic materials, such as Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] and Southern Copper Corporation (USA) [[PCU]] .

Finally, I am not sure if I got lucky or if it was skill that made me switch from short to long yesterday. Let’s just say I got lucky for having a “calculator brain,” and for being a bad ass “space alien magician,” who drives diamond studded time machines—when all of you assholes are home sleeping like little bitches.

This just about sums up Paulson’s interaction with those who sell short bank stocks. Further commentary on this matter is no longer needed.

I sold 75,000 Citigroup Inc. [[C]] @ $21.25. And, I sold 50,000 Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] @ $12.65.

I bought 20,000 Synovus Financial Corp. [[SNV]] @ $12.75, 20,000 Citigroup Inc. [[C]] @ $20.10 and 1,000 [[SRS]] @ $72.34.

UPDATE: I bought 20,000 Interactive Brokers Group, Inc. [[IBKR]] @ $21.62. And, I bought 10,000 SNV @ $12.71.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the government will arrest you for being an active short seller. And, you may lose money.