Attention World: We Need More Money

Let this be a warning to you euro/asia-trash GQ type: America is going to rob you stupid, through various means—whether it be through war, famine or some sort of fucked up hybrid aids flu virus. Moreover, we look forward to exploiting the cheap labor pools in South East Asia, or the North for that matter. Drug traffickers are more than welcome to flood our streets with heroin, providing it keeps the proletariat docile.

Through unchecked greed and outright carelessness, we got ourselves into a pickle jar—one year ago today. Since then, we have borrowed more money than the world has ever seen, just to keep the party going a little longer—just to placate the present power structure. Fuck the future.

Some people say America will pay dearly for borrowing so much money and for not producing anything. To those people, I implore you, take a look at our Navy and Airforce. It will take China 100 years to match our current forces. By then, our hooks will be so deep into our enemies necks; they will have no choice but to obey us.

So, laugh at us all you want for making fucked up cars and bullshit blenders; we own you—despite making nothing.

This message was brought to you by a proud owner of U.S Treasury notes.

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Fuck China and their stupid stock exchange. I will start following China’s lead, once I am the proud owner of a Nike sweat shop. Until that happens, which is inevitable, “The Fly” will bet against the ham and eggers, who find themselves long assholish amounts of [[FAZ]] .

Aside from my opinions, you need to pay attention to your own feelings. If a stock “feels” bad, dump it. Throw it into a bonfire and walk away. The problem with trying to wait out a stubborn market is the prospect that it can destroy you. Slow drip markets, like this one, will massacre your checking accounts and send you and your family into soup kitchens. Remember, stocks are for asshats. Just because you have been moderately successful in sucker punching Mother Market, don”t think she won’t cut your balls off the next time she catches you.

With that in mind, I sold out of my Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] position today, despite liking the long term fundamentals. It felt like shit; therefore, I flushed it.

As you know, I added to my Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] position, which at the moment, is the #1 recommendation from the shadow on the wall— near my favorite urinal. That guy is on fucking fire.

Finally, I hate Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] and wish death upon the person who invented that bastard of a company. If I could go back in time, which I most certainly can, I’d throw the fetus of the future founder of Flotek, into a pile of knife wielding Jack in the Boxes.

UPDATE: As you’ve probably noticed, we’ve placed “hover charts” on ticker symbols throughout the site. Needless to say, they’re fucking boss; but in order to take advantage of this great new functionality, you must (regrettably) install MSFT’s Silverlight platform.

Good news is, it’s free, easy to install (http://www.microsoft.com/silverlight/get-started/install/default.aspx), and works with all modern browsers. [Note: by “modern,” I do not mean Lynx and its ilk. If you’re one of the dishonourable ingrates who enjoys this Godly site via the rustic charm of a UNIX shell, know that, from this moment on, you and your (immediate) family are BANNED FOR LIFE from iBankCoin. Good day.]

I bought 10,000 Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] @ $2.09.

Disclaimer: If you buy SONS because of this post, the next time you are in an elevator, the cables will snap. And, you may lose money.

Today’s sell off is no different that the previous 10, which were met with frenzied buying sprees. Personally, I am waiting for overall PPT score to hit the 2.20’s, prior to adding more cash to this market. Historically, the market has bottomed, whenever the overall score hit 2.25 and below.

As an aside, “The Fly” is quite busy today, drinking large quantities of coffee, produced by the good folks down in Brazil. So you know, I enjoy drinking coffee from various places of origin, with marked exception to Russia. Their coffee sucks dick.

Thus far, The House that Gore built aka “global warming” has been an abject failure, unable to produce a single “killer ‘cane” in the Gulf of Mexico this summer. What kind of shit is that? Are we so far gone that we are now entering a new ice age? If so, I look forward to banking some coin off some egregious avalanches.

Finally, now is a great time to build a watchlist of stocks, hopefully with The PPT, for future purchase. Embrace the sell off, like a blanket laced with small pox, and soon enough you too will own casinos TAX FREE.

Some people told you to “go away in May.” Others said “the summer will fuck up your portfolios.” Now, those same people bring you a featured presentation called “September Will Rape You.”

Brought to you by the good folks who invented the credit crisis: September is being hyped up as some sort of jack in the box for investors; whereby when the music ends, it jumps out and punches you in the face with a knife.

Believe you me, I’ve played with this organic jack in the box before and it never misses. So, with that in mind, get your 3d glasses ready and prepare to enjoy the show.

Barron’s published a “hit piece” on the refiners, this past weekend, hitting my Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Holly Corporation [[HOC]] and Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] positions. And, oil is getting fucked up something awesome this morning, effectively tossing the market into a garbage truck filled with only jack in the boxes.

With my money, I will sit tight and wait for this little sell-off to pass, then load the fuck up on Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] , Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] , Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] and General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] . I WILL NOT short this decline, despite having loads of idle cash just sitting here eating pretzels.

The stupid Chinese are enjoying a 5% dump-out, while the rest of Asia just (sort of) sits around eating pretzels and rice cakes.

In other words, nothing to see here; go fuck yourselves.

You don’t even have to buy stocks; just go drink yourself into a stupor.

So you know, “The Fly” will be inebriated shortly, all thanks and praise to the beer Gods.

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For the love of dusty lamps shades, the bears have been flattened out and stabbed with African spears, by various stocks—as of late. However, no stock has “spear-chucked” those silly bastards like American International Group, Inc. [[AIG]] . That shit is just incredulous.

This week was delightful, despite a few minor setbacks. I get the feeling, despite the market being up big from the lows, that we are about to touch down on Dow 10,000. If and when that happens, I will be obligated to sell a substantial amount of my holdings, in order to stay true to my game plan.

Until then, I like the refiners, specifically Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Holly Corporation [[HOC]] and Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] . And, for a trade, I like Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] , Sunstone Hotel Investors, Inc [[SHO]] and General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] . Longer term, I am hopeful that Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] can get the dicks out of their ears and [[ENTR]] can shoot to $10, based upon a ramp up in orders from Time Warner.

Have a good weekend, or not. Either scenario is entirely acceptable to me.