Late Night Alumni – Empty Streets

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Most of you losers are big time haters of The Partnership, better known by you as Goldman Sachs. However, I take great offense to your hatred, as if you were trying to take my heavily salted 2 1/2 inch rib eye out of my plate and into yours.

Let it be known, if it wasn’t for Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , most of you money managers/traders/pikers would be mopping aisle 5, at your local grocery store. Goldman has been of great service to this country, dating back to WW2, and is a source of stability in a very unstable financial world. Don’t you fuckers get it? It is amazing for to read/hear some of the ridiculous shit coming out of your blogs/comments, with regards to how “evil” Goldman is and who they are raping today. Assholes, Goldman has a lot of money and influence. Trying to understand how they operate and why is equal to a small maker of gun holsters trying to figure out the secret r&d behind a General Dynamics Corporation [[GD]] missile project.

It is way above your understanding; so quit wasting everyone’s time with inane rumor milling.

With regards to this alleged “Head and Shoulders formation”: cop a walk fucktard. If the market declines, it will be because there are more sellers than buyers, nothing to do with asshole charts and how they make people feel about themselves. Idiots.

For the day, I was up around 1%, negating yesterday’s losses. My new focus, as outlined on The PPT, will be to build a grand portfolio around a certain theme. To do so, I will be forced to blow out of many of my legacy positions, in order to raise cash for the new investments. Over the next two months, I plan to allocate at least 20% of my assets to this program.

Top pick: Corning Incorporated [[GLW]]

UPDATE: iBC still needs your vote.

First of all, anyone who is long Sirius Satellite Radio Inc. [[SIRI]] needs to have his head examined for fractures. As the smartphone craze continues, apps like Pandora will, basically, eliminate broadcast radio and most assuredly SIRI. After all, why pay for something that you can get for free? Buy an adapter, plug it into your bberry or iPhone and PRESTO: free custom radio, sans commercials.

Speaking of smartphones, the At&t network is taxed, due to iPhone bandwidth hoggers. Currently, iPhone users take up 69% of smartphone bandwidth. That is fucking incredibly ridiculous.

With that in mind, it would be a wise thing for many of you jelly fish eaters to get long stocks that provide network equipment to AT&T Inc. [[T]] . Some names to look at: ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , Ceragon Networks Ltd. [[CRNT]] , amongst others. Aside from At&t, the Verizon Communications Inc. [[VZ]] network is stretched too, thanks to Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] and other smartphone devices.

Look people, you need to start thinking on your own. I can’t do this shit all the time, feeding you bastards cogent financial advice, while spitting at technicians who support the idea of “head and shoulder” top formations. As you know, the h&s formation is as real as the Loch ness Monster.

Oh, one final tidbit of information to mention: AT&T Inc. [[T]] is in the process of culling their network vendors, from 100’s to about 40. At the end of the day, this will be a boon for big vendors, like ADTN, Juniper Networks, Inc. [[JNPR]] , Cisco Systems, Inc. [[CSCO]], Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] , [[ERIC]] , Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] and Brocade Communications Systems, Inc. [[BRCD]] , while meaning doom for minor suckers like Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] . Keep your eye on the ball son and try not to let the catcher kick you in the nuts when you’re not looking.

You are the proud recipient of a Mike Tysonesque upper cut to the scrotum this morning. It’s all over. Run for the hills, pack the kids, put the luggage in the car seats and drive to a desolate area for sweet Jesus safety. Protect your scrotum.

Apparently, based upon consumer confidence data, the economy is still not kicking ass. That’s odd, since no one ever said it was, nor did anyone ever put forth such an egregious argument. I suppose, eventually investors want hard data to back up their insane buying binges. Still, I contend, just because you don’t like stocks, doesn’t means the Dow should be at 8,500. For the love of blue horse shoes, criminals were committing broad daylight shootings in NYC, when the Dow was last seen at 8,500. Granted, that past sentence offers zero reasons to own stocks: I insist, the economy is not nearly as bad as you think.

Nonetheless, today’s set up is of the fucked up variety. I am sure the Dow will slide between 1-2%, sending all into a frenzy. To be honest, as opposed to just lying to you, I’d be remiss to say this type of action usually precedes a longer drawn out decline. With oil dropping like a stone and the dollar strong, the market will have a difficult time rallying today. Furthermore, since today is the last day of the quarter, abject amateurs will sell the market—wholesale—thinking they will somehow avoid some post end of quarter window undressing tomorrow.

In short, I still recognize the current trend and it is up. Anyone who says otherwise is plain ol’ vanilla gay and is well deserving of an electric chair.

The days of laughing while trading are over. Prepare for your final destination, found somewhere south of SKULLFUCKVILLE, just north of CLOWRAPE Town.

Developing…

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[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aJROW6cuEM 616 500]

This is a pretty straight forward process. If you run money and need to window dress your brochures, you will lap dog your way into tomorrow, being the proud owner of the “bestest stocks” in the world. Hell, even if you missed the recent run, don’t worry, you can buy now and just make believe you were smart and shit, despite your lackluster results. People will look at your holdings and marvel: “wow, that guy is a great manager.”

Stocks like Baidu.com, Inc. (ADR) [[BIDU]] , Google Inc. [[GOOG]] , Fuqi International, Inc. [[FUQI]] and Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] will be bought, while asshole stocks like Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] are sort of tossed to the side, as if it were garbagio. However, this type of positioning often leads to great buying opportunities, especially in names that were sold en masse. What’s important to remember, in general, if the market is truly in recovery mode, most stocks will trade higher, not just the who’s who of Joe Mutual Fund’s holdings.

Naturally, there are many skeptics, who refuse to acknowledge the slightest improvements in the economy. These people believe the market will hit new lows, effectively ripping the country out from within, sending you into government controlled “food camps,” where the O’bama administration could control your daily caloric intake. Keep in mind, I really do not give a fuck, either way. As a matter of fact, I prefer to make money on the short side, since it’s easier. When stocks go down, everything knifes lower. It’s like taking candy away from an armless Madoff.

In closing, the trend is up, why fight it?

If you notice, a lot of small cap names that were flying higher, into the rebalancing of the Russell on Friday, are now nosediving. Consider it a wash and move on. What’s important to note is the resilient price of crude, stubbornly sustaining $70+ per barrel. In my opinion, today’s market strength is screaming “fresh leg higher” for indices and demand your attention.

I know it’s slow, summer, low volume fuckery. However, the market has been basing out for awhile, digesting recent gains. If this fucker will not sell off, well God damn it, it’s gonna break the fuck out.

With my money, I like TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , [[ARMH]] , TeleCommunication Systems, Inc. [[TSYS]] , amongst the usual suspects.

One thing to note: we are nearing the end of the 2nd quarter; therefore, beware of end of quarter trickery, as money managers window dress their asshole funds. In others words, before I sign up for the “fresh leg higher” thesis, I need to see the market continue to move higher, AFTER June 30th.

Finally, the banks look pretty good today. I am sure there are many worth buying: for the record, my exposure to the banks begins and ends with Umpqua Holdings Corporation [[UMPQ]] .

As Hollywood people drop like flies, a revolution is brewing, like a bullshit 40oz. of Colt 45 malt liquor. A technology revolution, fuckface, not some “I’m mad at the government and I’m not gonna take it any longer” variety. It is coming and it will be gifuckulous.

Just in case you are wondering “WTF is this asshole talking about?” Your  broke ass will have to bribe a “Distinguished Gentleman” of The PPT for scraps of information. In other words, my new investment thesis is for closers only.

As an aside, LG display just surprised to the upside.

Long live 32 inch LCD screens and all the shit that goes with it.

Disclosure: long Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] (now my #1 position by size) and loving it.