Get Your Rally Monkeys Ready

If I was a fucking plant, I’d love this NYC weather. Unfortunately, I am not water proof and do not appreciate “God urine” blessing me on a daily basis. What happened to global warming, Mr. Tree Fucker? My carbon footprint is so big, so egregious, one would think that “The Fly” just doesn’t give a fuck.

Hmmm.

You heard it here first, folks, the market correction is over, prepare for new highs. Today’s “market math” is as follows: oil up+dollar down+(banks up+tech up)= Fuck you shorts, you’re dead.

It’s that simple.

Despite my bullish leanings, I will not deploy the 10% cash on my sidelines, mainly because I am perfectly content NOT being a bullish lunatic. The way I figure, I need 20% cash in order to effectively hedge my positions, if need be. So, with that in mind, I will be a net seller, into any rallies.

There is one sour flavour [sic] to this market: potential capacity utilization slowdown at TSM. Without getting too detailed, just know, if the semiconductor foundries start to cut back production, I will be out of this market faster than chocolate cake on a fat mans desert tray.

Top picks: OVTI, GLW

Okay folks, this is really important/ high grade shit. I am allowing you to be privy to the “magic of circles and triangles” and how they portend certain doom and disaster within equities.

Notice how the circles and “dorito-like” triangle are fucking with each other. It’s almost as if the triangle is laughing at the pathetic circles for being a pair of pussies. On the other hand, the circles have the triangle in a “super-fucked hemlock” which can result in a disastrous market calamity, even nuclear war.

In my work, as a licensed “chart-chomper,” I have never seen the circles attempt this move. This move is equal to or worse than applying the figure four leg lock onto a person with two broken legs; yeah, it’s that fucking bad.

The only way this market can survive such a predicament is via the formation of a “super-triangle fuck you style pizza hamburger” formation. Let me tell you, if such a thing were to occur, the short sellers would be better off traveling back in time to abort their own births, than endure such a torturous move to the upside.

It’s that serious, people.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MigURCQQA0 616 450]

Once again, I was wrong for not paring down longs and initiating shorts. There are a lot of cross currents in the market that is tricking me into “deer in headlight” inaction.

First, we have people like Guy Adami getting all bearish and shit, a very ominous sign for the sellers. Then, we have persistent downside action in the dollar, while oil/gas goes up. Simultaneously, commodity related names are having their clocks cleaned, based upon fears of a looming market correction.

Recent market leaders, banks, CRE, tech and commodity stocks, were exceptionally weak today, which contributed to the late day reversal in the indices. The risk to money managers, who missed out on the recent run, is NOT buying this dip, then watching the market firecracker their faces off.

It’s a fight for market dominance, where many people will get tricked into bankrupting themselves into a Halfway House. Despite my bullish leanings, my patience is wearing thin. I don’t have time to fuck around, waiting for the bulls to take what’s theirs. I will be assessing my positions tonight, and plan for adverse market behavior over the near term.

I swear on a stocks of flaming Korans, “The Fly” was about to go short stocks, via a basket of inverse ETF’s, until Guy “Burnt Toast” Adami started with the bear talk on the teevee. No offense to Guy and non-flaming Korans; but I’d rather take stock advice from my local garbage man, than follow that fucker into a trade.

So far, I have no executed any meaningful trades today. I am just, sort of, roaming around, talking to strange people on the telephone, while watching the stand up comedians on CNBC. On the day, I am almost flat, as most of my positions have “swung” back to green, thanks in large part of the cowardice of any and all bearshitters.

With the dollar selling off again, coupled with benign commodity prices, I would not be surprised to see the market do a “full reversal,” dumping the severed heads of short sellers into idle vats of raw sewage.

Guy Adami thinks the market goes lower. He’s on the teeeveee suggesting to sell short JPM. Listen, I have serious reservations following The Great Tanned one into egregious murderholes, designed to snatch the wallets of idiot bearshitters, just prior to getting homo-hammered to death.

Fuck that.

Is it just me, or is EVERYONE with a series 7 license north of Havana bearish on stocks here? I suppose they are guided by the INCREDIBLE-HORRIFIC news of MS, GS, JPM and co. paying back their TARP funds. How fucking dare they!

Then we have S&P downgrade a slew of banks today, due to fears of regulation. Puhlease. Fuck you very much S&P.

For the record, I have been selling out of my winners, while holding losers—a cardinal sin, indeed. Some of my top long positions include FTK, GLW, OVTI, and GME. Additionally, I still own lotto tickets in ENTR, TRID, FNSR, CNXT, ATML and SIFY.

My shorts are limited to minor/legacy positions in FAZ, SRS. However, I was thinking about taking on some new shorts, until burnt toast went on the teeeveee espousing gloom and doom. That doesn’t sit very well with me.

Objectively, the trading action in FAZ, SRS, DUG, ERY and SMN is good. However, before I start slapping people in the face with hot mops, I want to see a little more conviction, from the bears, on this alleged downward move.

Once upon the time, HORATIO CLAWHAMMER blogged here, filling in for “The Fly” or Senor Tropicana, whenever they were out throwing m-80’s at piker brokers on Wall Street. HORATIO was into betting against America and all industry. As a point in fact, after having in depth discussions with MR. CLAWHAMMER, I can tell you, sincerely, he felt the fair value for stocks was “without a doubt, $00.00.”

As it happens, HORATIO was allegedly killed (the body was never recovered), via anvil gone mad, during the GREAT BULL MARKET OF 2009. However, people close to HORATIO tell me “that motherfucker is in fact ALIVE.”

Aside from HORATIO, I’ve been thinking about the market and I might just bet against myself, via tester short sales. After all, I have little to lose throwing on some hedges, since I am already heavily long. Long time readers of my Godly blog know and understand that I am never the quickest out of the gates. However, once I home in on my enemy (enemy being you), I “Tasmanian devil” myself into the winners circle, because I like to win meaningless trophies decorated with fancy fucking ribbons and shit.

In short, maybe I shouldn’t beat the horse so much. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for HORATIO CLAWHAMMER to come out of hiding and throw a few malatov cocktails into the Larry Kudlow nightly circle jerk fest.

Food for thought and I am hungry.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6e01zP_tp94 616 450]

Now you fuckers know why I tease the bears, when the market goes higher. At the first sign of weakness, these apocalypse wishcasters populate the comments section like homeless people on a free crack line.

Where is my line in the sand?

Well, I have a lot of room to be wrong, unlike my idiot ursine followers. I will accept another 5% on the downside, before throwing on a few hedges. It is not important to be right every single day. After all, micro managing a thesis is pointless.

I am amazed by the bullish action in SAY. I thought that company was going “Enron” on shareholders. Perhaps India perceives outright fraud in a different way than us backward western types.

Amidst the Devil Dog action, GS, AAPL, RIMM and GOOG were strong. It is my belief, the market will not break lower, unless the leaders have been routed. Additionally, oil is still strong, while the dollar is weakening again—also bullish for stocks.

Do not expect the bottom to fall out of the market, just because your idiot charts say so. They’ve been proven wrong many, many times, while I systematically bowl on you fuckers.

Top picks: OVTI, GLW

NOTE: I sold out of my DELL position today, as mentioned on The PPT.

I’d be remiss if I did not call you out for being a soulless ghoul of a trader, always shifty with the eyes and quick with the tongue. Is it so bad to endure a few down days, in order to stick to a thesis?

Watching traders, particularly on the internets, reminds me how fucked up American culture is today. You want to eat your cake and you want it now. If, for some odd reason, your serving of cake is delayed, tantrums ensue. While it’s true, some people are motivated by fear, which makes them pursue pussified positions, both in life and trading. It is a fact, most people are just plain greedy, to a degree that it clouds their judgment.

Maybe I am wrong about my short term bullish thesis. Perhaps the market internals will decay, effectively fucking my open positions with clown-like ferocity. But at least I stand for something, unlike most of you.

Today’s dip is a bit disconcerting, especially following yesterday’s 4% thumping. Nonetheless, I have put together a buy list and will begin nibbling shortly.

For starters, I like ERX in the low $30’s, OVTI in the low $10’s, GLW in the low $15’s and CIEN in the high $9’s.