Dollar Slaves Step to the Side

“The Fly” has a prior engagement, so I am the fuck out of here.

I thought the “dollar slaves” could muster the courage to trade against the grain; but they’re not ready yet. Nevertheless, the markets response to dollar strength is relatively muted. As an aside, the people who wear burlap sacks to work sold banks with great vigor, based upon the certainty of dilution, as banks raise capital to get out from under TARP. This is a natural market reaction. Do not read more into it.

As of 3:33pm, most of my stocks are green. Thankfully, the few that are down are not really down at all. They’re just playing around and shit, bobbing as I weave.

Essentially, life is all about kicking your neighbor in the nuts when he least expects it. With that motif in mind, I intend on kicking you square in the nuts when you expect it most.

Top picks: you know what they are, so fuck off.

I sold out of W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] —too stubborn.

I initiated a position in Flowserve Corporation [[FLS]] , buying 2,000 @ $98.80. In addition, I bought 5,000 [[YONG]] @ $8.45, 5,000 ATP Oil & Gas Corporation [[ATPG]] in the $17.80’s, 2,000 Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] in the $65.60’s and 2,000 ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] in the $35.20’s.

Disclaimer: Don’t follow me into these stocks for I am speed chopping carrots, with my balls laid out on the kitchen table.

The dollar is ripping higher today, yet stocks are yawning it off. Is it possible for stocks to rally, as the dollar strengthens? Sure, why the fuck not?

If real growth can take hold in the U.S., the reflation story will take a back seat and equities will trade based on fundamentals again, not some absurd “death to the dollar” scenario. However, I will admit, people are sort of mind fucked when it comes to the dollar/equity relationship, which may initially jar stocks, as the death to the dollar trade unwinds. The dollar carry trade has been ongoing for a very short period of time and will likely be unwound, slowly, overtime. I do not think the dollar is due to spike higher. I am just laying out a scenario where it stops going down, and stocks still go higher, nonetheless.

If this scenario unfolds, the worst possible investment will be gold. It will feel like dot comville, April 2000, for the doom and gloom gold buggers.

With my money, I much rather buy coffee machines, via Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , or something easy like [[HEAT]] and CGG Veritas (ADR) [[CGV]] .

Bottom line: we are running downhill now, without sneaker or socks. This is a long only market and it should be treated as such.

The internet has provided the illusion that you, the retail superstar, enjoy an “even playing field.” You visit yahoo, stocktwits, briefing, and a variety of other sites, thinking “oh, gee, I am now well informed.” When in fact, you are doing nothing more than mirroring another person’s swagger. After reading shit on a screen, you come here to give me advice, as if I need it. Would you fuckers give golf or orgy advice to Tiger Woods? Don’t offer “The Fly” financial advice, for he will spit in your face for doing so.

On this dip, I like ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] and Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] . Or, I want more of the #1 ranked stock on The PPT, and position of mine, ATP Oil & Gas Corporation [[ATPG]] .

Into strength, I like Chinese slavery plays, like [[HEAT]] , [[YONG]] and China Digital TV Holding Co., Ltd. [[STV]] .

Into the end of the fucking year, I am long, without regrets or second guesses. I am long because it is the high probability play. I am long because you are skeptical and because banking coin is in my blood. You can just watch me, while I stack these coins to the roof.

Just in case you are listening to bearish bores, who incessantly flood the market with misinformation, these are the facts:

The banks are not good investments, mainly because they are impaired. Some of them do better than others. However, for the most part, in recent months, they have been a waste of time. With that being said, thanks to a variety of reasons, there is a distinct chance they will explode to the upside shortly, fueled by people who are leaning the wrong way.

Commodity related stocks are trending higher for two reasons: real growth in Asia and dollar weakness. At some point, the dollar will stop going lower, which will kneecap the price of gold. However, if growth continues to strengthen, industrial commodities will continue to be bought in size.

Technology stocks have led the way higher, during this recent bull stampede. In total, corporations have more than $800 billion in cash, which can be used for mergers and acquisitions, dividends, buybacks or rainy day accounts. It is my belief, at the moment, we will see m&a activity explode into mid 2010, offering a new catalyst for higher stocks.

Frankly, you need to understand, what worked yesterday may not work tomorrow. Basing your investment philosophy around the dollar is stupid. Granted, it has been an effective indicator, especially over the last 6 months or so. However, over time, stocks decouple from currencies and trade on fundamentals.

If you are wondering what will drive stocks higher over the next two weeks, I will tell you: Santa Claus/end of year window dressing. If you are curious about what can drive equities higher over the next three months, I will tell you: m&a activity, share buybacks and continued improvement in the economy, including employment. If you want a 6-12 mo prediction, go visit a fucking psychic; because that shit is all guess work.

Fun Fact, courtesy of JPM: Out of the last 19 bull markets lasting 9 months or more, 95% of them continued to trade higher over the next 12 months.

Some of you little shit-fuckers are misconstruing “Holiday Fly’s” jovial demeanor as a weakness. As Fly runs around town, playing Santa Claus for his immediate family, you little pricks are getting uppity. Let me tell you something now: I will rip out your fucking livers and eat them (pate) for breakfast. I will have your mustache punched off and your kidney’s donated to some illegal Mexican in California. Don’t fuck with me: you have been warned.

Speaking of being warned, I told you grizzle eating motherfuckers this market was going “BROKEN ROBOT” into the New Year. SHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh, don’t tell anyone; but we’re going to pole vault into 2010, like racing camels in the hot desert sun running towards a mirage.

By the way, I defeated Cramer with my Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] call. And, I will vanquish all of you clowns who are betting against me in Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] .

Top picks: Sears Holdings Corporation [[SHLD]] , Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]]

There is no need to brag any longer. The wins keep rolling in and the glory, well, who needs it?

Take a look at this:

POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , Sears Holdings Corporation [[SHLD]] , [[CBD]] , [[MWW]] , Vimpel-Communications (ADR) [[VIP]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] , CGG Veritas (ADR) [[CGV]] , Mechel OAO (ADR) [[MTL]] , ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] , Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] ,  SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , ATP Oil & Gas Corporation [[ATPG]] , Masco Corporation [[MAS]], U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] and [[HEAT]] .

Do you see that shit? Yeah, I own all of them.

See pal, that’s the type of day I am having, how about you?

Hey, don’t hate on me. It’s not like I don’t warn you and disclose all of my buys and sells. You fuckers just think you are better than me. When reality hits, like a scorned old maid in her late 40’s, you get all flustered and shit, lashing out at the guy in the time machine. Instead of hating on me, why don’t you shoot yourself in the face with a howitzer?

The Exxon Mobil Corporation [[XOM]] for XTO Energy Inc. [[XTO]] deal is incredibly bullish for oil and gas stocks and m&a in general. The fees are back and the investment banks are cool again. Nonetheless, I have no interest in buying bank stocks.

For the remainder of the day, the market will induce strokes and seizures in people who have large short positions.

Santa Claus is coming, motherfuckers.

Fucking Morons, Asshats of the Decade, 2000-present

It’s that time of the decade again: iBC presents “The Asshat of the Decade Award.”

I know some of you republican motherfuckers will point fingers at the democrat cocksuckers (pun intended!), regarding the misery that was inflicted on this fat nation and who is to blame—over the past 10 years. From banking deregulation, y2k asshattery to bailouts and absurd military tactics, this country is being led by a multitude of asshats, who must find pleasure in ruining this nation, mainly for shits and gay giggles.

The disaster, better known as “the stock market,” has fucked up America’s mojo over the past 10 years, thanks to a variety of bubbles, coupled with absolute lunatic fringe spending sprees by our elected officials. It is emblematic of how retarded this country has become, no offense to firemen of course.

Many of you will argue that the “Asshat of the Decade Award” should go to a single man/woman, like George Bush, Greenspan, O’bama or even Barney Frank. However, taking a step back and looking at the whole “pastiche,” I can honestly say those assholes fucked us up something awful AS A TEAM!! Great fucking job bozos. My family and I are looking forward to paying another 10 years of taxes to support this bullshit brand of “capitalism,” that has perversely  ricocheted around the world like a fucking plague attached to ping-pongs.

Everything Congress touches turns to shit AND MORE (if that makes any sense to you, GOOD LUCK).

It’s funny to see some of you monkeys argue for one party over another, as if it made a difference. It’s like one big circus act, with the American people (dressed as clowns) sitting in fun house styled dunk tanks— as their elected officials stuff their fat fucking faces with sausage and pepper heroes— tossing baseballs at them. The only difference between a whimsical carnival and the game Congress plays is: the carnival clown gets back up on the bench after being dunked. On the other hand, we get swallowed whole by gay sharks, dressed in Armani suits, smoking filter-less cigarettes covered in asbestos, sipping on over sized cups of Venti Mocha Frappachinos.

Fuck you very much Congress and congratulations for winning the Asshat of the Decade Award; you most certainly have earned it!

Support your country: go long dollars.

Actually, you can go long dollars; I will continue to buy other things, like coffee, oil/natty and Chinese slavery plays.

Asshat of the Decade Award coming soon to a blog near you.

With 2009 winding down and CNBC reminiscing over “The Bubble Decade,” I thought it would be helpful to some of you new-jacks to understand what it was like to be part of “A Decade for Dicks.”

In the late 1990’s, my business started to take-off. I was an early investor in a lot of internet stocks and the future looked bright. I had the energy of a coked out race horse and the stock market was my track. By late 1999, the market had gone fucking bananas. During that time, if your company announced that it had launched a website—just a fucking web address—that news would buoy shares anywhere from 10-100%—in a single day. Back then, before trading was done on the internet, my trades had to be submitted via old school order tickets. My partner and I would spend hours just filling out those fucking stupid tickets, in anticipation of monster runs in the market. Needless to say, our hands hurt from writing so much, as stocks—literally—disregarded all laws of reason and began to trade on sheer insanity.

I couldn’t go to lunch, from 1999-2001, for a variety of reasons. During the boom, going to lunch meant missing out on killer trades. I’m not talking 100,000 shares up a buck. Stocks sprinted back then. Stocks like CMGI, Inc. [[CMGI]] and VERT, both positions of mine back then, went up 100’s of points inside of a few short months. I remember buying QUALCOMM, Inc. [[QCOM]] at $1,000 per share, just before their odd-ball stock split. Whenever a stock was mentioned on CNBC, with regards to their internet exposure, that fucking stock took off. There was so many different ways to skin the cat. If you were a trader/broker/investor back then and missed out, you should shoot yourself in the face with a fucking grenade launcher, right now.

However, like everything in life, all good things end badly. When the bubble popped in 2000, my face was lit aflame; and as a result, I lost millions. Personally, I was losing like 10k per hour. The margin clerk was my mortal enemy, due to her insistence that I sell out by 2:30pm, or chalk up some dough. Fucking bitch. The problem that I had, not too uncommon with my stubborn personality type, was a severe case of hubris. I could not accept the fact that I was on the losing end of so many trades. When the internet bubble popped, it fucking popped bad, taking out an entire class of assholes with internet dreams—to the woodshed— AND MORE. All of the stocks that were trading at $200+ came crashing down to fucking zero, without rest. It was surreal.

One of my favorite memories was cutting a large personal check for a margin call at 11:00am, only to see it vanish by 4:00. Easy come, easy go.

I was absolutely staggered by the whole experience. After the 9/11 induced nosedive, I pledged to NEVER buy a Nasdaq stock again, as it was my belief that tickers with more than 3 letters represented evil. The market was so bad; it was almost comical. My friends and I would just leave the office in disgust, in favor of beers and chicken wings, on many occasions.

Shortly after, I began rebuilding my business, based around distressed debt and preferred bank shares. It was a boring way of life; but it gave me peace of mind. When the market bottomed in late 2002, I had a war chest built up in ultra-conservative bonds and preferred securities. I had to make a massive adjustment out of old man investments, back into the fire aka “technology stocks.”

Despite pledging to “NEVER buy Nasdaq stocks again,” by mid 2003, I was knee deep in the shit, long Amkor Technology, Inc. [[AMKR]] , MEMC Electronic Materials, Inc. [[WFR]] and Broadcom Corporation [[BRCM]] in size. Stocks like Nortel, which was priced for bankruptcy in 2002, took off like gangbusters in 2003, making lucky investors fortunes in the process. Thanks to the Federal Reserve pumping liquidity into the markets, stocks were back in play again. However, underneath the surface, another bubble was brewing—this time in housing.

From 2004 to 2007, there was a relative calm in the markets. A lot of people thought we were experiencing some sort of “economic Renaissance” or a “Goldilocks economy,” when in fact it was all bullshit. Because of my personal wealth destruction in 2000-2001, when the real estate bubble popped in late 2007-early 2008, Senor Tropicana was prepared, as you well know. In 2008, I sold short just about every investment bank and every regional bank located in California—all documented here on the site. Subsequently, I cleaned house.

The lesson to be learned from this decade is: we are all dicks. Nothing will change, because greed will never dissipate. I am cynical for a reason, stemming from my lack of faith in human emotions, which is why I am S.A.M. (space alien magician). I see people making the same errors today that were concocted 10 years ago. Small start-ups are being built to flip, instead of operating as a profitable businesses, etc.

Believe you me, over the next 10 years, we will be tricked into believing some sort of lie. We will all buy into an asset class or an investment theme, thinking “this time is different”; but it always ends the same.

Tread carefully.