Prepare for Drama

Oh no, GDP came in a bit lighter than expected. Couple that with the fact that everything is doomed, the market might trade down by 50 points today. I am sure Ben Bernanke is sitting in his living room, in a frenzy, watching CNBC and saying “what in the world am I going to do now?”

In all seriousness, a good 5% pullback would be healthy for the market in order to consolidate recent gains and flush out the weaker hands. That will give the true buyers a chance to get in at respectable levels. We all want to own FOSL, CLF and other such names, but lower.

Even though I have only 15% of my assets in cash and I am long a variety of high beta, cocaine fueled names; I am prepared to invest every single cent, AND MORE. I am prepared to leverage up, whilst eating deep fried Big Mac sandwiches, drunk off southern moonshine.

Looking at the SBUX numbers, I am impressed with their K-Cup sales of $100 million in two months. Of course this is the beginning of their K-Cup excursion, which might have been the reason for a little overzealousness. However, it’s impressive nonetheless, especially since they hardly marketed their K-Cups due to supply constraints. This is a small aspect of GMCR’s business but may be the tell or the clue that speaks to a bigger story. I am becoming increasingly positive on GMCR sub $50.

In the meantime, it’s a rainy Friday morning and the market is soft like tits. I will be buying dips.

Longs enjoyed clawhammers to the skeleton today, as the market reversed sharply lower from its highs. Here in the whimsical world that is “The Fly”, I was obliterated in MWW and took a punch with SODA. But my losses were completely offset by gains in FSLR, DMND, GSVC and SFLY. I realize you are all betting against me and pray to half-horsed demons to bring about my downfall; but I am not like you. My inventory runs deep and my holdings are pristine.

As of late, I’ve been getting quizzed by some of the mezzo cito about my holdings, followed up with lowly remarks. I post every single buy and sell here and my portfolio, in its entirety, is listed inside The PPT–accompanied by time stamped transactions–for the explicit purposes of transparency. If you are unable to read every single post on this place of industry, do not feel it to be your right to question what I am doing. Always know, “The Fly” runs hot, very, very hot. Things worthwhile today might be discarded tomorrow. In my opinion, stocks are nothing more than conduits to make money on directional trades, long or short.

We should trade lower; but we will likely trade up. The Federal Reserve is very much interested in reflating until they can reflate no more.

As you devour healthy deep fried hamburgers and slices of breaded pizza, be cognizant of the Clam, for he is bearded and wins often.

I am holding this “Monsta” only because the purblind CEO made me laugh, through his ignorance on the conference call, but only for a day. I will likely cut losses tomorrow. I was up on the position going into today, so the losses will not be more than 11%–unless it follows through tomorrow.

Now I sold out of DECK this morning, which is something I didn’t want to do. I believe the analysts could be wrong on this name, with their bearish sentiments due to the warmer weather. However, my appetite for earnings plays has waned, considerably, following the MWW de-cocking. DECK was a large position and it went to cash, at a 10% loss.

With some of the proceeds, I tripled my SFLY position, for a squeeze play. And, as it is my custom to do so, I averaged up in DMND and down in GSVC. If you are new to the hallowed halls of iBC, you should become aware to the fact that only GSVC withstands my impulses. I’ve held it through thick and thin and have remained a loyal servant to its distinct vagaries.

Having said that, the market is overheated and poised to pullback. Perhaps if I keep saying that, it might come to fruition. We’ve had numerous chances to correct, but to no avail. The market is being operated by viagra induced baboons.I would not be surprised to see us trade lower, only to trap overzealous shorts with the introduction of the ominous Black Flag.

Top picks: SFLY, FSLR, DMND

I tripled my position in SFLY and added to both DMND and GSVC.

I sold out of DECK.

I am listening to the CEO of MWW and he sounds like some jerkoff I used to avoid when I lived in Brooklyn. Without a doubt, he is an idiot of the first order. I can’t believe I am caught long this stock into earnings. They missed eps and guided lower. I will most likely sell it, in order to move on.

Playing earnings can be gratifying, only if you are exactly right. I am sure NFLX longs are pleased today. But let’s face it, buying stocks ahead of earnings is gambling. I swear, listening to this guy makes me sick. “How ya doin. This is some guy ovah at Monsta and our earnings sucked cock. Nevertheless, I’m gonna make money, incrementally, as this economies gets betters. Also, we’re doin shit in Brazil and China and with governments, globally–so fuck you, okay?”

Ughhh.

Futures are up and my losses should be offset by my other positions. Maybe, just maybe, MWW is cheap enough to hold, with the hopes that someone will buy them and put this jackoff CEO out of his “fuckings miseries.”

More importantly, I have nuts to roast today, via DMDN. I am looking at a few new stocks, but would prefer to buy them AFTER a dip. I am bullish and love what the market is doing; but let’s face it, this is madness. The market will correct, as it always does. It always feels orgasmic just before death.

Remember that, fuck-face.

Gangs of baboons, roaming the streets of Wall, with erect penises in hand are running the market now. Forget about Goldman and Blackrock, it’s the baboons who are running shit now. They are fueled by POMO, Federal open market operations, much to your chagrin.

Many thought America was finished because the Greeks couldn’t pay their bills and the Italians were in too deep. The truth is, America is not back because we never went anywhere. Fuck China and their accounting scandals. We have real wealth here, undersigned by the Department of Defense (DOD), for the explicit purposes of growth. Obama was not fucking around when he told you “shit is off the hook here” with regards to the economy.

Sit back, relax, and smoke a few dozen menthol cigarettes. There’s lots of money to be made in 2012 and Le Fly is gonna lead from the front.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caz_J71yDEA&list=FLEIciWvVLqrS9jdkxpjKL9A&feature=mh_lolz

TO THE CONTRARY of what you believed would occur today, “The Fly” arrested the tape and fucking killed it. You thought all I had going for me was my nuts, via DMND. Wake the fuck up from your Mcgriddle induced coma and smell the green mountains. I am up 1.78% as you read this, SPEARHEADED by DECK, DMND, FSLR, SFLY, GSVC and SODA. I have earnings on deck with MWW and I’m scowling at you fuckers whilst eating chicken sushi atop powdered doughnuts.

Listening to my auditors droll on with prolixity about how most of you are not in compliance with iBC’s new “accredited investor” standard sapped the energy out of me.

This shit has been going on all day.

My auditors will execute 1,286 bannings today from the House of iBankCoin. Sadly, many of you, simply, aren’t qualified to read the scriptures published here.

Moving on.

I’m in buy mode for GSVC. Watch that fucker spiral higher ahead of the FBOOK ipo. Watch it go.

From time to time, I forget where I am, blogging here at iBankCoin, discussing stocks and such. After years of curating the readership through indiscriminate bannings and mistreatment of older folks, one would imagine a more sophisticated crowd might dwell here. Quite the contrary.

The vast majority of you men are of a lower order, fit for the semen infested hotels of Atlantic City, shoveling McDonlad’s fine cuisine into your fat heads.  Soda pop is the preferred beverage here at iBC, topped off with a little butter. One should not try to teach the unwashed and the arcane, for it is unbecoming of a gentleman. Therefore, I offer you 10,000 apologies and a nice warm bacon sausage mcgriddle as a gift, for gravely misjudging my audience.

You aren’t ready. You’re all too fat.

As of now, “The Fly” is drinking whiskey for breakfast, whilst gobbling down a rare steak–with his bare hands. He will be buying stocks this morning, on EXTREME MARGIN, and voting for Bob Dole this election. Over the course of today, I intend to blow up three mailboxes with m-80’s and slap nine servants with open handed slices of pizza, extra gravy. By the close of trading, I will be riding around in Manhattan, like a fucking madman, in my calash, in search of a good meal.

I will make money today, whether you like it or not. As a fact, your opinions mean absolutely nothing to me and I relish the day when you stop coming to iBC. Plainly, the working class are no longer welcomed here at iBC. I am very sorry to disinvite you, all of a sudden, but it must be done.

Starting immediately, I am having my staff form a “working group” aka “Task force unit” that will delve into the tax receipts of the readers of this site, exercising the “right to information act”. Anyone with less than 200k in annual income or net worth less than $1 million will be prohibited from viewing iBC, as it is my right to do so.

You must be an accredited investor to read iBC.

Off to punch people into idle NYC manholes.

Apple shit on shorts in haunting after-hours trading. It’s almost as if Steve Jobs came back to mudstomp shorts, one last time, before chilling out in some heavenly carrot farm. Apple derivative plays will shred bears tomorrow, equal only to the horrors of how the infamous chicken Mcnugget is fashioned.

Chickens are captured and punched in the face. Their legs are tied and beaks snapped off by line workers. Then they are shoved– alive– into filthy large “Mcnugget machines”, where they are turned into paste. The paste is collected by employees of McDonald’s, who happen to be goblins living off minimum wage, and first placed plainly into cardboard boxes, then into big plastic bags. The plastic bags are then tossed onto conveyor belts, where they gloomily travel under dimly lit halogen lamps, often flickering and pestered by vermin, then, finally, dropped into boiling water. While boiling, employees of the McDonald’s fish out the bags with grotesquely large nets, and placed onto metal tables– where other Mcdonald’s employees cut them open with knives.

MCNUGGET MACHINE

The cooked meat is rolled and hand inspected for loose feathers or pieces of beak, then sent merrily onto another conveyor belt to be breaded, “spiced” and shaped. After the meat is freeze dried and packaged, deviant truck drivers grab them and throw them violently onto trucks to be delivered to your local McDonald’s.

THAT’S WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TO THE FUCKING SHORTS TOMORROW.