Beast Mode

Nothing can stop stocks from edging higher, so I will not bother to highlight potential risks. At this stage, it’s ridiculous.

Apple is God’s stock and the market is the sandbox of generous Lords, whose sole purpose on this planet is to enrich the plebeians with electrifying stock market gains.

I too would like a piece of that pie. I intend to take great big bites out of it, with animalistic violence.

Whether or not we are heading for a correction is immaterial to me, at this point. The laws of gravity do not apply to equities. They are sublime, everything that is fair and equitable in this world. I will take it upon myself to buy a great deal of stocks today, even though I will be doing so against my better judgment.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gIynQPc-JA&feature=youtu.be 603 500]

Directed and produced by iBankCoin’s IT dept.

Cropped from the direct descent of actual leprechauns in Ireland, possessors of great wealth and fortune, it is my birthright to drink excessively today, as well as tomorrow. The House of Fly is dressed in green and the pantries are well stocked with stout, corned beef, potatoes and cabbage.

Dare I say, you don’t have to be Irish to enjoy this wonderful holiday. Immerse yourself in the splendour that is the culture of Ireland; get drunk and say something stupid.

All you other fuckers can go, naturally, fuck yourselves.

Cheers.

I started a long term position in YELP.

NOTE: This is one of three companies that I feel can be “the next big thing.”

I take a single day off to relax, clear my mind, spending my time and money at the fucking circus, and the great halls of iBankCoin get hijacked by a fucking Deejay, turning my place of prosper into a degenerate graveyard for the ill humored.

Effective immediately, all iBC personal employed in the IT department will cease and desist from interfering with God’s work here.

As you can see, most of the Costanza stocks that I chose last night are up sharply today. However, I forgot to mention one group: the fucking shippers. Everyone needs the boats to ship all of that shit back and forth between China and San Fransicko, regardless of a Chinese slowdown. Don’t you fucking see what’s going on here? Just do the opposite of what makes sense and you will become billionaires in no time.

Who needs boats when China is slowing?

We don’t.

But for the love of midgets in cannons, the stocks should trade UP on that news. Shares of FRO, OSG, TNK, TNP, FREE, just to name a few, have gone parabolic. I have a few that may run next, but will reserve suchness for the great domain that is The PPT, for now. It’s not like Umpire Fly will ever buy one; God forbid I invest money and lose it. My Lord, the horror and shame that would befall the residence of “The Fly.” I would be forced to live out the rest of my days like a vagabond.

Fuck it. Who am I kidding, worrying about some sort of Chinese implosion. There is no such thing as implosion, just temporary stalemates. There is a certain subset of stocks that have been underperforming because of concerns over China. Plainly, after consuming 20 beers, I can see that my thinking is entirely irrational.

Lo and behold, here is, yet another, fucking watchlist that I’ve managed to conjure up. After all, I am all but unemployed now, professional blogger of sorts, umpire of the markets, slave to my wife and kids.

Here are stocks that have underperformed over the past 3 months, within the Industrial/Basic Material complex.

PCX -24%
XCO -24%
CRR -14%
ANR -13%
CNX -11%
ACI -11%
JRCC -10%
BTU -3%
CRS +3.6%
FCX +4.6%
CENX +5%
PKX +7%
TC +7%
TCK +7%
AKS +8.5%
IPI +9%

Basically, this is the Costanza trade, buying up anything that offers an iota of uncertainty on a macro-scale. Sure, the above companies are all fucked; but that shouldn’t get in the way of a good ‘rip your fucking eyeballs out like a muppet’ rally.

Pardon this blog post, as it will contain the harshest of verbiage and depict great acts of physical and mental violence.

The market is cheap because prices are going up. When prices were going down, stocks were expensive. When SHLD was going out of business, one month ago, the stock was expensive. Now that it has doubled in price, it is cheap. Apple is going to double in value because the fucking innovator of the company is dead and he was holding them back all along. Plus, Tim Cook is in possession of ‘Zombie Steve’ and he knows everything Jobs knew.

The fatness of America has no end, as demonstrated by the share price of CMG. And, let’s not forget, America loves a great fucking deal, via PCLN, even though the company specializes in surprise attacks on its users, sending them to “3 star” hotels rendered inhospitable to normal, decent, human beings.

The crack addict analyst at JPM said China is most certainly undergoing a hard landing. Well, that news is good for stocks, and Apple, because it means more free money. Can you imagine all of the fucking opportunities that will arise once Chinese counterfeit yuan hits the world stage?!? For the love of Christ on Xmas, it will be sublime. Those accounting fraud fuckers will be hoarding more oil, gold, copper and rare earths than ever before. Hell, the price of oil will likely hit $400 per barrel– once China starts their own version of QE.

All of this shit, AND MORE, means we have “no choice” but to buy stocks because bonds aren’t any good. We’ve all witnessed how terrible it is to be a Greek debt owner. For all I know, next time, it could be my head in the basket, long treasuries or other such instruments. I’d much rather keep my money parked in consumer sensitive stocks because when all of the QE hits the markets and commodities spike like fuck, we’re all gonna be rich somehow.

Also, please do not forget, this is an election year and stocks can’t trade down during an election year. This is biblical fact. If you ask me why stocks can’t trade down during an election year, I will just dismiss your question and say “they never do,” equal to the yankees making the playoffs on an annual basis.

ISRG will never trade lower again because we’re going to fire all of our domestic surgeons (another plus for the labor market) and have some Indian fuckers “do surgery” from 10,000 miles away, using “the robot arm.” God forbid they have a power outage in Mumbai…

At the end of the day, everything will trade up, with exception to coal and natural gas. I will explain this to you very simply.

Coal is going down because China is crashing, as we mentioned before. With China heading towards a deep depression, steel demand is nil, therefore, eliminating the need for met coal. As a result, coal stocks suck. On top of that, natural gas is sooooo cheap, causing our utilities to cease buying coal in favor for natural gas.

Why isn’t natural gas benefitting from this classic supply and demand divergence?

Well, I will have you know, we have RECORD amounts of natty and it will never trade up because, well, ummm, we keep drilling for it.

You ponder, “how can we keep drilling for something as it declines in value? And if we are still doing it, why?”

Well, to answer that question I will tell you that natural gas is the future and it is as American as apple pie, with a little fracking juice on top. The drillers are finding more natty everyday because it is going to be in all of our trucks soon.

You ponder “if this is the case, why hasn’t the price of natty traded up, even a little? And, when do you think we will have natural gas powered trucks?”

You are one tough interviewer, I must say. From what I gather, if Obama gets elected, then and only then will trucks run on natty. The other fuckers want to drill for oil inside of your reservoirs, pollute the planet and shit.

I was having an interesting discussion the other day about how I sold CMG, AAPL, MNST, BWLD, and a host of others, at much lower prices. I don’t get mad about missing out because I know there are always new winners to be had, a chance to get it right. Before the discussion moved into the realm of outright vagrancy, we talked about some names worth mentioning.

Clearly, the next big thing was AAPL, CMG, PCLN, LULU, ISRG, PNRA, AZO, CRM, WFM, GMCR, NEU, SAM gold/silver etc. The question is, what’s next?

Will DDD move into the sex industry, allowing perverts to “print” dildos at home, sending the stock to a gazillion? Will PNRA continue to trail blaze higher, just like CMG? Will natural gas trucks become a reality, sending shares of CLNE much higher? Will CREE finally make it big in LED? Or, will NFLX get back on track and finish Blockbuster?

If I had to choose three companies that have the potential to become mega-trends, I’d pick TEA, YELP and TRIP. When I think about all of the current super-trends, the common denominator is I use them all. I can’t live without my Apple products and find myself eating at CMG, whenever given the chance. When I was an avid coffee drinker, I loved GMCR. And, ever since I started to eat healthy, I’ve been shopping at WFM.

Well, I don’t book hotel or restaurant reservations without the help of TRIP and YELP. And, ever since I switched over to consuming tea over coffee, for health benefits, I get my fix from TEA.

What super-trends do you see coming in the not-so-distant future? Or do you think this is all HORSESHIT and the next big trend is to bet against it all via FAZ, TZA and VXX?

How high can Apple go? As high as possible because there are no limitations to the skill-set that Tim Cook brings to the table.

Some stocks dropped today and it was looking dicey for a brief moment, or two; but at the end of the day (literally), the market won again. Granted, precious metals are sloppier than pig-shit and munis, treasuries and corporate bonds are knifing lower, as the dollar increases; but no one gives a fuck. All of these dislocations point to a sea-change in the matrix, a flight to cash, if I might be sold bold.

Have a look at EIM and LQD for reference.

I am holding onto my sanity by a thread. I have big, huffy and puffy, watchlists, at my disposal, awaiting my coin. Instead, I sold out of ALJ (dog!) and added to my VXX tits because I am a glutton for pain.

At the close of trade, I am up 14.5% for the year, 75% cash, down 10.2% on my VXX tits holdings.

So I am on the phone with a friend, discussing stocks and things of that nature. I pointed to the intra-day moves in AKS and X and how it would buoy the entire steel sector, with RS being my top pick. After all, it makes so much sense to see met coal producers dive lower, while steel makers shoot through the fucking roof. Shortly thereafter, RS spiked about $1, to new highs. I then pointed to shares of RBCN, pressing higher, only because it is a stupid company.

We laughed and mocked AAPL and MTW, as well as TEX, seeing their share prices spring-shoot higher. Simultaneously, I mocked my cash position and the dust it has collected in recent weeks, exclaiming to be an “umpire of the market, a man who calls balls and strikes, but never picks up the bat.”

This whole market has a very singular feel to it. It just so happens that the longer one stays out, the more one believes, with certainty, that the market is cursed. The very idea of top ticking the market, just like 2011, is to be abhorred.

This will all end with an explosion of emotions, leading to my reentry into the market, with grandiose scale in hazard. However, I am not at that stage, just yet, feeling deeply entrenched in my protective layers, immersed underneath the degenerate grounds of humanity.

On a longer term scale, I feel shares of GLW can only trade higher. And, I am looking at gold and silver stocks, yet again. The risk on market is forcing risk off instruments lower, such as gold, silver and treasuries. Until the worm turns, the vagrancy rules the roost!

UPDATE: I sold out of ALJ and added to VXX.