18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Many of you obsess over stocks– in never ending quests to get rich or rich-er. No matter how much money you possess, you could always have more–which drives men to do outlandish things. I’ve satisfied myself with having enough, requiring only the smallest of luxuries, delicacies from the east and pomp from the west.
Now to my point. I do not wear shorts, ever; because gentlemen wear pants, high quality, in the most supercilious of ways. Shorts are for children or field workers, who enjoy having their calves exposed to the caprices of vermin. I hope you understand what I am saying to you and take notice, for if you are above the age of 25 and still venture outside with knees exposed; you’re a jackass– underserving of my attention and most certainly my money.
I started a position in MRVL and added to my VHC position.
There is a great deal of money, under my direct supervision, invested into this market. As long as bonds sell off, I am content with being overweight. As a matter of fact, I am on the verge of making a rather large bet, one that will shape the direction of my year.
Into the bell, I am up a little bit more than 1%, eagerly awaiting the earnings of CPST (my micro-cap lotto play).
The HMS “Fly Will Kill You, Bitch” is in the process of making a grande bet. It’s a bet, no matter how well sourced the research is, with regards to market reaction. Meaning: even if you knew what tomorrow’s news paper will say, there is no guarantee how the market will interpret said news. Nevertheless, it’s time for Le Fly to take a stab, man up, and hit for the fences.
I’ve been ebbing between small gains and losses, ever since my YELP triumph. That victory got me back in the game; but I haven’t done much to advance my cause since then.
With year to date gains over 20% and 15% of my assets in cash, I am preparing (BEHOLD!) to get aggressive and get long a name into earnings.
In other news, I sold out of JACK, as it did nothing on good earnings. I don’t like that shit.
I know you see YELP screaming higher, very gallantly, on a daily basis. I had ample opportunity to get in below $20, after selling my position north of $25; but I chose not to play the earnings game. Looking at the stock up here bothers me, sort of like a fly hovering nearby as you eat a plate of seafood; but I will not lament over it.
I have no regrets because my next pick will be even better than the last. That’s how I deal with missed opportunities. You should do the same, live in the present and quit feeling sorry for yourselves.
VHC is rebounding, following yesterday’s debacle. I will not get sucked into blaming “those dastardly” short sellers for everything. I mean, come on with that shit already.
JACK ended up being a total non-event, after Reuters flubbed the earnings news release last night. The truth is, JACK beat and guided up. Nevertheless, the stock isn’t moving.
With TLT trading lower, again, I am a bull in this market. I am ignoring seasonality in favor of the realities on the ground. Economically sensitive names, like MTW, are going higher. That bodes extremely well for the tone and tenor of this tape. I am long until it stops working.
After the bell, JACK is due to report earnings. It can go either way. On one hand, their murder burger division may follow along the road to riches that SONC traveled on. However, the other road may lead it to a dark Mexican city, the same path traveled by CMG, and get eaten by cartel sewer rats.
To be frank, I have no idea how it will play out. I leave it to the Gods, to either smile upon me or smite me into embarrassment.
I look at JACK in the Box and I wind it up. When the JACK pops out tonight, it will either knife me in the face, or bestow great treasures to me. There will be no middle ground. By tonight I will either be a giant JACKASS or I will be swimming in a Knight Capital-esque JACKPOT.
Separately, the market is flat; but I am getting absolutely poleaxed into submission. My boat had small holes in it earlier, superficial in nature and substance. I opted to ignore them and eat sandwiches instead. Now those small, baby bitch, holes have grown in size and threaten to capsize the HMS Fly Will Fuck Your Shit Up battleship. At the present, despite my 15% cash position, I am down 1.6% for the day, led by asshole action in VHC, TEA, EXK, DECK and CTRP.
I’m having my cock-gobbled off by killer Turkeys. There are zombies everywhere and I don’t have any weapons to defend myself with, only the shards from my own broken bones. If need be, I will snap my arm off and use the shard to impale invading zombies. However, I am hoping to make it out of this fucking rakish city with limbs intact.
Calming down, thinking clearly, I have another play setting up, something that may offer significant upside, soon to be revealed upon confirmation by the celestial overlords.
Until then, I’m all about that JACK-ass lifestyle.
I’ve discussed this numerous times with you: the market is doing the opposite of what it is supposed to do: Costanza style. We all know the economy doesn’t merit a rising market. But there are so many vermin out there, roaches to be stepped on, shorting stocks without thinking.
Early this morning my twitter stream was littered with small men discussing the great decline that was to come. Yet here we are, in the latter part of the afternoon, melting up. I do not take solace in being correct, only in seeing the dissolution of those opposed to my culture.
Having said that, I am experiencing a draw-down of 0.4%, giving up early gains under a mini-barrage of sell orders. Shares of TEA, VHC, CTRP, DECK, EL and JACK are lower, but nothing too severe. I am keeping a keen eye on my holdings and have declared today to be “sandwich day,” a day in which I do nothing–exercising the mind to partake in riddles and puzzles instead of financial concerns. I’ve been over-trading, making mountains out of mole hills. Just because your stocks look like shit today, doesn’t mean they can’t boot stomp higher tomorrow. Look to JVA and GMCR as examples.
I am looking forward to CPST earnings tomorrow. I sense the company is on the verge of something significant and will hold my million share position into the fire. At the time of this post, EXK was my largest position.
Just a quick thought here, regarding the generous folks over at Goldman Ballsachs.
How sad is it for them to take on a $440 million portfolio of appreciating stocks from Knight Capital? It’s like me paying someone to own my house, into a rising housing market.
The net result: KCG drops from $11 to $3 and GS rises.
Fat faced Americans opted to shovel burritos into their pie holes instead of MCD “murder-burgers” and now you’re all bearish about the economy? You people, from the world of twitter, make me chuckle. I do not laugh, ever. However, I will chuckle every so often, when the occasion calls for it.
You’ve been taught some valuable lessons in recent weeks, yet have learned nothing. You see a little morning weakness and take that as your cue to jump into the FAZmobile, speeding recklessly down memory lane. You might as well douse your blouses with a fire accelerant and jump into a lit fireplace, wrapped in burlap.
BEHOLD: you’re all going to be fucked up in short order.
This market is about central banks, free money and corruption on a monumental scale. Since when do we, the people of the internet, care about the spending habits of the obese?
Weakness will be met with buying. Go eat a sandwich.
Some of you have queried “now that PCLN is down largess, will the market follow suit?”
The answer to that question, AND MORE, is no.
There will be pit-stops along the way, haters in the crowd throwing mashed potatoes at the long only crowd. But rest assured, this motherfucker is going to 15,000 by year end. At that moment of triumph, “The Fly” will be celebrating, magnificently, dressed in a “Devils cape,” brimmed out with gold and rubies. He will use magical arts to distract those interested in stopping his decadence. Hedonism, for lack of a better word, will reign supreme in the new gilded era of Obamanomics, part 2.
As an aside, I’ve been developing DDOS bomb attacks to strike at the servers of my enemies. We will dispatch your third tier, lower level, outfit into oblivion.
The perverts over at Seeking Alpha published another hit piece on VHC, out of desperation and despair. I spoke to an expert and he said to meet “this fucking rubbish with buy orders.” They (the dastardly shorts) need to break VHC here because the pendulum has swung. Without a doubt in my mind, they are part and parcel of an organized crime ring, centered around bringing down the shares. Naturally, nothing is written in stone and VHC might end up being a loser; but there is nothing benevolent about Seeking Alpha’s “research.” Trust in that.
Should the stock hold its gain here, I gather it will get ugly for those who are relying upon this piece for respite. Next thing you know, Herb Greenberg steps to the plate.
Moving on, I bought DECK off the FOSL numbers. Apples and oranges, I know. However, valuation is compressed and any upside in the earnings will lead to a fierce rally.
I am fully invested, with just 15% of my assets in cash. My favorite picks here are VHC, EL, TEA and CTRP.
