18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,585 Blog Posts

Infuriated By Soil

I bought the house I live in last year, moving to the Raleigh area about 4 years ago from a lifetime in the north. I’ve always enjoyed landscaping and cultivating a nice lawn — because that’s what human beings like to do. This autumn I became obsessed with the fucking lawn and the amount of weeds in it — so I bought about 2,000lbs of compost, top, and peat moss and pulled up the old grass that was festooned with every varietal of weed you could imagine.

I did this at some expense and great physical toil — at a time while nursing a torn ACL from a fucking 10 min pickle ball match gone awry. At any rate, the new grass has since grown in and much to my chagrin — the local fuck who sold me their “unique blend” of grass also included weeds. These are new weeds, never seen on this bastard lawn. On top of that, I just bought a Japanese Maple and attempted to plant it — but incredibly could not find a spot in the lawn that wasn’t built upon bedrock. I am on a bit of a hill and I suppose the builders said “fuck it” when they constructed this and simply placed the lawn on top of the rock, about 5 inches down.

This leads me to my next conclusion about the grass: the shallow roots, due to the rock, are causing it to burn and permit weeds to thrive. The only solution is to build up, which means I’ll need to slowly increase the top soil about 5 inches over the next 3 years. I could do it all at once, but then I’d have to kill the fucking grass again.

On the issue of the Maple, I ended up digging an incredibly hard fought hole on a hill with arid/dead soil. I had to displace roots and rocks 3x the size needed and replace it with high quality soil before planting.

As you can see, I haven’t given a fuck about the market in several hours. I’ll get a cup of coffee now and sit down to look at it.

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  1. tradercaddy

    I go to Chapel Hill area several times a year now. Bermuda lawns seem to do pretty well with not much upkeep although if you have an HOA Bermuda may not be approved. They probably like the fancy stuff like Zoysia.
    BTW why do you put seed down. Just get sod and although more expensive you know what you are getting and less work involved.

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  2. tradercaddy

    Long story short my son changed as a college coach from Oregon State to UNC. The Grandkids are there now. Interesting story- he asked if I could fly out to Oregon and drive his car cross country to NC and do it in 4 days. The kicker is that it’s a Tesla Model 3 standard range. I stopped to charge ( and pee) every 2.5 hours or so. Did it in about 55 hours and 26 stops to charge. The self driving software was helpful in Idaho, Utah, Wyoming and Nebraska.
    P.S. Elmo’s Diner near Duke campus is solid old school diner.

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