MARKET TEETERS ON FULL COLLAPSE

I offer no evidence to support the title of this post, only a hunch that the recent foray into heavily shorted piece of shit stocks like PRTY is nothing more than a final salvo that will lead to a sequence of events that will entirely destroy the very fabric of western finance and annihilate the stock market.

Naturally all inverse ETFs stormed higher except the one I was long UVIX, which reminds me to stop dicking around with my hedges and to simply buy SQQQ or TZA.

I closed DOWN 1.77% because I’m a moron and on “vacation”. Very soon the apocalypse nears and with it dastardly lower stock prices. I swapped out of UVIX for TZA and hold close to 80% cash because I won’t be at the desk tomorrow and anything can happen.

For a few months now I’ve been trading defensive and afraid of losing my grandiose gains. The same thing happened to me last year and to be honest, I’m ok with it. The whole point of this experiment in finance is to compound absurd returns over many years in order to build absurd wealth. With a little luck and some mathematical precision from Stocklabs, I feel I can achieve this goal.