iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
22,158 Blog Posts

US OFFICIALLY ENTERS RECESSION; STOCKS SURGE

This is what American markets do — we optimistically plunge ahead like the Eddie Barzoons we are and get walled later on in head on collisions because we didn’t see it coming.

The official GDP came in this morning at -0.9%, placing us in recession. Initially stocks plunged but now we’re jimmying higher, see, based off the notion that stocks can only trade up.

We already won the war and inflation was defeated yesterday by the Fed, and the Chinese are scared of us, after Biden spoke to Xi today for over 2hrs. We have it all sowed up. The markets are higher because everything is back to normal.

I’m +95bps, hedged with a bias to the downside. Today’s bust out sectors also includes Monkeypox, based off the rumors we are about to declare it a national emergency.

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2 comments

  1. bambam

    Because now that we’re in it.. this is the path out of it and big gainz… so now would be a damn good time to start buying crap on a discount

    Enjoy.. see you in 10 years.. cruise control

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  2. flea

    Is most of the stonk purchasing world bonkers … or, is it different this time?

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