iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,000 Blog Posts

The Vaccine, FANG, Wheeled Chaired Vampires, and $ADA

The more I use fancy Airbnb’s the more I miss hotels. Unlike Airbnb’s, hotels are run by professionals who understand how to clean and keep things in order. Plus you don’t have to deal with homeless men haranguing you for spare quarters whilst trying to unpack your shit at 10pm in the dark.

I’m only buying FANG stocks now, own a massive ADA trading position in cryptos, and have negative feeeeeeelings against the vax. The market is shit, overall, so I’m opting for the biggest capped tech. The cryptos markets have busted loose, so I’m opting for a high beta big cap approach to crypto. The COVID-19 virus doesn’t scare me, because I’ll never get it and the vaccine all but guarantees I’ll get sick from the vaccine so no thanks.

See bro, it’s not about trusting the science, because I do. It’s also not about being scared of needles, because I’m not. I just don’t care that much for elderly fat fucks. My uncle died from COVID, BUT we weren’t allowed to see the body and NYC swept him into one of their mass burial programs, so I assume he was a crisis actor and is now living somewhere nice amidst plush scenery.

If you get the vax, great for you. You’re doing your best to herd yourselves into the barn so that society can get back to stuffing their fat fucking faces with donuts and living out weakly late into their 80s, draining the youth of their future, like ancient vampires in wheeled chairs. I respect your decision to vaccinate yourselves and willingly get sick because, bro, COVID is a killer and my god the death toll is nothing less than staggering. We haven’t seen a death toll like this since the Black Death wiped out 1/3rd of Europe and I am grateful for the “heroes” who work at hospitals for expediting the demise of so many people who would otherwise drain society like wheeled chaired vampires.

Nevertheless, I’m still not taking the fucking vaccine…bro.

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16 comments

  1. juice

    AMEN bro

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  2. jose

    Fly, much appreciated that your continue to use commas, periods, sentence structure and correct use of “your” and “you’re”. Writers adapting tweet and text nomenclature are increasingly making areas of the blogosphere unintelligible, making your site stand out even more.

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  3. emersonlakepalmer
    emersonlakepalmer

    Hello inner wall st. CB circle

    365

    I just named the number
    of consecutive days
    I’ve lost money in this
    beautiful market

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  4. maxx2000

    Fly,

    1. Sorry about the loss of your uncle.
    2. Hope you are enjoying the vacation. The cornbread at “The Olde Pink House” is the best you will ever have.
    3. Please, please, please ALWAYS take a street view in Google and do a crime stat search on every property you plan to rent thru Airbnb. Fuckers buy shitty properties in third world ghettos and then take photos of the granite kitchen to fool you.

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  5. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Toldya I was right.

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    • Raul3

      you’re a cocksucking douchebag

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      • gappingandyapping
        gappingandyapping

        Wow why do you say that Raul? I don’t believe I have ever really spoken to you.

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        • Raul3

          i feel really bad about this. Sorry. All those doge gains this morning had me acting funny. All the best. Won’t happen again.

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          • gappingandyapping
            gappingandyapping

            No problem I was confused because I thought FANGs were primed to rip and was telling Fly to buy them.

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  6. it is showtime

    Hi inner wall st CB circle

    4150.

    I just named a number
    you cant get the S&P
    to hit. Can’t even touch.
    have a good day

    F UCK
    L OCK AND LOAD
    Y ELLOWBRICKROAD

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  7. my2cintz

    I assume you don’t look both ways before crossing the street either because it’s a simple way to avoid dying. You don’t like those for some reason.

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  8. JakeGint

    You know I comment very infrequently these days. I comment here because this may be an all time Top 10, maybe Top 5 post. I read it out to my family (all but my youngest are literal adults now) and they were all rolling. You, sir, are a comedy genius.

    _____

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