iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,688 Blog Posts

Markets Post Up Another Four Hundo — Money is Easy to Make and Fun

I strolled into work whenever the hell I felt like it. I did not bother looking at the time, but awoke from my slumber when I felt like doing so. For breakfast, I had had eggs on a toasted brioche, with a latte, and some greek yogurt. I helped myself to three cups of coffee, not because I wanted to — but because I could.

After achieving +200%+ for the year last week, I decided that I wanted even more money. In the morning I had just 4 stocks, all up, so I sold them.

TPR +2.8%
JMIA +9%
BBBY +5.2%
WMC +17.2%

Then I decided I wanted to make more money, so I bought several others and sold them later on — one or two within 10 minutes. Pardon my lack of detail, for I do not abide, nor do I recognize, your form of time measurement.

CSU +24.5%
IZEA +23%
ZAGG +18.5%

Some might argue I am greedily swimming in the market and perverting the stock game to fit my needs. That is precisely what I am doing. Let me be clear, I am trying to lose money. I closed out the session long 45%, all fucked stocks, SPACs, warrants, bad bad companies. You will watch me sell these names tomorrow for obscene profit. Money is easy to make and fun — nothing at all can stop me from acquiring more of it.

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

Even though market rocked for +461 today to new record highs, this isn’t for the faint of heart. As a matter of fact if you’ve been following me for months, stop now and just watch me. This is the part of the show where you watch in awe at the spectacle, peruse others performing acts of amazement for a gob-smacked crowd.

It takes large testicles to trade in a market like this. I just so happen to have the largest balls in the world.

Good day to you and see you tomorrow in Exodus.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

20 comments

  1. og

    WTF is going on with stocks like HTZ CHK?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Dr. Fly

      Bankruptcy is bullish

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • indianacurley

      [ STAY AT HOME & WORK AT HOME ] I am now making over $15k every month just by doing an easy j0b 0nl!ne from home using my laptop. I am a student and after my college just doing this easy j0b for maximum 2 hrs a day. Very easy to do j0b and earn!ng from this are much bettrt than other office j0bs. Everybody can now get this and start making extra dollars 0nl!ne by just follow instructions on this s!te……..Read More    

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. trumpmeister

    Men with real testicles don’t liquidate winners and bought them later today at higher prices. Peace. Congrats on being able to have cocaine now.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Dr. Fly

      I sell when I want whenever the hell I feel like selling. I do not need to hold onto stocks like weaker men, because I can recreate the conditions for winship whenever I feel like it.

      Prove me wrong.

      • 2
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. trumpmeister

    I spent 20K of furniture in the past 2 weeks doing my part to boost this economy. F the bear shitters who bet against America.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • lifini4850

      I am making a real GOOD MONEY (400£ to 500£ / hr )online from my laptop. Last month I GOT chek of nearly 30k£, this online work is simple and straightforward, don’t have to go OFFICE, Its home online job. At that point this work opportunity is for you.if you interested.simply give it a shot on the accompanying site….Simply go to the BELOW SITE and start your work……….See More Information 

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. trumpmeister

    Lol can anyone provide a link of Fly retirement post? Man, we’re having too much fun here while making a lot of money.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • trumpmeister

      Nm. found it. Most of the stuff in that post were legit concerns. I can’t fault Fly for acting like a biyatch back then.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. purdy

    This (he said as he remembered the news he’d read throughout the day) …this while we’re still able to just print the immediate costs away.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. purdy

    Amazing performance …y’all have to acknowledge that Fly has been killing it!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • purdy

      …although it’s hard to care all that much when compared to our beloved country lying itself to death.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • trumpmeister

      Hopefully he’s smart enough to keep it this time instead of turning his winnings to loosings, and then resort to selling us about his subscription to the Time Machine to raise capital.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. discoordinated

    There is a midget with a purple beard waiting to murder this market.

    • 1
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. nacober581

    I am now making extra 18k $ or more every month from home by doing very simple and easy job online from home. I have received exactly $16k last month from this home job. Very easy to do and earning from this are just awesome. Join now this job and start making extra cash online by follow instruction on the given website…….. . Read More     

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. tjnyt

    Rats scurrying for the exits.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. riotact

    “Money is Easy to Make and Fun”
    This is the greatest title ever lol. Hilarious.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"