The Fed Grovels to Markets — Declares No More Rate Hikes for 2019: Stocks Surge

The China trade FUD was released earlier today to trick you into selling, knowing this news was just around the bend. They did it on purpose to separate you from your money.

The Fed has genuflected to the market. Here are the headlines.

The Fed indicates that no more rate hikes will be coming this year.
The announcement comes three months after the central bank said two hikes would be appropriate in 2019.
The central bank also says it will complete its balance sheet roll-off program at the end of the September.
The Fed also reduced expectations in GDP growth and inflation and a bump higher in the unemployment rate outlook.
As expected, the benchmark funds rate is kept in a range of 2.25 percent to 2.5 percent.

No more hikes in 2019, all the while wage growth and employment are surging to record levels can only mean one thing: inflation. Whether it’s reported in the CPI or not is moot.

Look at the dollar, down sharply by 0.8% vs the Euro.

Look at the 10yr bond, down 8bps to 2.53%.

These are incredible moves.

As such, I added to my NUGT position, making it a maximum weighted holding — 15% of assets. I also bought AU and AYX. Oil is bidding here too. Get out there and buy some stocks.

POMP EEET.

Here we go again.

One week ago we were very close, believe me, to a trade deal with China. It’s gonna be the best trade deal ever. Now we’re being told such a deal is pure fantasy, very far away. After markets drop — Trump will send out Larry Kudlow to talk up the trade deal again.

This all started to fall apart after Trump fumbled with the N. Korean leader, who is a proxy for China.

Due to his perceived unpopularity, I doubt China will cede any meaningful ground to us until after the 2020 elections. Once the elections are over and the new leader is chosen, said leader will be praised as a negotiating guru for stumbling into a deal that Donald Duck could’ve brokered.

I’m already 40-45% cash, so now I’ll just sit around and wait for things to get worse, or better. Either way, it looks like traps are being laid everywhere.

It was just yesterday, on this very blog, that I flatly stated I was a lottery winner because I owned AYTU. At the time of the post, I was +15% on an intra-day gambit, feeling my oats, strong like a horse, powerful, and invincible. I told my readers to ‘fuck you, go home and play with your kids.’

What sort of person talks like this?

I was filled with hubris and in short order — I’d be dispatched. In the early going this morning — I sold out for a 13% loss.

See pal…

There’s a parable in here someplace… man dicks around long enough…gets himself a case of the aids.

Long story short, I’ve had my fill with the micro-cap segment of the market and will now focus on grander scores. The allure of fast gains has quickly dissipated, now that said gains have turned into harrowing losses. More than that, the speed of the movements has made trading less fun, forcing me to babysit my account and I don’t like to live like that. “The Fly” is a romantic figure, a renaissance man if you will — cavorting and gliding throughout life easy, taking the long road because the views are pastoral and scenic. I do not rush, nor do I waiver.

I sashay in the most masculine way imaginable.

It’s a rare thing to see markets flat before the open. Typically fuckers have a bias. But today looks like one of those days with little to no pre-market activity. As sure as I’m sitting here — extreme volatility will occur during the rest of the tradings day.

Shares of BA are higher on news that an Indonesian pilot saved a 737 Super Max from going down 1 day before the fatal Ethiopian crash. Because we live in a bizarro world — this is considered to be good news.

Google got fined $1.7b in Europe for being assholes. Any interest? No, let’s move on.

UBS said this was their worst quarter in a very long time. Even their advisory division shed 9%. Nothing? Ok.

Shares of SMAR are sharply higher, post earnings. If you have to gamble on a report, why not do it with a SAAS company? After all, the whole point of their business models is that they’re repeatable.

GIS beat and his sharply higher. Wonderful. Why is LANC going up everyday? Jack Daniels mustard that popular?

See you after the market opens.

This is the part of the narrative when we’re supposed to be scared — because the all mighty Fed Ex missed earning and that must mean the global economy is slowing and no one has any money to buy nonsense online.

Dow futures are down 75 and the mood is grim, especially after the 200+ reversal today.

I bought a lot of stock today — but remain cash heavy at 40%. My sense, we sprint towards new record highs by Easter. My plan: sell this fucking house, get out of Princeton, buy more stocks — live happily ever after.

Here are the top rated sectors in Exodus tonight. Take a free trial and envelope yourselves in the winship inherent in the powerful Pelican Room.

We’ve been fighting this war since 2016. By the time Trump leaves office, this war would’ve lasted longer than the one against the Nazis.

I bought a bunch of stocks today — closed the session mostly wrong — 40% cash and milquetoast about my prospects.

This was an infinitesimal move and no one should panic over it. It’s only disappointing because it could’ve been better. We could’ve had more.

If forced to choose just one trade for tomorrow, I’d say SOLY. If forced of course.

Off to smoke a pipe.

Good day.

I bought AYTU about an hour ago at $2.18, presently trading at $2.50. See pal, that’s who I am and you’re nothing.

“Fuck you, go home and play with your kids”

Aside from that, I bought RPD, COUP, TTWO, SOLY and HEXO today.

As soon as you get short or sell all of your stocks, we’ll win the China trade war again. Trust me.

Stocks just spiraled lower off some Bloomberg report of China walking back concessions. You can’t make this up.

#China trade deal still key driver of market…not just Fed
S&P500 drops on @business headline:
*SOME U.S. OFFICIALS SAID TO SEE CHINA WALKING BACK TRADE OFFERS pic.twitter.com/LL62nK4lLE

— Caroline Hyde (@CarolineHydeTV) March 19, 2019

Tattoos belong in prison. However, due to the high level of degeneracy in this country, and the drugs, people have decided it to be a good idea to ink up their bodies. I know — some of you love it and I’m not really speaking to the people who ink their bodies with meaningless art. I am, however, talking to the FUCKHEAD with Chinese letters on his arm, or the idiot girl with a tramp stamp.

By and large, upwards of 90% of the people who get tattoos are idiots. Most of these people will, at some point, regret disgracing themselves — seeing their tats aren’t that sexy and imposing as OLD AND DISGUSTING FUCKERS.

Enter Soliton, Inc — ticker SOLY.

They’re working on a solution that is preferable to the current laser removal. Even though this company is a concept right now, pre-revenues, if they get it right — stock is bound to careen higher — especially since so many submental people just got inked up, bro.

Big pot fan here. I bought HEXO, in anticipation of NJ legalizing it for adult crackheads on 3/25/19.