Comical Relief: ECB CUTS RATES, LAUNCHES BOND BUYING PROGRAM

German 30yr bonds are yielding -0.11%. Swiss 10yr bonds are yielding -0.77%. These yields, apparently, are too high, so the ECB cut rates by 10bps today and also launched a new bond buying program. This is the definition of clownonomics. The ECB deposit rate is now -0.5%.

ECB Decisions- Cuts rates 10 bps; changes forward guidance; adds tiered lending

At today’s meeting the Governing Council of the ECB took the following monetary policy decisions:
(1) The interest rate on the deposit facility will be decreased by 10 basis points to -0.50%. The interest rate on the main refinancing operations and the rate on the marginal lending facility will remain unchanged at their current levels of 0.00% and 0.25% respectively. The Governing Council now expects the key ECB interest rates to remain at their present or lower levels until it has seen the inflation outlook robustly converge to a level sufficiently close to, but below, 2% within its projection horizon, and such convergence has been consistently reflected in underlying inflation dynamics.

(2) Net purchases will be restarted under the Governing Council’s asset purchase programme (APP) at a monthly pace of €20 billion as from 1 November. The Governing Council expects them to run for as long as necessary to reinforce the accommodative impact of its policy rates, and to end shortly before it starts raising the key ECB interest rates.

(3) Reinvestments of the principal payments from maturing securities purchased under the APP will continue, in full, for an extended period of time past the date when the Governing Council starts raising the key ECB interest rates, and in any case for as long as necessary to maintain favourable liquidity conditions and an ample degree of monetary accommodation.

(4) The modalities of the new series of quarterly targeted longer-term refinancing operations (TLTRO III) will be changed to preserve favourable bank lending conditions, ensure the smooth transmission of monetary policy and further support the accommodative stance of monetary policy. The interest rate in each operation will now be set at the level of the average rate applied in the Eurosystem’s main refinancing operations over the life of the respective TLTRO. For banks whose eligible net lending exceeds a benchmark, the rate applied in TLTRO III operations will be lower, and can be as low as the average interest rate on the deposit facility prevailing over the life of the operation. The maturity of the operations will be extended from two to three years.

(5) In order to support the bank-based transmission of monetary policy, a two-tier system for reserve remuneration will be introduced, in which part of banks’ holdings of excess liquidity will be exempt from the negative deposit facility rate.

Gold is soaring on this news, up more than 1.1%.

European Central Bank, acting quickly, Cuts Rates 10 Basis Points. They are trying, and succeeding, in depreciating the Euro against the VERY strong Dollar, hurting U.S. exports…. And the Fed sits, and sits, and sits. They get paid to borrow money, while we are paying interest!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 12, 2019

DEVELOPING…

….on October 1st, we have agreed, as a gesture of good will, to move the increased Tariffs on 250 Billion Dollars worth of goods (25% to 30%), from October 1st to October 15th.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 11, 2019

Booked three gains, two losses, net result is nothing less but staggering.

JCP +16.3%
HOME +6.5%
PBYI +3.71%
(AMRX -7.7%)
(TVIX -6.6%)

I sashayed into several other names that will float higher tomorrow. I know this is difficult for you to accept, since we’re all striving for our best version; but you can’t hold a candle to me. Fuck off and stop talking shit in the comments section, else I’ll break your jaw for you.

On a separate note, I’m driving around in my car again, engine light on, fucked up intake valve, barreling towards disaster.

What do I do here?

I buy fucking trash and shit and issue The Shit Report each and every day.

Heading out now — WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!!!

Most of you buy stocks fresh off the CNBC Cramer report. Me, I buy shit — the lowest of the low orphan stocks — bowl out flagging in the wind begging for porridge. Sure, it’s embarrassing to trade in low brow names. But when I take my lambo in for a tune up, the mechanic doesn’t know any better. Plus, I get the added bonus of winning in stocks that most mortals lose in, an added sweetener if you will.

But don’t get too sweet, otherwise all of your teeth will fall out and you’ll be left with a pick up truck, down in the deep south, with a crooked smile. Be smart and industrious. Sell your winners fast and your losers even faster.

Most online gurus offer you training courses to teach you how to trade. I’m not interested in teaching you a God damned thing. See, I’ve been a good trader my whole life — literally since I started trading at 10 years old. You cannot teach instincts, just like you can’t teach a fat slob how to run fast. You’ve either got it or not.

I only offer to feed you fish. If you want to pay someone that will pretend to teach you how to fish, good luck with that. If you’re hungry and require food for life, come to me — fucked faces. I’m serving fresh fish cakes 24/7 at Exodus.

I closed out my TVIX position for a 6.6% loss. I have several degenerate longs on the BBQ, hoping they’ll ignite late on today.

It was all fun and games until a miserable loss was booked. Over the past two days I’ve sashayed in and out of stocks like a fucking Roman gladiator sacking Gaul. My previous 12 trades.

GNC +4.9%
ENDP +4.2%
EXPR +5.5%
YRCW +7.6%
DF +8.6%
SIG +4.3%
GPRO +4.9%
GPRN +3.2%
TEVA +6.66%
JCP +16.3%
HOME +6.5%
PBYI +3.71%

Then this morning I threw on a few more and had to cut one out for a 7.7% loss. The stock was AMRX.

Moving on, I have about 6 stocks on the books now as being short term oriented trades. God willing, and this goes without saying, my good fortune hasn’t expired — but merely taken a brief sojourn into the moribund world of the uninitiated normie.

More later.

No big deal here. I’m just booking profits, hopped up on copious amounts of Monster Energy coffee — doing God’s work.

I kicked out JCP for an overnight 16.3% gain, making that NINE consecutive winners in a row. The 8 previous winners were all day trades, also NOT A BIG DEAL. This is what I do.

Moving on, I stepped in and bought two more stocks today, both purchased for extravagant success and profit.

Everyone likes a winner and hates losers. We spit on losers here and punch their jaws loose. “The Fly” is a man for the people by the people — built to win.

One week prior to my escape from Princeton down to the warmer climes of Cary, NC I sent my car down to a dealership in Chapel Hill to have its timing chain fixed. It’s an expensive, time exhaustive job, but I was willing to shell out the dough and I was equally happy about the specter of my car being ready for me upon my arrival to the south.

The events that have transpired since then can only be described as cartoonish and evil.

On the third day in Cary, my wife endured a tire blowout on the rental, ripped up rim, fucked alignment, which is bound to cost me over $1k.

Over the past three weeks my local mechanic gave me a sundry of reasons as to why the car was still in the shoppe. He was apparently fixing any number of things. Also, stuff kept breaking and parts needed to be ordered from Mercedes, which took time. Today I went to pick up the vehicle and it was slow to start. I then examined the work order and NONE of the things I asked to be fixed was fixed. As a point in fact, the mechanic has rummaged throughout my computer and ripped apart the intake valve — messed up the cam shaft position and fucked my car.

The net result was a full refund and an appointment at the local Benz dealership for next week, which is bound to set me back $5k.

As a side addendum, I just paid $550 to get one of my Macs repaired and I brought it home, excited like a school girl to have it fixed, only to be miserably disappointed by the fact it was, in fact, still broken with the same exact issues as when I bought that to the Apple store 2 weeks ago.

FML.

PS: This can only mean one thing. MASSIVE WINSHIP FOR MY STOCKS AHEAD.

GREETINGS PLEBS!

I speak to you live from the top of the mountain. I had a busy day and would like to fill you in on what I’ve been doing.

Are you ready?

Good, I’m going anyway.

The following are all day trades purchased in the morning and sold in the afternoon.

ENDP +4.2%
EXPR +5.5%
YRCW +7.6%
DF +8.6%
SIG +4.3%
GPRO +4.9%
GPRN +3.2%
TEVA +6.66%

Not 1 or 2 or 3 successful day trades — BUT EIGHT — fucked face. See, that’s who I am and you’re nothing. Oh, I also have another one up 8% for the day that I decided to hold a little while longer. It’s true, I do cheat by using a time machine — but it’s also true that it never gets old. These are the halcyon days we live for as traders, the sort of days that make you leverage out your brokerage accounts and go all into complete and utter shit.

None of those stocks are good, per se, but I banked coin on them and that’s all that matters.

GOOD DAY TO YOU.

Busy fucking morning here at House Fly, southern plantation edition.

I sold my overnight trade in GNC for a 4.9% gain.

I sold ENDP for a 4.2% day trade.

I sold EXPR for a 5.5% day trade.

And I sold out of PLUG for a 5.2% gain.

Additionally, I sold some other stuff for losses, but we will not mention those because it makes me look bad. I cannot afford to have myself look ridiculous at any point. I am a MASTER ACE TRADER and I shall always provide the public with an image of wanton chicanery and success. All losses shall be kept hidden from the public, as my persona is all about winning and making sure I destroy all of my enemies with my success.

That being said, today was more or less a wash, but I had fun doing it.

I have managed to mitigate my drawdowns with these disgusting piece of shit stocks. Wall Street is now barreling in headlong into the worst stocks in the world. I believe someone warned you of this occurrence.

Bottom line: Shit healthcare and shit retailers are where it’s at. I have several other trades on the grill now and will be looking for MOAR. All trades executed in real time on the Exodus platform, naturally.

Do not expect a bounce in gold today. I told you, I am the pre-eminent authority on all things to do with gold and silver and I am here to tell you — it’s not done going lower. Look, I’m not like those other fucked for faces who glibly take to the internet to shit on gold. I like gold, but not here. I was the first one in and the first one out — literally calling the top in the shiny metal.

But now is not the time to be emotional about the investment. Take your time in the weeds and get to know the ground you’re walking on. It’s somewhat different than it was a few weeks ago and I believe you’re about to see a significant shift in risk metrics.

Let’s see how this fucker opens up and then I’ll have more opinions for your leather-faced morons.