iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,848 Blog Posts

We’re Buying Shit and Shit Only

Most of you buy stocks fresh off the CNBC Cramer report. Me, I buy shit — the lowest of the low orphan stocks — bowl out flagging in the wind begging for porridge. Sure, it’s embarrassing to trade in low brow names. But when I take my lambo in for a tune up, the mechanic doesn’t know any better. Plus, I get the added bonus of winning in stocks that most mortals lose in, an added sweetener if you will.

But don’t get too sweet, otherwise all of your teeth will fall out and you’ll be left with a pick up truck, down in the deep south, with a crooked smile. Be smart and industrious. Sell your winners fast and your losers even faster.

Most online gurus offer you training courses to teach you how to trade. I’m not interested in teaching you a God damned thing. See, I’ve been a good trader my whole life — literally since I started trading at 10 years old. You cannot teach instincts, just like you can’t teach a fat slob how to run fast. You’ve either got it or not.

I only offer to feed you fish. If you want to pay someone that will pretend to teach you how to fish, good luck with that. If you’re hungry and require food for life, come to me — fucked faces. I’m serving fresh fish cakes 24/7 at Exodus.

I closed out my TVIX position for a 6.6% loss. I have several degenerate longs on the BBQ, hoping they’ll ignite late on today.

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6 comments

  1. mrcharlie

    I curse you Fly! I am neither a troll nor a fucked face!!! Haaaaaa

    Why all the doom and gloom everywhere? Because of the last 5 trading days? The fuckin Dow is at 27,000! ‘Im fuckin lost

    Yo fam you got mercedes problems! Yeah just let the dealer bang you into oblivion. When you have a machine like that its best to let the big boys handle it. Im guess Fly is pushin an AMG V12 SL 500??? hahaaa

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  2. WrongView

    Is this your way of telling the “Capstone” program is dead?

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  3. numbersgame

    Make sure you find a new mechanic for your lambo 😉

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  4. alty

    Buy often sell never has been working great this year. MSGT feels me

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    • numbersgame

      It’s been working great for 10+ years (or 30+ as well). The problem has always been stairs up, elevator down. Becuase we are near ATHs, you could argue that buy-and-hold has *never* really failed.

      Of course, the probelm is that this doesn’t mean that it will never fail in the future. Ask the Japanese abou this one.

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      • alty

        You know what hasn’t been working great for the vast majority? Day and swing trading. In up or down markets.

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