Buying $FIZZ — Because Nothing Can Be More Profitable Than Selling Fancy Seltzer Cans

Jesus Christ it’s raining so much here I think my house might float away. I was doing some yard work over the weekend and the grading of the landscape needs repair, from heavy erosion due to minor flooding. If I don’t haul in a shit load of top soil to cover exposed tree roots, I risk having illegal Mexicans trample over them with their lawnmowers — killing my trees dead.

Speaking of which, the god damned trees are dropping like flies in the yard — always succumbing to beetles and carpenter ants. I’ll need to plant some new one’s soon. I usually go with swamp oak — because they’re strong and nearly impossible to kill.

Markets are strong — but oil is weak. I like long stocks and short Russia here, especially in light of recent sanctions on them and of course their exposure to oil.

I just bought some FIZZ too — after a long weekend of inebriating myself with the help of their little key lime sparkling water cans. They make for a fine gimlet and I strongly recommend all of you to give their product a try, especially when inebriating oneself.

Things are going swimmingly in Exodus. The algos are working tirelessly, creating new opportunities every day — and the community is vibrant, smart, and callous — my favorite qualities in people.

Back to FIZZ. When will they catch a buyout? It’s a no-brainer for any large beverage company in search of growth. With the stock bidding up nearly $3 and my new found affinity for the brand paired with gin, I like my chances playing this thru $100.