iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,474 Blog Posts

God is a Patriots Fan, Face it

Being a devout atheist, I can say without a question of a doubt that God prefers Tom Brady and the Patriots over all other sports teams. I know this because I grew up a NY Mets fan, always the victim of NY Yankee championship parades.

During the 80s, there was a brief and magical era of Mets dominance — a cocaine fueled team, befitted by hookers and mobsters, which helped propel the Mets to the King’s throne of NYC sports. Later on in the 90s, the Yankees started to win rings again, which all culminated to an unbelievable showdown between the Yankees and the Mets in the 2000 Word Series, where Mike Piazza was cucked by Roger Clemens and the entire Mets squad, obviously cocaineless, was humiliated and defeated — never to be heard from again. Years later the Mets would collapse, up by 7 games with just 17 games to go, ceding to the very evil Phillies — which marked the end to my fandom and I never visited the Mets stadium again.

I like to say that I stopped caring about sports when I became an adult. Truth is, I find the games interesting and fun, especially when someone gets injured or in a fight, but I don’t have time to spend idly watching morons toss balls around the yard.

However, I do make an exception on Super Bowl evening. I used to spend it at a friends house and we used to watch the games and scream at the teevee. Now I spend it at home with my sons and we scream at the teevee — amidst tables festooned with fatty snacks and foods.

Face it faggots, God loves Tom Brady and will deliver him a 6th ring tonight, further emboldening Donald John Trump to making America great again, building walls, starting wars, and tossing Mexicans out of this great nation. While you might disagree with everything written above, they are facts, sort of like science, but better.

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10 comments

  1. feargreed

    Loved those Mets teams of the 80s. I was nine years old when they won it all in ’86, and that pretty much sealed my fate as a Mets fan for the duration of my childhood into adolescence. Too bad all my idols on that team were coke heads… Strawberry, Gooden, Hernandez. The ’88 team was pretty good as well, but they ran into a buzzsaw with Hershiser and Gibson. They should have won more than one ring. Reminds me of the ’85 Bears… unfulfilled potential.

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    • Dr. Fly

      I recall very vividly watching them in game 6, two strikes to Carter, 2 outs, 9th inning, thinking it was over.

      Nothing’s ova.

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      • moosh

        I was in a track meet way back ago where gary’s daughters were also competing. Gary signed everything I had on me. Gary Carter is awesome on many levels

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  2. husaria

    So, you have faith in no God?

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    • Dr. Fly

      Fairytales for people who need solace.

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      • metalleg

        Hate to burst your bubble but the Eagles are going to crush the Pats tonight.

        Eagles were the best team all year long and it will be proven tonight. I dislike both teams so I don’t care who wins.

        If I’m wrong, I agree to be fired from your Orbital Space Cannon never to be seen or heard from again.

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      • husaria

        Did not answer question. Sign of weak mind.

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      • sarcrilege

        Communists, marxists, bolsheviks, (((zionists))) and the likes of those are atheists. Everybody else is at bare minimum spiritual or agnostic.

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  3. Mongoose0614

    You gotta watch the 30 for 30 on doc and darryl.

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