iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,474 Blog Posts

Report: The Leader of ISIS is Dead

On June 16, 2017, there were reports that the evil Russians might’ve killed the leader of ISIS, Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi. Today, it appears that those reports were in fact correct.

“[We have] confirmed information from leaders, including one of the first rank, in the Islamic State in the eastern countryside of Deir al-Zor,” the director of the British-based war monitoring group Rami Abdulrahman told Reuters.

Al Sumaria said ISIS on Tuesday “announced in a very brief statement” that Baghdadi was dead and “talked about the announcement” of a successor. The Al Sumaria source also spoke of an internal coup brewing within ISIS, with hardcore Baghdadi supporters being arrested.

Whether the reports are true or not is almost immaterial. Over the past 6 months, we’ve seen a significant deterioration in the virility of ISIS. They are, without question, on the road to perdition. Now we need a new enemy to justify our fucking existence in that god forsaken hell hole.

Hey, I got one. How about Assad? By meddling in their affairs, we can acquire three new enemies: Syria, Russia and Iran. This should provide the neocons with at least another decade of dead American soldiers, trillions of dollars in excess defense spending, and millions of lives lost to the ravages of war.

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2 comments

  1. sarcrilege

    No doubt Mossad/CIA has ISIS 2.0 waiting in the wings.

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  2. juice

    with his latest death, Baghdadi has now been killed at least 1/2 a dozen times

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