iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,417 Blog Posts

Gentlemen of Extreme Measures: The Best Month of the Year Approaches

Historically, April is the best month of the year. Have a look at the data, courtesy of Exodus.
April

Let’s not mince words. Life is too short to be coy and pretend that we mean one thing, when in fact we mean another. I want the market to go up by 5% in April. Anything less than a 5% ramp will disappoint me. I intend to lighten up my exposure heading into May, since markets tend to get graped during the warmer climes of the year.

In the interim, “The Fly” will plot and scheme to catch his enemies in one giant snare and then execute them, in a favorable fashion according to medieval law.

I’ll do a seasonality post inside The PPT this week to highlight which stocks typically outperform in April. You will be surprised by some of the choices.

Gentlemen, we are going to make an extreme amount of money this April, a perversion of normalcy if I might be so bold. The volume of business we transact will surpass all previous highs, setting the stage for a most hedonistic summer.

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14 comments

  1. juice

    and so it shall come to pass …

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  2. doubleplus

    Lol, “get graped.” Totally forgot about The Grapist.

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  3. lesurgeon

    It’s so refreshing to work with someone who’ll throw a saddle on a gift horse rather than look it in the mouth.

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  4. the_ambassador

    You’re enthusiasm is inspiring!

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  5. matt_bear

    Shoot your enemies up like the first 10 mins of transformers movie. Ironhide went down like a bitch.

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  6. bonobo smores

    Good to know April is the fast track to cash month. Tired of the lack of momentum; I’ll give it one more month and then scale back for the summer

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  7. geezer

    GPRO is going to have a live stream in Periscope and both GPRO and TWTR will get to three digits!

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  8. ironbird

    Extreme gentlemen is a lost art. Take the vampire kiss for example. 91 years young.

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  9. stynydan

    Fly can you please break down the %time April is up vs. Ave% gain for April? Thx

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  10. BlueStar: Contrarian Investor
    BlueStar: Contrarian Investor

    Sell in may is coming early this year.

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