iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,419 Blog Posts

A COMPLETE AND THOROUGH UPDATE OF MY POSITIONS

Here are my positions and the thesis by which decisions are made, with regards to being long.

IMMR: The stock is going higher, which is why I own it.

YELP: I like the stock, especially since it’s going higher.

POWI: Rumour has it the stock is heading much higher. I concur (extra Dr.), which is why I am long.

AAPL: I own AAPL and would bet my male anatomy it’s going higher.

AMBA: I like many things about the company, especially its stock–because it’s going higher.

CHD: This stock has treated me very well over the years, mainly due to the fact it has gone higher.

DDD: Higher in 3-D? Why the hell not?

FB: The world’s worst ipo of all time is seemingly heading higher.

PAMT: Knock, knock. Who’s there? It’s me, “Heading”. Heading who? Heading higher.

WM: This garbage stock is all the rage. I foresee its share price going higher.

PEP: Have you ever taken a warm bottle of pepsi, shake it up real good, then open it? That’s what the stock price is going to do soon.

RAS: My latest and greatest stock that will be known around these parts for demonstrating a distinct sense of decorum, with regards to heading, the hell, higher.

That is all.

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31 comments

  1. Horace Kent

    i love your parodies!

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  2. Encyclopedia BRown
    Encyclopedia BRown

    You ever read a book on technical analysis? If you did, judging by your picks, you could have fooled me!

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    • Jules

      You don’t need technical analysis when you pick stocks that are going higher. Think about that.

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    • The Fly

      Technical analysis is for the lazy and retarded. It’s designed for people like you, too lazy to read a 10-k, so that they can play pretend expert on the markets.

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  3. Cascadian

    Mine are all going higher too.

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  4. Deleted Scenes

    New head CEO. I like the “head hire”… Oh, and it’s heading higher.
    Why did I buy that, am I high? Maybe, but my stock’s higher.
    The headless horseman called, it wants it’s head back. But he cant have it, because it is In a hot air balloon with my stock while you see his head go higher, along with the stock.

    Let us rejoice the increased stock prices with a party on the 4th floor. Oh? We’re on the 3rd? Let’s head higher. Going up!

    Where’s my stock? Going up!
    I just saw a porn in 3D. DDD, like my dick… Going UP!
    I 3d printed an elevator… Going UP!
    FB is about to move like coke near Charlie Sheen’s nose… Going up!
    AAPL needs bigger phones so I can watch and actually see the movie UP which is coincidently where the stock is headed… Higher! Going up!

    Put mentos in PEPSI and where are the mentos. Going UP? So is the stock.

    WM is garbage stock, so like garbage it’s heading lower… Wait… Shit. I mean higher.. no! I screwed up that line. Cut!!!!

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  5. I'm Jour

    Good shit, good track.

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  6. Stack

    The next time someone asks you about the performance of your portfolio or individual stocks you own, just casually extend your middle finger and say “they’re going in this direction.”

    Might I suggest the following video selection…

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G1ENnGJmql4&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DG1ENnGJmql4

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  7. Encyclopedia BRown
    Encyclopedia BRown

    TA assumes markets are efficient for the most part and prices in all 10-K related information. Chart set-ups foretell the now and future.

    All your picks AMBA, IMMR, POWI, PAMT have done dick for the last two months. Look! they have not gone anywhere. Anywhere

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    • The Fly

      Why must they go up over the past two months? Is there a clock on them.

      You think like a dog.

      Yelp went up plenty for me, as well as a number of other stocks, like open, onvo, cxo etc.

      You and I operate on different planes.

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    • djmarcus

      thats just wrong… powi up nice

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    • TheHarper

      How many individuals on the Forbes 500 richest people are purely technical analysts? just sayin’

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  8. schizo

    i like IMMR

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  9. fake amish

    I too can concur. Long TMF cause it is in fact going higher.

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    • fake amish

      Senor Fly, the long wait for the coming free enterprise destroying 0care is now on deck. How does this reality not effect confidence? It was a nightmare out in the distance. Easily looked past as hope change sounded fantastic. Now it is here. A monstrous blob sucking the life out of new and old small business still caught staring into the headlights.

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      • Ray Donovan

        speaking of that…anyone with a solid idea on how to play OCARE?? Its all an administrative nightmare but someone will have to do it. Anyone who thinks the gubmint is going to run OCARE is crazy. So, which public health company will benefit the most?? there has to be a trade – right?

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  10. Chris C

    You have presented a clear case for why all of you positions are heading higher. Time to buy.

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  11. mystos

    Will soon publish my complete list of holdings, none of which are expected to go higher. Not for the faint of heart.

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  12. gatorsun

    YELP…oh yeah

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  13. AKwitdemBeamz

    Fly – thoughts on ANGI at this point? Dive in time?

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  14. The Plumber's Crack
    The Plumber's Crack

    Masterful entry on DDD.
    FIG.

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  15. Ray Donovan

    AAPL should bid on the NFL Package to keep away from Google. They have the cashe….

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  16. Munch

    While Le Fly {snigger} is WHINING and BARKING on about his “stark” picks, the fucking market has just broken MAJOR channel support … Whose the EXPERT now then?

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  17. speerothekid

    lost it at pep

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  18. Braveheart

    (Scottish accent, no homo)
    AMBA getting crushed like a worm.

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  19. Trailor Park Rich Kid
    Trailor Park Rich Kid

    TA is for the lazy and retarded

    Some day this quote will be cited in an academic publication….lol

    Awesome

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