I want 40-50 points per day. I also want YELP to skyrocket, not for my own advancement, but to solidify steep losses in the accounts of those who sell it short.
Volume was light; but who gives a shit? The way I see it, the market is good until mid-May. I will make sure to be out of stocks by the end of April. So, in many regards, this is it! I need to take my +19% and segue it into a +30% by May. The way I figure, I can eek out another 2-3% from May through September, then drive rail spikes through the heads of my enemies from October to New Year’s eve.
I intend to make at least 50% this year. If I fail to do so, on the eyes of Woodshedder, I will resign from Blogfather at iBankCoin and live out the remainder of my life in the green and rocky hills of Romania, tending to goats and drinking un-pasteurized milk and shit.
The train has left the station. Early weakness has been met with a food fight, courtesy of the bulls. Now the bears have AAPL’s lodged in their throats, desperate to cover their shorts before this gets serious.
Don’t believe in the conspiracy theory that the market can trade down. That type of propaganda is designed to fleece you of your natural rights to succeed and live rich, fat and piggishly off the tits of the Federal Reserve. Whenever I see stocks trading down, I run to the fridge and make a sandwich, then wait for stocks to come back and get rich again. It’s real easy to make money, just wait.
Now if you’re buying dumb stocks and get your fucking arms blown off, don’t get mad at me. Quit being a 1 star general and start investing your money like a Congressman.
I’m gonna make so much money my fucking face is gonna get numb from the blood rush. My arms will start, involuntarily, punching people in the face again–kicking people in wheeled chairs into traffic, slapping communists in the face with hot hot slices of pizza.
Basic materials have been weak over the past month. Doing a quick scan inside of The PPT, I searched for stocks with market caps over $500 million, up 10%+ year to date and down 10%+ over the past month.
Here are the results.
Well, if you were waiting for a dip, there you go.
Back in 1998, I was a hardcore piker, opening new accounts for idiot brokers. In my personal account, joint with Mom (shamed), I had an early AMER position building, which later turned $6k into $250k. I was on the verge of greatness and didn’t even know it. Without a doubt, 1998 was the low point for “The Fly’s” career, nearly checking out of the business in exchange for a salaried position at Schwab, dealing with the perplexities of supporting a family on zero income for 4 consecutive months. One year later, after paying down $35k in credit card debt, I was fucking bowling on pikers, securing an office at my firm and a staff of junior brokers, even though they were older than me.
Here is the month to month returns for 1998. Repeat?
“Tying the knot is the ceremonial bliss of the soul-mated bud and leaf. A delicate union, this is a ‘meant to be’ tea found 2,000 feet atop the famed Yunling Mountain Range of China then hand rolled into a coil of sacred perfection. Gold and black intertwine as one, creating a unique copper hue with sweet honey notes singing legendary declarations of devotion.”
Upon my last visit to Teavana, where Mrs. Fly concluded her monthly duty of procuring $200 of tea for our pantries, I chatted with the sales clerk about the superiority of Earl Gray and how its bergamot undertones basically reduced the other teas in his store to boxes of feces. Laughing mightily, in his gayish ways, he disagreed. As a matter of fact, he rather insisted that I purchase even more tea to prove his point. Startled and taken aback– by this bold maneuver from a clerk clad in a chinese man costume– I agreed.
Smugly, he waved a large metallic box cover over the large box of tea he was holding– to direct the aromas to my direction. Embarrassed by the spectacle, I quickly agreed with satisfaction and paid for the tea.
When I got home, Mrs. Fly yelled at a very loud decibel that she was, indeud, preparing tea. She’d boil up the water and pour hers into a plunger filled with herbal crap and mine in the majestic Earl Gray. She scurried over to my office and placed a giant iBankCoin mug onto my desk; but it looked different. Typically, the milk dilutes my tea enough to give it a light brown colour. But this tea was far darker and ominous looking. It was quite intimidating, if I might say so myself.
I took a sip.
WOW!
Much to my amusement and chagrin, Mrs. Fly had inadvertently or insidiously, brewed me a cup of Copper Knot Hongcha tea!, fetched from off-reach parts of “poor as fuck” China for my pleasure–the very same tea that homosexual tea clerk had challenged me to try. I must admit, the delightfulness of this tea cannot be described with a single blog post, or any post for that matter. Nevertheless, I report to you with the most dire of tones, THE EARL GRAY TEA HAS BEEN PLACED IN THE BACK OF THE PANTRY, for the time being.
Well, I am happy to report the sale of Le Casa del Fly. It sold the first week it was showcased. The only problem we have now, at Le Casa del Fly, is we’ve yet to buy a replacement home. In other words, come July, we will be homeless. Having said that, I intend to pack the family into an RV and “trailer park” it in front of your pristine grounds, where I will be in a mobile command center, operating– cloaked in ambiguity– iBC’s ORBITAL SPACE CANNON (OSC), intended to be used for aggressive offensive measures.
Very soon, “The Fly” will be coming to a neighborhood near you.
I bought CLR for the oil exposure. The stock has been beaten up a bit, like many other stocks in the sector. In addition to CLR, I like AREX and GPOR too. But CLR gets my money due to their earnings potential and proclivity of $85 stocks shooting to $120 (no Cramer).
YELP got punched in the scrotum this morning, but quickly stabilized as volume seized up. Some fucktard, who knows ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about the company, penned a hit piece this morning. As a result, the shares were, criminally, sent lower. No worries, the shorts inside of the YELPcopter will crash and burn, charred beyond recognition, identified by a few loose molars left over from the accident.
I would not be surprised to see YELP reverse higher into the bell, giving the shorts the business into the weekend. I’d do it myself if it wasn’t for my large position. My reentry price is $25 and lower. I cannot justify adding to the stock here with a cost basis of $21.75.
Everything else is marginally higher. Nothing to see here but zero volatility, big money chasing small stocks into the summer.
Futures are sharply higher. Don’t ask me why they are higher, for I will simply state “urinal shadows, cocaine chuck wagons, counterfeit money, get the fuck out of my way.”
Crack spreads are north of $35; but refinery related stocks are weak. The last time cracks were this high was last summer, right before the fucking collapse. Obviously, people are ignoring fundamentals, trading on emotions, like little bitches. Refiners of high quality can be bought with reckless abandon, providing cracks stay this wide. To be clear, WNR, HFC, MPC and CVI are high quality. Both DK and ALJ are thinly traded and often referred to as “fucking bullshit” around the water cooler.
Let’s not make this harder than it needs to be. The central government has planned to enrich the population through interfering in equity markets. Money is cheap and credit is becoming readily available again. Real estate has bottomed and the elections are coming.
I am fresh out of loose leaf Earl Gray tea (tragedy), forcing me to try something from the orient of the chai varietal. I don’t like to deviate from routine and this really throws me for a loop. Mrs. Fly has in her possession over $500 worth of Teavana loose leaf tea, all flavoured with fruit. Even though Earl Gray is infused with bergamot oils (orange), it’s not really a fruity tea. In short, I like my tea like my portfolios: in the black.
With April fast approaching, one must consider the possibility that oil stocks can go up again. It’s been mind-boggling to see them suffer so greatly –with oil so high. It is the purest form of asshattery that market has ever known. In the oil and nat gas space, SWN, HP and WFT are on my radar. Also, if the market softens, CL is poised to do the $100 roll. Boy did Icahn play that one like a fucking senile old fucker, no?
Although pricing pressures persist in the glass substrate market, at some point, Asahi and Corning will get their acts together and start ripping people off again. Remember when SNDK was under $20, due to weak NAND prices, despite the popularity of the Ipod and Iphone? Well, as sure as I am sitting here, margins for GORILLA GLASS will improve and the shares will trade much higher. Should we get an Apple tv, shares will rebound immediately.
I own BID for the spring auctions. JWN is a trade, as well as MAS and TDC.
CPST is trading wrong. The company isn’t in such bad shape. I am convinced it will be 30-50% higher by year end.
YELP can trade down 15% from current levels without a problem. Or, money managers get the drift that YELP has no competition and is in a class of its own, bidding the stock up–fervently–until Facebook ipo’s. Either way, I foresee myself trading it for many months to come.
Should we trade down some more, I will take a 10% position in EXK. Both EXK and AG are cheap.
Finally, my only reservation about being a blind bull is China. It’s clear to me that something is off there, as evidenced by their struggling market and weakness in met coal prices. The weakness is met coal is causing a whole slew of industrial names to trade down, under a singular thesis: china is slowing. If China is slowing, then ANR will file for bankruptcy, alongside AKS. It’s tempting to buy BTU, TCK, MTW and WTI down here. But, if the market is really one big fucking pozi scheme waiting to implode, then those sectors (coal, steel, industrials) will get lambasted first and foremost.
The Samurai chai isn’t half bad, but not nearly as distinguished as my usual.
I wanted to buy MAS and GLW on the dip this morning. But I held myself back because the positions were down less than 5%. Cash reserves must be used smartly, designed to buy real dips of 10% or more.
The market reversed from a 100 point deficit to flat. This bodes extremely well for a “rip your tits” off rally tomorrow, aboard the cocaine chuck wagon, traveling violently at frightening speeds, breaking the skeletal structures of bears in the way.
I warned you before and I am telling you again: we’re going to new all-time highs. As unbelievable as that might seem to you, so foreign, full of fantasy, it’s going to happen. Now you have as choice in front of you, presented with a wax seal, placed on your desk. Should you continue the feckless path of financial bleakness, TVIXing yourself into deep deficits? Or, will you join the party, hop onboard the cocaine chuck wagon, hosted by the eminent, God’s only son, Benjamin Bernanke– and bathe in the profits descended from the sky?
This is a rally fueled by counterfeit money. Does it make sense to bet against it?
