CRISIS STRIKES THE HOUSE OF FLY

“Tying the knot is the ceremonial bliss of the soul-mated bud and leaf. A delicate union, this is a ‘meant to be’ tea found 2,000 feet atop the famed Yunling Mountain Range of China then hand rolled into a coil of sacred perfection. Gold and black intertwine as one, creating a unique copper hue with sweet honey notes singing legendary declarations of devotion.”

Upon my last visit to Teavana, where Mrs. Fly concluded her monthly duty of procuring $200 of tea for our pantries, I chatted with the sales clerk about the superiority of Earl Gray and how its bergamot undertones basically reduced the other teas in his store to boxes of feces. Laughing mightily, in his gayish ways, he disagreed. As a matter of fact, he rather insisted that I purchase even more tea to prove his point. Startled and taken aback– by this bold maneuver from a clerk clad in a chinese man costume– I agreed.

Smugly, he waved a large metallic box cover over the large box of tea he was holding– to direct the aromas to my direction. Embarrassed by the spectacle, I quickly agreed with satisfaction and paid for the tea.

When I got home, Mrs. Fly yelled at a very loud decibel that she was, indeud, preparing tea. She’d boil up the water and pour hers into a plunger filled with herbal crap and mine in the majestic Earl Gray. She scurried over to my office and placed a giant iBankCoin mug onto my desk; but it looked different. Typically, the milk dilutes my tea enough to give it a light brown colour. But this tea was far darker and ominous looking. It was quite intimidating, if I might say so myself.

I took a sip.

WOW!

Much to my amusement and chagrin, Mrs. Fly had inadvertently or insidiously, brewed me a cup of Copper Knot Hongcha tea!, fetched from off-reach parts of “poor as fuck” China for my pleasure–the very same tea that homosexual tea clerk had challenged me to try. I must admit, the delightfulness of this tea cannot be described with a single blog post, or any post for that matter. Nevertheless, I report to you with the most dire of tones, THE EARL GRAY TEA HAS BEEN PLACED IN THE BACK OF THE PANTRY, for the time being.