The Hardest Market Ever

Folks, it doesn’t get harder than this, despite what all the know-it-all dipshits out there say. Please keep in mind, most of the bloggers you read are fake. They don’t really run money, nor live the lifestyle of a gentleman. When a market tumbles by 65%, then rips by 50%, then chops around for months: that’s a pretty horrendous market.

How about recently?

Well, we had the best fucking July in decades, which led to the worst August since 2001. Anyone who is telling you this shit is easy is either lying or faking it. Look, I pride myself on being right and knowing exactly what the market is going to do and when. For the most part, that is still the case, as the market is playing out as expected. However, the week to week trendless bullshit is taxing, even for me. I don’t like to be hedged for so long, which is basically me saying: “I don’t know.”

I just got back in from a 5 hour flight from San Diego and I did not sleep for a second. Instead of dreaming of goats and fairies, I read the Wall Street Journal (7 days worth) and watched CNBC Asia and Europe, until I got bored. After that, I put on some degenerate cartoon, where there was some fucking Merlin-like magician, who turned himself into a lion then exploded in front of an audience, which turned into a demented invitation to his next act by way of writing on the wall from the blood of the dead lion. Gone are the days of Papa Smurf and Plastic Man.

[YouTube:http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZxCGCBzsIs&feature=youtube_gdata_player 616 500]

I leave you faggots to watch the market for me and you done screwed it up. As a mellow vactioner, I really should not be subjected to wild stock market swings. It really is quite rude.

Fear not, for the veteran robots are coming home from vacation and will soon put some conviction into this tape, up or down. As you know, for now, my money is betting for a rally. But, the longer term picture looks woefully gay, which is why I still have 25% of my assets in the dumbest hedge of all time: the VXX.

It is troubling to see yen soar and treasuries rally. Basically, we’re all in the fucking vortex now, as the deflationary death strangle takes hold.

I will not try to minimize the difficulty of this tape. If you are having trouble trying to figure it out, don’t beat yourself up over it. This is as hard as it gets. Trust me when I tell you, it will get a lot easier than this, very soon. The market needs to figure out how to price in the data. It does not know if we are at risk of laughable Zimbabwe style inflation or heart wrenching Japanese style deflation. The way things are now, it’s pricing in both, as unbelievably retarded as that may seem.

I am not pleased with the current structure of my portfolios and will be making wholesale changes to them, as soon as I get back to NYC (tomorrow). In my estimation, my retarded hedging strategy, with plus amounts of cash, served its purpose of protecting my gains throughout the meat grinder tape of July-September, 2010. However, I believe the time has come, in coordination with the arrival of the distinguished veteran robots from Goldman Sachs, to pick a side and run with it.

As soon as I posted last night’s blog, I had a feeling a large slice of humble pie was readying to get tossed into my face. Hell, I was even on Twitter, laughing up a storm, talking about how the bears are about to get pummeled. ROFLMAOMG!!! I was walking around my hotel lobby, as if I owned the placed, barking out orders to the employees—because I had to be respected. I went to dinner last night, dressed in white robe and sandals, with a lit pipe, even though it was illegal. It did not matter, for I was about to make enough money today to buy California.

Fast forward a dozen hours and I am here, blogging, like a fucking jackass, while my stocks get beat like pinatas. Naturally, I am not selling yet. However, this is the sort of action that can drive a man crazy. The lack of consistency is troubling and I don’t have time to trade in and out all the time, like some sort of day trading jack-wagon.

At the end of the day, I will be painfully correct. In the meantime, I have a flight to prepare for; see you cowards later.

As my La Jolla vacation winds down, I’d  be remiss if I didn’t let you animals in on a little well known secret: “The Fly” never loses, ever. It may get repetitive and it may conjure up feelings of acute jealousy in many of you garbage men; but it’s true, so learn from me.

What recent wins do I speak of?

Answer: 100% long TNA, UCO, FAS etc. in my personal accts. For clients, I am fully invested amongst a myriad of high beta longs.

How do I time the market so perfectly?

Answer: The PPT

Am I just saying that to garner more business?

Answer: I could sell the algorithm for millions right now and cancel and refund all current subscriptions; but I choose to live with the little people.

Why?

Answer: I fucking hate the establishment.

How good is The PPT?

Answer: Ask my subscribers

See folks, what I have at my disposal is not the holy grail or some sort of crystal ball. It is not all I need or required to be a God-like investor. No. All I have here is an edge. A fucking edge over my competition. An edge over the other moronic bloggers in my field. A motherfucking edge over you, if you’re not part of my club. That’s all it is.

As I head out to another fine dining experience, as opposed to the fucking bullshit I endured with Chuck Bennet last night, feel comfortable in knowing “The Fly” is on your side.

Courtesy of The PPT

I really must be hurrying along now, as Mrs. Fly is a bit perturbed by insistence to gawk at today’s intra-day gains. I’ve been talking a lot of shit today. But, please understand, it is my right. We are barely moving here, up a mere 100. Following The PPT‘s Hybrid Oversold signal of three days ago, I expect at least 300 more points to the upside. With that in mind, I am positioned here for a bull-run; but will take hits to my ever-so-homosexual VXX position. Perhaps the CEO of SD can make a lateral move and become CEO of VXX?

At any rate, going into another merger Monday, I seriously doubt anyone with a modicum of intelligence will remain short. Who wants to be short BUCY into the weekend? Anyone? I didn’t think so.

My vacation ends Monday, so I will be back to the shitty NYC lifestyle in no time at all.

Today’s buys include TBT, ROP and FLS. I look forward to making more money on Monday, as it is my right, based upon the unbendable laws of Darwinism.

NOTE: It’s very funny to see DELL and HPQ measure their cock sizes through PAR. They both deserve shareholder revolts.

I added to my FLS and ROP positions.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you visit the zoo monkeys will throw dung at you. And, you may lose money.

The GDP numbers were better than expected, in my estimation. However, out of nowhere, INTC came out with an earnings warning, sending the tradebots into a fucking scumbag’d hurry to sell futures. Howsoever, in an odd twist of events, one that could only be described inside of the meatgrinder, after a short halt, INTC’s shares opened higher. That’s right, liver lips, the fucking stock is “baked in”, trading in the $18 price range.

I’m going to be very upfront and forthright with all of you, as I feel it is my duty as a space alien magician to do so: I stand to make a great deal of money today, off of your margined short positions. As a point in fact, I intend to use your equity as tinder for my space shuttle jet fuel slush fund. Being long ample amounts of TNA, FAS and a variety of other longs, into this meatgrinder of a rally, makes me a smarter man than you.

See pal, in life, sometimes it’s important to remember the questions, for the answers have already been revealed. If you don’t believe me, go check out what the other seasoned veterans on iBC, Scott and Jakegint (CH), have to say about this market. I gather, you might find them to be somewhat smarter than you too. Understandably, the bar is not set too high, especially after your IQ has been denigrated by the toxins embedded in all of that  corn fed meat you choose to devour; you gluttonous pig!

Good day to you, Sir.

NOTE: I bought TBT.

Pardon the oddball hour of this blog, as I am within the confines of the gayest state in America.

Despite today’s tepid sell off, I find it most amusing to read the jackasses are out and about, discussing the great many atrocities that are about to afflict the general populous, by way of EGREGIOUS stock market losses. There are men out there, serious men in fact, that tell you the Dow will be no more than 3,000 points, inside of 1 year. There are bloggers out there who declare “the end is near, get ready to take bullets to the face.”

Well if “The Fly” must be the voice of reason and democracy, through freedom of great thinking and industry, so be it. We are not drowning in a deep sea of vomit, no, not yet! As a matter of fact, rest  assured, we are near the end of the recent market sell off and will soon spring board higher. Once this occurs, sentiment will change and people will become stupidly bullish again, just in time for my most appropriate departure from equities.

As for my recent on-doings:

I met with fellow blogger and iBC co-founder, Danny aka “Spydercrusher” today. We discussed a great many things over halibut ceviche and fish tacos, overlooking the magnificent Pacific ocean. As expected, Danny is a fine young man, well deserving of his place here at iBC.

Later on in the evening, I took the family out to meet HOWARD LINDZON, at some low end pizzeria, overlooking a few homeless guys near PETCO stadium. The funny thing about this backward pizzeria is they actually carded me at the door and then looked my party’s name up on some sort bullshit list of theirs, as if it were a high end club.  WTF, ROFL: it was a fucking pizza joint!? Needless to say, this place suited MR. LINDZON like cat and yarn.

In all seriousness, Howard and his family are great people and I value our friendship.

As for this market: get ready for the BEARDED CLAM, for he will amaze and surprise all, AND MORE, shortly.

People, this shit always happens in the summer, leading into the fall. You act as if this is the end of the universe, on our way towards an apocalyptic black hole or some shit. Every fucking summer, like clock-work, the markets get dicey. Then in the fall, we get crushed with devilish anvils. Then, finally, we run into the Thanksgiving-Christmas holidays. It’s as easy as greasy peasy.

Am I upset about today’s events?

Answer: yes.

Is it disturbing my vacation, which entails watching Jeremy diving into icy waters, not so much different than a fucking penguin?

Answer: no

You fuckers need to chill out and realize we are in a normal trading pattern, leading into the end of summer. If you think the downside is limited here, position for a rally. If you are disappointed with the results, after just 1 week, seek mental therapy.

If you’re gonna be in this game for longer than a few months and avoid aneurisms in your brain, you really need to eat more sandwiches and balance your portfolios out a little, pal. If you lose it all, you deserved to lose it, since you ignored risk management.

Keep some cash on the sidelines and buy your neighbors margin calls. The sky is not falling; you’re just too high on your own ego to figure it out.

NOTE: Once again, the culprit is the bond market. Keep watching TLT for evidence.