iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,436 Blog Posts

Check Out My Methods

Good Sirs,

I am here to teach you my methods. I, unlike all of you, am an investment genius. My skills are far and above anything you can fathom, sort of like the non-union laborers at Puma Punku.

As you know, over the past month I, quite stubbornly, placed 25% of my assets in VXX. The rest of my money was held in treasuries/cash. HOWEVER, since late last week, “The Fly” has transformed himself into “an investment genius” again, using a very specific and secret style, not so much different than those Chinese guys doing karate on the teevee.

Over the last week, I am up 17.5% in HRBN, 7% in HEAT, 13% in PWRD (today’s lotto winner!!!) and 15% in FTK. Do you know how I did it?

I took a bunch of charts and crumpled them up real good. I threw said charts into the garbage bin outside and lit them on fire. Out of all the charts (100’s of them), THE ABOVE NAMES WERE UNSCATHED!!! That’s right, folks. I placed fire onto paper and it had ZERO effect on the above names. It’s almost as if the stock Gods themselves were protecting them. So, without hesitation, I bought them with great vigor.

Here I am now, 100% placated and content with my position.

As an aside, there are many Chinese LOTTO winners today. Be sure to tune in this evening for the announcement of today’s winners.

Into le bell, I like inflammable charts and all things to do with QE 2, ya’ll.

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48 comments

  1. ron

    FIG

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  2. DarkMatter

    Glad you’re rolling again.

    Kudos again to ‘Cajun for suggesting FEED last week. It’s not quite a lotto, more like a scratch off in which I win 5% every day.

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  3. pistilstamen

    Now that is some exemplary technical analysis.

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  4. A Monkey with a Semiconductor Boner
    A Monkey with a Semiconductor Boner

    Still holding all your VXX?

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  5. FIG

    Aren’t you a little worried about FTK getting delisted from the NYSE? They do not qualify for listing according to the different rules as far as I can tell.

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    • The Fly

      When you buy lotto tickets are you scared you will lose?

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    • Pedro

      I thought–and I may be wrong–that you needed a market cap over $50 mil, which they’ve achieved thanks to the recent run-up. I’m pretty sure I read something saying they were now officially in “good” standing with NYSE.

      Even so, the NYSE gives out extensions to delisted companies like candy. Not being in compliance doesn’t mean shit.

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  6. EasyMoney

    Market rallying based on better than expected earnings from INTC and JPM!

    ….but wait, JPM & INTC are some of the worst performers today…………..hmmmmmmm……

    ………going to try FLY’s chart garbage method.

    Results should be Better Than Expected!

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    • TraderCadddy

      I just tried the fire method.
      DON’T do it with a flame thrower and napalm (have some left over in my garage from Vietnam).
      The fire department is now on the way and they better get here FAST!!!

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      • ecchymosis

        I’m also waiting for the FD – didn’t realize how combustible the VXX charts were!

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      • drummerboy

        hey, i know i outed my self today on that micky D’s comment.but if your talking leftovers from nam……………….HEY FLY.lol

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  7. Frank White

    I’m just curious. Who needs to buy stocks TODAY, and at ANY PRICE.

    Email me if you prefer….

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  8. NorCal

    This market is a hair short of insane. You know this must end badly eventually! Seriously now….

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    • WTF

      Keep repeating that everyday, and soon you’ll end up in an asylum, ’cause the Fed has shown the bulls green pastures, and they’re dashing along the street.

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  9. fucko

    Your fucking methods suck as you mother fucker!!!! You’re banned!!!

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  10. xxxHuggieBearxxx

    This is my very favorite market of all time. It’s like Uncle Ben is printing dollars and mailing them to me directly!

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  11. Apocalypse Now

    Now that your hybrid signal is well over 3.1, I am looking to go short.

    Are we still following it?

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    • TraderCadddy

      I don’t think so.
      The ouija board, the magic eight ball, and darts are the preferred methods.

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    • Helicopter Ben-jammin aka Bearded Clamfucker
      Helicopter Ben-jammin aka Bearded Clamfucker

      PPT is OWNED by Bearded Clam and QE2… fugeddaboutit!

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  12. WTF

    OK, tried the same with VXX. Got this:

    VXX Is A Burning Thing
    And It Makes A Fiery Ring
    Bound By Wild Desire
    I Fell Into A Ring Of Fire

    I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
    I Went Down, Down, Down
    And The Flames Went Higher

    And It Burns, Burns, Burns
    The Ring Of Fire
    The Ring Of Fire

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  13. TraderCadddy

    The only reason that Nigeria Bank is up over 40% this year is because of all of the Nigerian Lotto winnings from peoples e-mail accounts.

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  14. Dayman

    Remember when you were long CMI and SQM?

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  15. Oink Oink

    Alu made a big move finally

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  16. Helicopter Ben-jammin aka Bearded Clamfucker
    Helicopter Ben-jammin aka Bearded Clamfucker

    All I gots to say is… QE2 bitch!

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  17. TraderCadddy

    Question: How come the miners in Chile are flying the flag from the Lone Star State( Texas)?
    Must have something to do with famous Texas chili?

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  18. The_Real_Hmmm

    TSTC is my lotto pick here. They just got a QEteud line of credit and are in the comm sector. 20% short and ready to pop, but I’m afraid we’re broadly starting to roll over.

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  19. Rand

    Texas drilling equipment, houston based manufacturing.
    With texas republic flag!

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  20. jjjsix6

    The side line sux! I’m shorting the S&P right now via insanely leveraged Put options.
    Long live the PPT!

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  21. Bullish

    QE (Bernanke Koolaid) rally? Money falling out of the sky? The new guilded age?

    I’m shocked… okay no I’m not!

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  22. Yogi & Boo Boo

    Fly, I’ve got all these winning lotto tickets I picked up the last couple of days. Where do I go to collect?

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  23. needle dick the bug fucker
    needle dick the bug fucker

    Just bought 1k shares of CRTP @ 3.75

    Booo Yaaa..

    I bought a penny stock..

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  24. TraderCadddy

    Disney should be paying those miners to say: I am going to Disney World!

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  25. stinkystank

    so uh… yeah. this post isn’t very helpful

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