The prospect of a “double dip” recession is entirely off the table, as future news of “A New and Improved Gilded Era” is upon us. Forget about welfare stamps and big stupid blocks of cheese. I am talking about $10,000 cheeseburgers, dressed in 24 karat gold wrappers.
Men of circumstance will walk around Manhattan, dressed like Teutonic Knights, only this time in solid platinum. The price of sugar shall sky rocket, as housewives indulge themselves in the decadency of properly prepared French pastries.
It appears the Europeans will in fact get their act together, effectively leading the way to a most heinous short squeeze, one that the world has never seen before. It will get so egregious, the CEO of BP will be elected new Prime Minister of England, for his splendid handling of the GOM oil spill “situation.” They shall write hard cover history books and scientific journals, outlining the ricochet effects of such extravagant and grander than life events and “eventualities.”
Hedge fund managers will wear tailor made suits, that expose their private anatomy, because they can. And, private equity funds will order the assassination of any uncooperative CEO, because it is their right.
I do not say these things because I am mentally ill, or insane. I say them because they are true. Always remember, the internets never lie.
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the money is the motive
rofl. nice.
first post!
damn.. miss by a few sec…
Hahaha very funny. unfortunately a lot people will read this and not understand the underlying sarcasm.
What sarcasm?
Don’t hate on future news.
very funny. more sarcasm.
What the hell are you talking about now?
…yum … cheeseburgers !!!
.
Any chance the future could change again? Do you have to keep running that time machine up there to find out?
No. The future is only permitted to change once. If it is changed again, the future police change it back and arrest all violators.
LMFAO
lol
I believe that should be the time police not the future police
$10,000 cheeseburger, or $10,000 Royale with Cheese?
It depends where you are. Did you know they give away Kinkade paintings with any Royale with Cheese order in Sumatra?
Well, after all, he is the “Painter of Chee…errrr…Light”
whatchutalkingboutwillis….2012?
I thought Mar 2009 to Apr 2010 was the all-time greatest short squeeze in the historical era of mankind on earth. You mean there is coming upon us a bigger one? What do I do with all those MREs?
This short squeeze will piss on the faces of that short squeeze.
I’m down
lulz
Funny
Thats what i like to hear Fly. I will give you a nod in passing on a random street corner as i look up from my $10,000 bacon cheeseburger cooked ever so medium rare.
WHO THE FUCK SAID YOU COULD GET BACON ON THAT SHIT FOR ONLY 10k!!??!!
You want bacon, that’s another 6 grande!
Fat chance fucko. Only the poor will use streets in the future. Environmentally controlled 18-wheelers complete with butcher, deli, relaxing area, and full hospitality staff will be the new towncars.
I’m thinking of picking up some CAGC in the morn. China CPI for food is insane and they have 40% less arable land per capita than the global average, hence the need to increase yield. The stock has been beaten down bad from its run-off peak and it could possibly touch $20/share if Shanghai rallies.
Mr. Biggs agrees:
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=anqk3Hmea.xM&pos=1
of course he does. He’s from the future.
so you are……..naw…..
Another positive prediction:
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=a8kP1meD14gw&pos=1
Mobius is most likely talking about emerging markets
I made the same statement here several weeks ago. Expect at least a 14% correction followed by a continuation of the bull trend. As a result I’m just buying into the correction. I’ve been accumulating since S&P 667 and don’t intend on stopping now. I’ll evaluate my status in mid 2011 and see if it’s time to take anything off the table.
How are the burgers at Peter Luger’s these days?
Fly, in the future will burger joints accept shares of FAS for the $16,000 bacon cheeseburgers?
FAS Credit Cards coming soon!
Also, FAS will buy Twitter
and FACEBOOK.
They will rename it FASEBOOK
You’re on a roll.
r u drinking?
Worst cheeseburger of my life was at a nice place in brooklyn. Rotten old bull meat bad.
You need to check out Skinflints in Brooklyn. Killer burger.
You don’t feel your arteries clogging like when you eat a 5 Guys burger.
I missed out this time around, but in June I plan to eat at least two lunches there.
The Fly is God.
Deal, sounds good…
In-N-Out if you should travel to the west coast.
Although, Five Guys has a good thing going here in the east.
I will update my Fasebook status daily with pictures from my gold plated iphone.
I just hope the FASit cards are issued by Visa exclusively.
Sorry. Apple will be acquired by the Government of China. It will be renamed “CHI-PHONE” aka “Burrito Call box”
I want tea with platinum flakes in it
That was a great bedtime story Uncle Fly……when does the princess and her unicorn come in?……can I have a glass of milk?
Oh yeah, this shit is like so oversold. For 3 easy payments of $29.95 I’ll send you a dvd on how to buy silver.
For the record, I continually have problems solving the ‘spam protection’ puzzles.
Nymph
Do not mock the future.
OK Uncle Fly…..
Direxion’s 3x ETF conjurers will eventually be caught skating around Rockefeller in the middle of an aggressive public FASturbation.
Having a hard time finding latest news on BP Kill procedure. Any recommendations?
Update: http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE64P6ZS20100526
I have a feeling no news is bad news. I figga they wil thump chests and shout to the world upon stoppage
Here we go.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE64Q0B920100527
Jeff saut of raymond james has had a decent write up or 2 lately quoting some historical market stuff… suggesting that we flutter around down here for a few weeks. Long bottoming process.
Seems reasonable
Breaking: Jake finally reveals why he’s got more love for the miners than the fizzacal (sic).
_________________
GDP?
You cant fix a bankrupt country by adding more debt to the system. It is exactly the wrong thing to do. not to say they wont do it.
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/europes-latest-fashion-rage-the-austere-look-2010-05-27?pagenumber=1
The politicians would rather run the printing presses than tell people to work harder. You don’t get many votes for trying to get people to work their way out of recession. Leadership is a non-existant commodity.
So what’s wrong with running the printing presses? Especially when there is NO INFLATION?
ibankcoin shall acquire CNBC and turn Squawk Box into a game show where contestants shake boxes of turkeys for prizes.
There’s always time for a burger
If you make somebody’s government paycheck smaller, they will riot and blame the government.
If you print money, causing inflation, they will shrug and blame the economy.
“If you print money, causing inflation, they will shrug and blame the economy,”
but eventually they will riot and blame anyone and everyone.
Futures, euro look quite strong. Did someone solve Europe?
Locke turned the wheel and it disappeared.
Since the internets are reporting such great news I thinks I will go long every stock on the NYSE…I’ll make me a killing
Well tomorrow we should finally get to see the Battle Royal Play out with Bulls and Bears….We get GDP data….how the heck is the market going to react?? I have no idea……I do know we are set up to test 50% support of all time of the Eur/USD at 1.2132ish…..if we take it out…..timber…..if we rally we have a lot of room to run on one big short squeeze…..Well Barton Briggs is eating a 10.000 hamburger tonight, (fwiw I was not a fan of Hedge Hog at all)……………………………………..Tonight should chop cuz we are all waiting for the Main Event…….can’t wait…..big point is 1079ish like has been all week……..I love this game so much, but I am one darn Stock Junkie…only fustrating thing that could happen tomorrow is that data causes no reaction….even Inline could spark a fuse.
As u can see by the jump in the futures, people have read my blog and responded in kind to this future news
Quite a jump for this time of morning.
Dangit. Didn’t they do that last night too?
Someone needs to photoshop a picture of Baby Bush giving the thumbs up in a Navy Seal diving suit in front of the BP leak with a MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner. That’ll shoot the markets up another 3% pronto.
Why am I still holding onto VXX and SRS? Hedges. Shrubs. Bush. Somehow this is all connected, I’m sure of it. 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon on my $10, er $16,000 Royale with Cheese, if you please.
The future can not be changed.
If we don’t get chopped up by Japanese mall barbers in the immediate term we will get a respite to the tune of 5-8% just in time for the due date of the California Budget on June 15.
A couple of notes from my Brooklyn trip:
1) Spumoni Gardens Pizza is an interesting concept; pretty tasty pizza. Their ice cream was dreadfully overhyped by my nephews.
2) Sofia’s (formerly nine other names in the last 15 years) was best when it was Mezzanotte (I think about 10 years ago or so)
3) The cops are getting real cool about shit; my bro in law made an illegal U-turn right in front of one–nothing done. They’re still letting you double park everywhere.
4) Still impossible to park anywhere near the kid’s baseball/softball fields.
5) Bagel Boy still has the best bagels on the map
6) Looking forward to my next visit in June
7) My ex-fiancee got more botox; WTF? She’s only 30.
Only 30, but still a Zombie.
Good point, Boom.
Are you still her her then as it doesn’t sound she’s that much of an ex.
Let the motherfucking melt up resume.
I told you that shit last night was a SCAM! And now its like it never happened.
The more times they can drop this bad boy down to 1050 and empty out folks pockets, they will.
Until one time, they won’t. They’ll just run it straight back up.
Best to be well positioned for this last part.
Time to make the donuts.
Wondering if the future police have ever given you a ticket in your time machine?
Lol, exactly how much fun did you have with this post, on a scale of “1” to “completely wasted”
Wonderful post !
btw The S&P has found a new currency pair that it likes – AUD/USD … This is all you need to watch – for it has all the answers you seek.
The time machine is working perfectly. Odd no?
Q: Hedge fund managers will wear tailor made suits, that expose their private anatomy, because they can..
By far the funniest thing I’ve read this a.m. I look forward to a glance at their Dangling Participials.
Line um up..I’ll go with the guy over there. Yeah, that one that blinds me when I take a glance.