iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,473 Blog Posts

BUSH DID IT

I left a brimming cup of coffee on my windowsill and it got cold, after just 5 minutes. You know, George Bush and his diabolical weather weapons are getting annoying. Case in point: how much snow did we get this winter?

Answer: Exactly.

To make matters worse, now, he’s globetrotting the world, fucking up fault lines and shit, causing earthquakes. You know another thing Bush did?

Answer: He created the stock market rally, off the March of 2009 lows—despite the fact that Obama was President. Bush still did it. As a matter of fact, today is the 1 year anniversary of the market bottom, which makes today Bush’s birthday, in a very stupid sense, if you know what I mean. No, scratch that. Today is Bush’s anniversary for saving the world from total financial collapse.

However, the one thing that has me stumped, if Bush saved us from financial collapse, why the fuck is he precipitating all of those earthquakes and melting the fucking ice caps? I mean, isn’t that a bit of a “dual mandate”? Maybe he has personality issues, not so much different than Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.

As for the market:

This low volatility, steady grind higher, will end VERY SOON, leaving most of you goat fuckers in a pickle jar. Once again, boring ol’ Fly wants to be long [[TLT]] , into the pending correction, since Bernanke wants your money—and he wants it now.

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73 comments

  1. Two Cent

    This market seems to moving sideways, but gradually going up.
    We keep waiting for a downturn, and
    I’m not sure were going to get it.

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  2. Le Fly

    Kidstock

    How about when you wiped your acct out in 2 short weeks, for all to see in the pg?

    Refrain from giving financial advice to SAM

    Thanks

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    • DMG

      HA ha!

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    • kidstock

      Easy come…easy go. I will be swinging a large account again shortly.

      Sorry to say but aside for a couple of posters this site is no better than Real Money — especially with the New Pussified Fly.

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  3. Le Fly

    Lies!!!

    The urinal shadow is at a strip club now.

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    • UrinalShadow

      The Urinal Shadow does not frequent low life strip clubs with it’s nasty bathrooms. The Urinal shadow likes to hang out at classy places like The Masa Restaurant or the fancy bathrooms near the expensive apartments on Central Park West.

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  4. Le Fly

    People are crashing their toyotas on purpose now, in hopes of settlements. Fucking disgusting people in this world.

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  5. Le Fly

    The urinal shadow talks like mr grady, from the shining.

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  6. Rand

    You know, at one time, I used to own my own paint and body shop. I found that the milk of human kindness is left at the shop doors. Not mine, of course, because I did more for my customers than they paid for when I worked on their vehicles. Little old ladies turned into godzillas, church people know how to swear better than common criminals, and everyone expects perfection for the money they think is enough for their expectations. I did this for 12 years until I almost had a mental collapse trying to sadistfy(sp?) their fuckin unreal dreams. Try it sometime, your friends will surprise you, and you will understand. I guess that the politicians and fed are like the old ladies and church people, they swear better than they understand what they see. Its not possible to create perfection, but if it looks good, do not mess with it.

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  7. redvetttes

    he needs it now

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  8. Milktrader

    Absofrikinlutely hilarious.

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  9. skogie1

    Fly, I finally cracked and bought VXX today. Stupid or prescient? Holding TLT right alongside you and the other smart kids in the room and raising cash while employing a few strategic short sales. What are the rest of y’all doing?

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  10. Frank White

    Coorections are for asshats. Engine room more TZOO!

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  11. The Fly

    I can’t short, since I am programmed to say THIS IS A LONG ONLY MARKET.

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    • JakeGint

      Never short a boring market*.

      __________

      * Ancillary: Stop having a boring life.*

      ____________

      * Ancillary: TLT.

      __________

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  12. Dirk Diggler

    Don’t go short. Go long FAZ.

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  13. Ol Jack Burton

    Bernie also wants you to buy the gubmint’s Citigroup shares.

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  14. The Fly

    Touche.

    No thanks. The FAZmobile is reserved for lesser minds. I will stick with my harmless underperformance, until the shadows near my favorite urinal tell me to get back in.

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  15. monaybot

    meh i think the TLT is a good play

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  16. Unemployed

    My realtor just told me to knock off 10k on the asking price of my place…Done! Right after I take a position in DRV @ 10.39

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    • DMG

      Realtors are for asshats

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    • FuckMeI'mDead

      I do not have to lower the price of my home to sell. It is lowered automatically to the tune of $10-15k a month. $35k down since Jan and over 60 % – $350K since the peak. To celebrate the lower valuations, Palm Beach County raised my property taxes 10%. After losing my business last year I was going to sell the house and move out of Fl. Fat chance. The area I live in with a population of about 35,000 was designated a “Pediatric Cancer Cluster” and nobody can figure out what is causing the increase in cancer cases. We now have Erin Brockavich signing people up for class action suits while the search for a corporate entity to balme this on continues. Pratt Whitney is being targeted along with some orange grove owners that at one time owned most of the land here. Door to door salesmen selling cancer insurance. Hundreds of vacant, foreclosed houses. The banks will not write mortgages on any house here even if you have a qualified buyer with a good job, good credit and 25 % down. People are walking away even if they are not in financial trouble while others are demanding the county provide city water ($10-20k per house) and others hold meetings demanding a govt, bailout. WTF??? We will be showcased on Dr. Oz today at 3pm to let the entire fucking country know not to move here. What a great place to live! Anyway, if anyone is interested in a 3800 sq ft custom home out in the woods on 1 1/2 acres in western Palm Beach County where you can wake to the roaring lions feeding at nearby Lion Country Safari let me know. Its a great place to raise your kids. If they live.

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      • MOOBS

        I can point you to a specific ticker responsible for the cancer.

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      • NapalmedandonFire
        NapalmedandonFire

        I like the description but does it come with free cancer?

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        • FuckMeI'mDead

          Moobs……????? I would be interested to know. If its something you do not want to post publically, I will post a private Email adress.
          Napalm,
          I believe my home is cancer free. I have lived here for 22 yrs, long before the other 34,000 moved here. I raised 2 boys here and thank God they are healthy and living elsewhere. I do not think they will be able to pin point a cause. Some suspect radon in the water. If so that is easily corrected. Some suspect toxic dumping/pesticides. Some suspect Bush. Some suspect the cancer rates are no different than other areas. Whatever it is, this has destroyed many families, physically, emotionally and financially. Me, I really dont give a shit. My home is worthless, lost my business after 28 yrs. and I own 3 Toyotas. Nowhere to go but UP!

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          • Yossarian

            at least you’ve still got your sense of humor.

            “…and i own 3 Toyotas”

            nice one

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          • JakeGint

            Fug me, my mom lives off A1-A well south of there, but we go to that Lion Safari thing almost every year we go down to visit.

            Went to Butterfly World this year, though… whew!

            __________

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          • Po Pimp

            She live near Beachfront Avenue?

            Vanilla Ice FTW!!!

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          • JakeGint

            Ocean Blvd, pikerish.

            _______

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  17. Prospectus

    Fear the Beard. He giveth low rates and he can taketh away–AND MORE. Thou shalt have no other beards before him. Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of asshat money managers, we shall fear no evil. His discount rates and bullshit TARP programs, they comfort us. Surely the Fly shall bank coin all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of iBC forever.

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  18. mrkcbill

    Fly how do you like your burlap white robe and Velcro Crox!

    Querstion…..Did you go Long BWLD

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  19. Unemployed

    Jeez,bears gettin less love then Ben Roethlisberger…Bulls pimpin Hugh Heffner style!

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  20. mrkcbill

    Whatever CSCO has to say today…..S ant T agree with it!

    CSCO buy the news fucker! Costanza owns this market!

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  21. kidstock

    Reminds me of when I called you out for prematurely selling out around SPX 750 last year. Man up and buy some stocks…

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  22. TA

    Lots of great setups but I’m taking a pass as the risk is too high right now.

    I am still very long here, slowly reducing

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  23. Unemployed

    VNO has closed green 15 out of the last 17 days…What crash???

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  24. UrinalShadow

    The Urinal Shadow says: Buy SDS.

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  25. xxxHuggieBearxxx
    xxxHuggieBearxxx

    I am starting to seriously fucking resent this market.

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    • JakeGint

      Stop flicking that butane lighter, then.

      ___________

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      • xxxHuggieBearxxx
        xxxHuggieBearxxx

        I am starting to think you may be correct.

        Still, i will hold until the market breaks to new highs. Then i will cave.

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  26. Frank White

    You see that selloff in CSCO, holy crap that was scary.

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  27. Andrew

    I just saw a comment that we’re not going to see a downturn. If you don’t classify $13 trillion national debt, $1.5 trillion deficit, $1 trillion trade deficit, $107 trillion in unfunded liabilities and expenditures, and a worthless Dollar, then what is a downturn? Another catastrophe is coming up.

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  28. Skeptical

    they’re setting it up to fall during OPEX week — to maximize the short profits and allow them to bid it up.

    all major swings take place on opex week. it’s been a pattern for almost a year now…

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  29. xxxHuggieBearxxx
    xxxHuggieBearxxx

    Somebody needs to bring this goddamn market to it’s knees. This is turning into an abomination.

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  30. Obama World

    From Obama Realty – Can’t sell your home? Underwater in your mortgage? No problem. Obama Realty will bail you out – no charge! Call 1-800 – Obama World.

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  31. Frank White

    Abby J, fair value 1250-1300. Get in there and buy bitches.

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  32. YaBollox

    Bernanke wants my money?
    He can run his printing press an extra 2 seconds and have more.

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  33. TraderCaddy

    And more Obama policy.
    Following up with radical “environmental” (and I use the term loosely) groups, it is being reported by ESPN that much of the fishing done by recreational and commercial types will be banned.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/outdoors/saltwater/news/story?id=4975762

    I guess it’s part of his jobs (losing) program.

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  34. BernieCornfeld

    http://i.imgur.com/ucvng.jpg

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  35. xxxHuggieBearxxx
    xxxHuggieBearxxx

    Is this market really going to rise to new highs on no volume, only 27% below the peak of a bubble that took 10 years to blow? With housing prices still declining, employment still declining? Yes, i know both of those things are beginning to moderate. But seriously, 27% down from the peak – a peak where housing prices were rising to the stratosphere, where EVERYONE had a job, where financial institutions were raping and pillaging – how could we possibly be that close to the bubble peak valuation given the disparity between that situation and now?

    I agree, things are probably getting better. Ok, fine. Or at least getting worse at a much slower rate. But now you’ve got AJ Cohen talking about us ending the year only 10% down from the peak? There is some real craziness going on….

    But hey — Cisco launched a new router — that’s worth another trill in market valuation.

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    • Sebaco

      Interest rates are at 0% and there is no inflation, therefore stocks are a buy.

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      • xxxHuggieBearxxx
        xxxHuggieBearxxx

        Such nuanced thinking….

        They are a buy, until one morning the rug is pulled out from under everyone, “valuations have become too ‘rich'”, and portugal is risking default.

        I’ll pass at this level, at this moment

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    • rd

      Exactly. So don’t go buy TLT, don’t “go to cash”…f-ing short everything.

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  36. Goldie

    Come on “fly” Bush caused those earthquakes to boost construction and steel stocks.

    Long FLR

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  37. JakeGint

    Light that candle!!

    _________

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  38. xxxHuggieBearxxx
    xxxHuggieBearxxx

    I just had this sudden urge to go long so as not to miss out on the 20% upside miss AJ Cohen has promised. I shit you not – it started as a tingle and ended up a full on urge.

    That means, with a good deal of certainty, that this market is about to roll over. Keep your eyes peeled.

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    • Bobby Boucher

      Sounds like you need a timeout, dude. Seriously. I managed to get only 70% long at the end of the last selling stampede in February and have been kicking myself for leaving 30% in cash (now 35% in cash). But you’re gonna get blow’d the fuck up the way you’re chasing the market lately.

      fid

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  39. Unemployed

    “Right after I take a position in DRV @ 10.39″….I’m hurtin ovah here

    Oh to all job posters who add “LOCAL CANDIDATES ONLY” – FUK YOU!!!

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  40. UrinalShadow

    A Toyota just crashed into the Bathroom and did damage to the urinal next to me. I am glad to report that I am okay although we are having a flood.

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