News of Armageddon Pounds the Dow for 0.63%

So let’s review today’s events:

We are all going to die from some pig fucking virus.

The military thought it made sense to buzz NYC skyscrapers with COMMERCIAL airplanes.

On top of the pig fucking flu, Mexico gets nailed with a 6.0 earthquake, yet here I am buying stocks.

While it’s true, commercial real estate names got clown raped for 11%+. It’s also true, tech sort of just yawned off the end of times rumors. Pardon me for minimizing this “Swine Flu,” but 40,000 people die from the flu annually. I think it’s kind of lame/ stupid to start wearing face masks and avoid eating at Taco Bell, based upon 150 deaths, none of which occurred in a 1st tier country.

At the end of the day, I lost some coin today, but feel confident that I am on the right side of the tape.

NOTE: I like the action in both CAVM and ATHR.

The odds of a worldwide pandemic breaking out, while the world is in recession, thanks to a banking collapse, is so far fetched, you have to fade it. Really, you fuckers are just waiting, circle jerking even, for the end of times. If you want to die so badly, go sign up for a war or some shit.

As for me, I am buying this dip with two hands and three legs, long CROX, SONS, DELL, OVTI, LVLT and ERX. However, it’s worth noting, I cut a loss in TBSI and took egregious profits in STAR (half position).

Look, I can’t short CRE, while the sector is down to the tune of 10% intra-day. I can’t short banks, because I am afraid of government fuckery. How can I short tech, while AAPL, RIMM and DELL go higher everyday? At this moment in time, the bears best hope is for a fucking pandemic to start killing people WW2 style. I can’t get behind such idiocy.

Nonetheless, people will take the path of least resistance and may continue to sell into the bell. I would not be surprised to see a lower open tomorrow too. But, at the end of the day, I am comfortable giving the rally the benefit of the doubt, mainly because “The Swine Trade” is absurd and fucking ridiculous.

The textbook says to take some money off the table, considering people might get panicky off this swine shit and we are entering May. Wall Street is very superstitious when it comes to seasonality, as evidenced by annual Oct-Nov. fuckery and “Santa Claus rallies.”

With my money, I am looking to milk this bear market rally, until the last drop. I am keeping a close eye on banks, trannies, CRE and tech. For the most part, all but tech is getting slammed today, especially CRE. I am tempted to sell short [[ACC]] or [[VNO]] here. But, I am also cognizant of murderous late date short squeezes.

Look, the bears have been dead wrong for 2 month and counting. They are in a state of shock, with regards to this rally and are reeling from large capital losses. Believe me, a lot of my “smart friends” are not answering their phones anymore and are likely seeking solace inside of their local place of worship.

As for me: I am a kite in the wind. I bought a little DELL and CROX, but nothing else. I might buy more SONS, providing the market firms up. I regret selling ODP and buying TBSI: not all trades will be winners. For now, I am sticking with my positions, but will dump them whenever I feel my position is a loser.

I have about 10% in cash reserves and will leverage that, if needed, in order to hedge my positions, prior to liquidating them. To sum up my feelings: I am still greedy, but always mindful of knife wielding clowns out to take my wallet.

UPDATE: I sold out of TBSI, just south of $8.

I bought 10,000 DELL @$11.25 and 10,000 CROX @ $2.20.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you visit a Mexican pigsty, you will get “THE SWINE.” And, you will lose money.

Not even a pandemic can keep this market down. Fuck all of the worrying about dying, via egregious strain of the flu. There are stocks to buy and money to make.

To be honest, I had plans to buy some flu stocks, like [[NVAX]], [[BCRX]] or [[SVA]]; but too many people piled in. If you are long some flu plays, you should be more afraid of the potential downside in your investment, than catching the virus itself.

I am feeling the love in LVLT, but not so much in CROX. For the most part, the market is treating “The Fly” as it should, with respect and dignity. At these levels, I like DELL, ATHR, NVLS, LVLT, CROX and SONS.

It’s time to roast a few bear balls on the barbie.

Lenny Dykstra was born in Canada. That should settle the petty, idiotic Canada versus U.S. debate in the message boards. Once again, the sooner you fuckers realize that your opinion means nothing, the happier you will be not giving it.

As for the markets:

I am a bit worried about this Swine Flu bullshit. I mean, the economy cannot handle a fucking pandemic right now. With that in mind, I will probably get long a variety of “flu plays.” I provided a good list on PPT.

For now, chill the fuck out and enjoy the weather. Go eat some BBQ pig and tell some illegal Mexicans to wash their hands.

UPDATE:

Gretzky House!

Indeed Update:

Bro Update:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjvH3JI5y30 550 400]

In the words of a true legend, Leonard Dykstra, “I made cash, bro, all thanks to my cashmere, dude. It was the fucking cashmere (fart) that made the market go up.”

Contrary to what you may think, I do not like all of the giddy, school girl shit, which is infused into current market sentiment. Eventually, the magic carpet will be taken from you lucky bastards,absconding all of your principal with it.

However, until that day comes, I will enjoy, with great vigor and tenacity, kicking you idiot bearshitters, into large murderholes, whereby your carcasses will be devoured by rogue robot crocodiles.

For the day, I made coin. You should be concerned with the affairs of “The Fly,” for he is way out of your league. Just know, my gains reach close to 30%, year to date, and my book of business has never been better.

Tonight, I intend to dine on a 2 1/2 inch ribeye, medium, heavily salted, lightly peppered—washed down with a fine Bordeaux.

In light of the stupid stress test non-results, I am taking off some risk here, selling ALU, JDSU, amongst others.

Clarification: I am taking profits on some names, while buying others. In other words, I sold ALU/JDSU, but bought some ATHR ($16.68). I own a lot of small caps and need to eventually unwind them, in order to preserve gains/not give any back and get back to normal stocks aka stocks with market caps worth more than 2 billion.

UPDATE: I bought 5,000 CECO @ $21.59, 5,000 ATHR @ $16.68 and 10,000 PCX @ $5.01.

UPDATE II: One more small crap buy, 30,000 LVLT @ $1.07.

UPDATE III: I sold out of ASX.

UPDATE IV: I bought 10,000 ATHR @ $16.90

–Done for the day.