iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,433 Blog Posts

Bears Step Into Glorious Murderholes

In the words of a true legend, Leonard Dykstra, “I made cash, bro, all thanks to my cashmere, dude. It was the fucking cashmere (fart) that made the market go up.”

Contrary to what you may think, I do not like all of the giddy, school girl shit, which is infused into current market sentiment. Eventually, the magic carpet will be taken from you lucky bastards,absconding all of your principal with it.

However, until that day comes, I will enjoy, with great vigor and tenacity, kicking you idiot bearshitters, into large murderholes, whereby your carcasses will be devoured by rogue robot crocodiles.

For the day, I made coin. You should be concerned with the affairs of “The Fly,” for he is way out of your league. Just know, my gains reach close to 30%, year to date, and my book of business has never been better.

Tonight, I intend to dine on a 2 1/2 inch ribeye, medium, heavily salted, lightly peppered—washed down with a fine Bordeaux.

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62 comments

  1. mustard seeds

    Seemingly, an almost WTF movement in the last 15 minutes

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  2. Jed

    mrkcbill invented the term “manscaping” during a sleepover at the Zombie’s house.

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  3. StockGuy09

    Way to stick to your guns in the face of all the haters & doubters here crowing about Monday’s drop. You’re like Kanye West.

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  4. At Ruth’s? 2 1/2 inch steak? FAZ ripped upwards 8% in the last 15 minutes in a fit of desperation.

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  5. Ruth’s is fuckin’ BANKRUPT. Like their tough steaks.

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  6. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    THIS JUST FUCKING IN! Lenny Dykstra gets the fucking boot!

    http://www.businessinsider.com/thestreetcom-dumps-lenny-dykstra-2009-4

    Deep in the money calls!

    I guess Cramer had enough, NAILS!!!! Bro your like 92 and Oh and they dumped you? What the fuck?

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  7. Q4

    Successful – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3D8Cty1Ipk

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  8. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Hey bro check out my life you will never have a 12 inch cock like me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CGXqRsqr6I

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  9. The Fly

    Gapping

    That very well could be the greatest video ever created.

    Thanks, bro.

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  10. jeff

    Try some Himalayian sea salt Fly man.

    http://www.saltworks.us fine himalayian pink

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  11. T MOE

    Get ready to laugh. Laugh all you want but in the end I win.

    Here are T MOE’s holdings
    40% cash
    40% short
    20% long

    Short SPY at 86.50
    Short MS at 24.30
    SRS average cost basis 38.20
    FAZ average cost basis 11.86
    TBT average cost basis 44.43
    TWM average cost basis 60.02

    A few longs that I hold
    HYG average cost 69.30
    UNH average cost 21.50
    VR average cost 20.02

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  12. JakeGint

    Holy crap, I thought that vid was a parody at first… but it was straight!

    How … how… could they seriously show that poor dumb ox in front of a monitor and have the background smarmer saying:

    So Lenny took a year off to “master the markets…”

    Did he make that vid himself??

    I mean, it’s like he had a stroke or something….

    ___________

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  13. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Fly, bro, I think I may get a Maybach today myself with all this cash, after all today is my birthday.

    I mastered the markets in a year dude, this is where the big dog sits.

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  14. The Fly

    Jeff

    I have all that shit, being an avid wfmi shopper.

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  15. TraderCaddy

    With all of that chew stuffed into his cheek I am surprised he doesn’t have a cancer hole as big as the Grand Canyon.
    Probably needs a little time.

    And let that be a lesson to you Little Leaguers.
    Chew sunflower seeds.

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  16. The Fly

    Bro’s

    With my new money, I will lease a g5, in order to needlessly travel the country, bro.

    The high life.

    Anyone have 23k for gas? I’ll pay you back 30 in June

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  17. wilmer

    While reading that article was anyone struck by how Fly-like Dykstra’s behavior and language was? Or maybe it’s the other way around?

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  18. The Fly

    Wilmer

    Fuck off, I don’t talk like that monkey.

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  19. Goin'Fawr

    RE:”Anyone have 23k for gas? I’ll pay you back 30 in June”
    Done, Jake! Will you take bullion?

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  20. Goin'Fawr

    er “Done, FLY” Appy Polly Logies to thee and thine. (What was I thinking?)

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  21. TraderCaddy

    Dykstra looks a little like Nellie Fox of the ’59 White Sox who I admired as a kid.
    At least Fox was classy.

    http://thompsonian.info/colts-nellie-fox-1964-giant-card.JPG

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  22. Jarret

    How come the PPT told me to buy all these shorts to hedge my portfolio…..actually that was my own judgement….if I had only followed the FLY ad PPT a little closer.

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  23. The Fly

    PPT said nothing of the sort.

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  24. JakeGint

    TC — was that one of the cards that Mom threw away?

    And have you let her out of the basement yet?

    ____

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  25. The Fly

    PPT has banked coin for all who were listening these last few weeks.

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  26. JakeGint

    And Alpha alone has banked enough coin to put another wing on the log cabin library in Cheyenne, WY.

    __________

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  27. JakeGint

    At least Obama is not Hooverian on trade policy.

    Thank heavens for small blessings.

    _______

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  28. TraderCaddy

    Yes, it was one of those cards. I had the whole ’59 White Sox including Lollar,Aparicio,Early Wynn, etc.
    I had thousands in shoe boxes and remember chewing all of that stale crunchy gum (Topps).
    All gone.

    But I still have my autographed baseball containing signatures of Lou Boudreau,Ron Santo,Billy Williams and a bunch of other Cubbies.

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  29. ticktrade

    i asked fly about this kunal guy and he said that stupid fucker was copying his trades everyone needs to call that bastard out and put a end to it people are putting him on videocasts and he gives flys picks every time he goes on look for your self http://www.wsmco.com

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  30. starving artist

    The Fly, Bordeaux, eh. I am curious about what you like: vintages, chateaux, top bottles.

    Thanks and cheers.

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  31. So, Lenny was losing while it appeared that he was winnng? Vinny is looking for Lenny…..with a baseball bat…..something about a debt.

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  32. starving artist Says:

    The Fly, Bordeaux, eh. I am curious about what you like: vintages, chateaux, top bottles.

    Thanks and cheers.
    *******************************************
    Gallo and Crane Lake 2007. They are good enough.

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  33. JakeGint

    Have to resubmit this piece of sheer genius, courtesy of “Goin’ Fawr” and from the other post, where I think few saw it:
    __________________

    (to the tune of the old Spiderman tv show theme song)

    DevilDog, DevilDog,
    Does whatever a trader can.
    Buys some stock,
    Overpriced,
    If he was Inuit,
    He’d buy ice.
    Look out:
    Here comes the DevilDog.

    Devildog,Devildog
    Smarmy neighbourhood Devildog.
    Wealth and fame?
    He’s ignored.
    Losing coin is his reward.
    Look out:
    There goes the Devildog.

    In the chill of the night
    At the scene of gold mines,
    Like a streaking wight,
    His calls are wrong,
    and badly timed.

    Devildog,Devildog,
    Unfriendly neighbourhood Devildog.
    Take a look, overhead,
    His neck is swinging,
    From a thread
    Look out: there goes the devildog.

    Wherever there’s a stock down,
    And the wise have left town,
    You’ll find the DEeevilll Daaaawg!

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  34. Damon

    Fly:

    Be careful if you go out to eat a fat steak…the cook might sneeze on your food.

    In addition, you might want to start wearing a facemask, and wash thy hands often to prevent dying of the swine flu pandemic about to wipe out 60% of the population:

    http://www.drudgereport.com/

    Seriously scary shit.(a must read!)

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  35. AI

    you know those degenerate OTB guys that you always talk about, your becoming one of them. What happen to you buying shit like CROX and SONS hoping for a lottery ticket or a short squeeze please get back to reflecting on make real money with real companies.

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  36. The Fly

    No never

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  37. JakeGint

    This is gold!

    ________

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  38. firstadopter

    The crazy thing though is Obama said buy the stock market when SP500 at 700 because “profit to earnings ratios” were low (isn’t that always 1? LOL). He nailed it better than anyone. Crazy Costanza world.

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  39. j

    In the words of a true legend, Leonard Dykstra, “I made cash, bro, all thanks to my cashmere, dude. It was the fucking cashmere (fart) that made the market go up.”

    I read that a few times and I couldn’t figure out why he thought it was the cashmere that helped him make money. Anyone know?

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  40. Tampa Trader

    are the blog tabs fixed or do they get moved around based upon who has a hot hand at the moment. Any way to highlight when one of the guys is on a nice stock picking run?
    thanks

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  41. Goin'Fawr

    Hey Jake, thanks for the accolades. Right back atcha!

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  42. Juice

    sentimentrader – Hmmm…large specs in NDX e-mini futures at their most net long since October 2007.

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  43. Al Gore is really stupid and a con man and he is trying to cost everybody in the world more taxes. Nanci Pelosi is really stupid (must be something about the demorat party) and is trying to stir the muslims up even more so they will kill our military. I could go down the list – Obama, Dodd, Frank, et al, but WTF, with people like these running Washington DC, are we doomed, or not?

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  44. arnoldsimage

    there’s no doubt dykstra is under the gun. but i’ll say this, he brought his “A” game every night he came to the park.

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  45. j

    Anon

    Alglutton is a complete douchebag. The fat piece of shit is a college dropout and now is a climate scientist.

    Pelosi is the stupidest woman in Congress

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  46. j

    how about an asshat award ffs? We haven’t had one in donkey’s.

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  47. Damon

    You guys realize there ain’t no hearses with luggage racks, right?

    Swine + Fowl + Human Influenza all mixed up=Mexican/Americana Death

    You read it here, first:

    http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE53O0MW20090425

    I always wish for the best, but prepare for the worst.

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  48. DPeezy

    I’m sure many of you have heard or are playing ESPN’s Streak for the Cash game…tomorrow they’re running a special for the draft. Might as well play along if you’re going to watch:
    http://streak.espn.go.com/

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  49. j

    Dog:

    I know it’s you handing out those negative votes. I can smell from 12,000 miles away you dick.

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  50. Goin'Fawr

    How is that some Californian underground punk band from the early eighties can so clearly describe what is happening to the US today? Oh I know: some things never change… Trust Your Mechanic

    “And the Rich eat you!”

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  51. omfgitsjd

    What is this guy on? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmC3dexPmM0&feature=channel

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  52. omfgitsjd

    Genetic analysis shows the flu strain is a never-before-seen mixture of swine, human and avian viruses.

    This is obviously a result of the pork pulloff the other day. Get out the body boxes, fire up the FEMA camps, and bring out your dead.

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  53. Generational BOTTOM Picker
    Generational BOTTOM Picker

    omfgitsjd Says:

    What is this guy on? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmC3dexPmM0&feature=channel

    *****************************************

    Why doesn’t this stupid bastard put on a shirt if he wants to be taken seriously?

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  54. Don't mean to rain on your small crap parade, but ...

    http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601213&sid=au8cyqeJFifg&refer=home

    Insiders from New York Stock Exchange-listed companies sold $8.32 worth of stock for every dollar bought in the first three weeks of April, according to Washington Service, which analyzes stock transactions of corporate insiders for more than 500 institutional clients.

    That’s the fastest rate of selling since October 2007, when U.S. stocks peaked and the 17-month bear market that wiped out more than half the market value of U.S. companies began. The $42.5 million in insider purchases through April 20 would represent the smallest amount for a full month since July 1992, data going back more than 20 years show. That drop preceded a 2.4 percent slide in the S&P 500 in August 1992.

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  55. Lenny Dykstra

    The Fly will invite me to accompany him on his G5 whirlwind tour of the country, but you Fucks will not be invited. I may do a guest appearance here just to help you pathetic losers out of pity. Hell, most of you cannot spell. I live in the greatest house in the world and you do not.

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  56. The Real hmmmmm

    We would always go to Lenny’s old house on Halloween in hope of receiving baseball cards or some pine tar and shit. Thankfully he only took like a third of our pillowcases of chocolate because, dude, bro, if Lenny is going to score runs for the Phillies he needs all the energy he can get.

    Here’s the pre-Gretsky house when he played for the Phillies and was actually earning money, not losing or stealing it.

    http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=236+chester+road,+devon,+pa&sll=34.067183,-118.409486&sspn=0.009563,0.019312&ie=UTF8&t=h&layer=c&cbll=40.040518,-75.423661&panoid=PCSceXwaLAVpzCyVW1GrpQ&cbp=12,145.8685985508418,,0,12.399999999999997&ll=40.040481,-75.423755&spn=0.001105,0.002414&z=19&iwloc=A

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  57. Keyser Soze

    These quotes from enviro-nuts are amusing if Glenn Beck is quoting them accurately.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh8HguEjUDU

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  58. JakeGint

    Apologies to Fly et al…. following are comments that have been repeatedly “eaten” whilst trying to post in response to Cuervo’s manifesto in the PeeG. I hope they will work here______________________

    In answer to Lazy’s query of why this post is not blog-worthy:

    1) The post is replete with easily correctable spelling and grammar erreurs (sic). An editorial sweep is always appreciated before “send” in these halls. Attention to detail tends to be become more important in more substantive comments to follow.

    2) This is merely a rehash of some ongoing Anti-U.S./pro-Canadian themes, which — factual or not — tends to wear on the mostly American audience gathered herein.

    Moreover, given the subsidiary nature of the Canadian economy, and the overhead costs covered therein by the American economy through which Canada has benefitted substantially over the boom period between 1983-2000, it strikes me (and other Americans) as unseemly to find you wagging your finger at us when that source of bounty is impaired.

    Without the willingness of the American people to subsidize the Canadian welfare state via defense coverage (do you know how little the Canadian gov’t spends for its own defense?), health care innovation (your state receives cut rate pricing for American drugs, and our hospitals are increasingly assisting your citizens) and consumption-based growth, your Trudeaupian experiment would have caught up with you long ago. Rather than the relative prosperity you have enjoyed under the American umbrella, you would have experienced the same economic growth rates — and unemployment rates — as your socialist brethren on the Continent.

    Given the above, I don’t think it’s beyond the pale to believe a casual American reader might liken your offensively patronizing hectoring to the pond leech crying out about the decreased bloodflow from his gunshot host. It’s not exactly sympathy engendering.

    3) There are serious logical flaws in your argument. You cry out against US banks that have been allowed to become “too big to fail,” and while I tend to agree with your sentiment here, I wonder how you can make the plaint from a state that contains only five gigantasaurian banks, and which will not countenance the competition a free banking system might support. Canada claims that these five banks are sufficient to support their market system, but any Econ 101 student will tell you artificially limited markets — and Canada limits their banks via number and draconian regulation — will lead to shortages, and inefficiency in pricing and production. One asks — how does the Canadian economy escape such hazard as proven in these limitations?

    The answer leads us to the greatest irony of all with regards to Cuervo’s Complaint, and a furthering of my issues in #2. One of the greatest “crutches” to the Canadian economy, through which the large and small private companies that have been successful throughout the boom have benefitted, is its easy access to the American banking and capital markets system.

    I do agree with one point — Canada has no greater friend than the U.S. — and “diversifying” your economy to other failing socialist states, or to China or India or other less “NA” friendly clime is not going to rescue you from the unemployment and inflation hinging on your US-dependency.

    The only thing that will cure your economy is taking it back from the government those self-imposed inhibitors whose true effects have been muffled by your proximity to a vibrant economic superpower. You at least have that “slack” with which to play.

    In conclusion, I say to my Canadian socialist friends (the non-socialist Prairie guys already know of what I speak) — cast blame if it soothes that chip on your shoulder, but keep in mind that the US now needs you to be something you have not been to us for some time now — a faithful ally and friend again.

    ________________

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  59. The Fly

    Holy shit jake. No fucking point in responding cuervo. He fucking dumped you into a murderhole.

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  60. The Fly

    Pardon. At kids track on bberry. I meant lazy.

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  61. JakeGint

    I don’t know what you are on about.

    My post was originally in response to Cuervo.

    Only the failure of technology (which I now realize was an ibc failure and not a C’berry problem) introduced Lazy’s pre-emptory response.

    I suggest you have that looked into.

    Your support, however, is duly noted.

    ___

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