Get Your Hurricane Hats Ready

Before you know it, my favorite time of the year will be upon us: “DEACON OF DEATH SEASON” aka Hurricane Season. I’d be remiss if I did not prepare the iBC readership for ‘Cane of Death plays. For the love of waterbugs and rice, I even hired the services of a real life meteorologist for my reading satisfaction. As you can see, clearly, Senor Tropicana is not fucking around when it comes to the weather. It’s a pet peeve of mine.

God willing, 2009 will produce a hurricane season of sheer chaos for the natural gas industry. I would like to see a severe disruption, even a Force Majeure, strike at the hearts of the natural gas fuckers. As a whole, we’ve enjoyed exceptionally low natural gas prices for too long. I long for the days of $16 natty, indeed.

Generally, peak hurricane season arrives in late August. As an investor, you want to be long BEFORE the season begins; this way, you can blow the fuck out before it disappoints. So you know, barring a global warming special (Katrina), the hurricane season is always a dud. Nonetheless, investors get jacked up for it (pun intended).

Here is my list of hurricane/natural gas plays:

NGAS Resources, Inc. [[NGAS]] , Southwestern Energy Company [[SWN]] , Global Industries, Ltd. [[GLBL]] , [[UNG]] , Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] , Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] , The Shaw Group Inc. [[SGR]] , [[CLH]] , Natural Gas Services Group, Inc. [[NGS]] and BlueLinx Holdings Inc. [[BXC]] —just to name a few. As the season progresses, I will update with more picks. Obviously, the entry points into such said names are very time sensitive. So, I am sorry to say, you are going to need to log onto iBC—each and everyday— for the duration of your pathetic lives.

The 802.11n revolution continues with Atheros Communications, Inc. [[ATHR]] blowing the barn door off of earnings. Fresh reports from China point to continued demand for LCD screens. Aside from the usual suspects, Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , LG Display Co Ltd. (ADR) [[LPL]] and AU Optronics Corp. (ADR) [[AUO]] , smaller/crazier names are worth a gander (I hate that fucking word and the people who use it). Both Advanced Energy Industries, Inc. [[AEIS]] and MKS Instruments, Inc. [[MKSI]] provide parts to the LCD space and are levered plays off the “front end” of the semiconductor equipment sector (Applied Materials, Inc. [[AMAT]] , Novellus Systems, Inc. [[NVLS]] , Lam Research Corporation [[LRCX]] ).

Another high growth company worth your watchlist is IPG Photonics Corporation [[IPGP]] . They are the market leader in “fiber lasers,” used for industrial purposes. Additionally, they produce a cheap green laser. Remember Microvision, Inc. [[MVIS]] ?

Right now, “Le Fly” is enjoying the luxuries of an egg omelet plastered on his face, thanks to his timely Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. [[AMD]] purchases. Nonetheless, like I said yesterday, I did not buy the stock for a day. I am in the stock for at least a quarter. Without a doubt, I will make money on AMD; watch me if you dare.

Into market strength, I like [[RAX]] , General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] and OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] . I will avoid the banks like the Black Plague and continue to throw slices of ham at my monitor, whenever Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] downticks 5%.

Top Picks: Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] , [[ENTR]]

Some of you industry insiders know of the subtle, but pervasive, moves by firms to limit the use of levered etf’s. At many brokerage firms, registered reps are not permitted to buy levered etf’s, without a written consent from the client, expressing full awareness that he will likely be wiped the fuck out playing with the devil’s tools aka 3x upside/downside etf’s.

At first, I was against banning the etf’s, due to selfish reasons. I am fully capable of trading The Great Fuckery, without getting 200’d to 2 inside of a short month. However, after speaking with numerous investors/friends about their experiences with those fucking products, I think the SEC should just wind down those black holes and eliminate them from the menu of bullshit that the average Joe and Jane intoxicate themselves with on a daily basis. Fact: people will NEVER fully understand how these products work, no matter how much Danny and Woodshedder explain the mechanics via spreadsheets. Joey Fuckoff, gas station owner from Jersey, does not have time to read iBankcoin.

I mean, really, it is incredibly irresponsible to launch 2x, 3x etf’s during this environment of deleveraging, effectively enticing the downtrodden retail investor into making big bold bets at a time when he can’t afford to lose anymore. Personally, I’ve refrained from using them for different reasons. Last year I found myself getting “cucumber lazy,” trading in and out of etf’s, while slacking on my research rituals. So, I made a conscious decision to lower the boom, by reducing my exposure to The RAPERY (FAZ, SKF, SRS, TNA, FAS), in exchange for singular publicly traded companies. What can I say, “The Fly” is olde [sic] school.

How many people bought SRS at $200+, went on vacation, then opened a brokerage statement showing an 80% unrealized loss?

Too many.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f85DJ-lud6w 616 500]

I see the comments section is riddled with funny guys, more apt for a juggling routine than at a trading desk. Don’t fuck with me, else I will track you down at your favorite restaurant and throw a gallon of paint in your face.

Here are some things to consider:

The boom in LCD production/sales will benefit LG Display Co Ltd. (ADR) [[LPL]] , AU Optronics Corp. (ADR) [[AUO]] and Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] . However, smaller companies stand to benefit as well, such as Advanced Energy Industries, Inc. [[AEIS]] and MKS Instruments, Inc. [[MKSI]] . Do some fucking research, chart-boy.

The LED craze will soon hit a street lamp near you. Take a look at Aixtron AG (ADR) [[AIXG]] or Cree, Inc. [[CREE]] .

People hardly talk on the phone anymore. Instead, people type little messages to one another, via “text messaging” service. Do you know who helps provide this service? Of course you don’t, since your head is stuck inside of a moving average.

Take a look at TEKELEC [[TKLC]] and TeleCommunication Systems, Inc. [[TSYS]] .

I’m buying Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. [[AMD]] because margins are expanding. How do I know this? Answer: I just do.

Will the stock shoot higher immediately?

Answer: I don’t know or care.

See folks, unlike you, I am patient enough to wait a quarter or two for a story or a thesis to materialize. When I was younger, I was hamstrung with impatience, always looking for the next grand slam. When in reality, the grand slam can be achieved through an agglomeration of doubles and triples.

In short, while “The Fly” is winning, in epic fashion, I insist that you refrain from using a mocking tone with me. It is uncouth and represents your lineage very badly.

I bought 20,000 Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. [[AMD]] @ $4.03 and 3,000 Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] @ $1.78.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you are at the zoo, a wild ostrich will break loose and peck away at your eyeballs. And, you may lose money.

Goon squads are combing through the streets of Wall, searching for losers who are short stocks. Upon finding them, the shorts are being arrested and thrown into 80’s style limousines, where they are slapped, and slapped again, with hot slices of pizza and drenched with sugary sweet florescent green soda. Despite their best efforts to annihilate the market, the bears have lost the initiative, and as a result, find themselves in a very onerous bankruptcy situation.

Naturally, the market is not going to power forward on a daily basis. However, during bull markets, such as this, the bears shall be given no quarter or respite. Instead, as some of you know, they are offered “the black flag,” where only roach motels offers lesser amenities.

Over the last 6 hours, Senor Tropicana has been dealing with internet connectivity fuckery, an obvious ploy by his enemies to slow down his winship efforts. With a little demonic-style screaming and luck, I am now connected to the internets, where I intend to enjoy the pleasures of telling random people to “fuck off,” and boast about present and future victories.

Do not blame “The Fly” for your impotent investment prowess. Blame your parents for passing on inferior genes.

At any rate, with my money, I will wait until 3:45 to execute several buys.

Stay tuned.

I particularly enjoy short squeezes in the worst stocks. It just pisses off the bears to no end, seeing pure bullshit rocket ship higher. With that in mind, with the help of The PPT, I developed a custom screen to help identify low priced stocks, primed for a short squeeze.

Here are the results:

Headwaters Incorporated [[HW]] , Hovnanian Enterprises, Inc. [[HOV]] , [[GSI]] , Hecla Mining Company [[HL]] , Beazer Homes USA, Inc. [[BZH]] , [[HEB]] , Zale Corporation [[ZLC]] , Sinclair Broadcast Group, Inc. [[SBGI]] , Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. [[AMD]] , Incyte Corporation [[INCY]] , MBIA Inc. [[MBI]] and AMR Corporation [[AMR]]

As an aside, “The Fly” has been actively pursuing the whereabouts of numerous villains, wanted by the cognoscente for crimes against bloggery. Any information, pertaining to the locale of such persons shall and will be forwarded to the office of your local magistrate for thorough investigation.

Thank You.

This one goes out to all you bearshitters

Just to recap:

I held all of my positions and enjoyed another up day. Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] is moving higher now and it’s only a matter of time before I salsa dance on your face.

Into the bell, I bulked up on Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. [[AMD]] , for reasons unbeknownst to you, but quite apparent to me. Keep a close eye on ATHR‘s earnings, scheduled this week. They are a key player in the wifi craze and will serve as a good tell for a number of other tech names. And, be sure analyze AVT‘s earnings too, for they are the number 1 distributor of electronic parts to the foundries. Think cellphones, think LCD’s.

Throw your fucking charts out and party like it’s 2006. We’re going higher, bitches.

Off to partake in a rudimentary form of entertainment.