Note to CNBC: Shut the Fuck Up

All day long, you little fuckers are asking stupid questions, like “shouldn’t we pull back from here”? Or, my favorite: “the market has to pull back, doesn’t it”?

Quit asking leading questions— you sniveling trollops. I am sick and tired of the sub-premium commentary, coming from the coked out anchors on that God forsaken channel. If only there was a viable alternative, I’d throw money at it, in order to unseat and undermine the low-iq’ers on channel 15.

Into the bell, I sold out of the balance of my Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] positions, since I am sick and tired of waiting for the bastard to run. And, I bought another 20,000 Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , around $13.16—with the sincere hopes, deep in my heart, that some maniacal hurricane will make its way to “oil rig alley,” effectively “fucking up” U.S. crude and natural gas production BEYOND REPAIR.

With that in mind, I bid you farewell.

NOTE: I will post my positions tonight, an update of sorts.

Pardon my lack of gun slinging, as of late. Instead of putting my balls on the kitchen table, while cutting carrots, I’ve been busy with “summer bullshit.” At the moment, work has taken a backseat to late night fiestas and mid-day siestas. I’ll have you know, “The Fly” has big dicked year to date gains and has no desire to press the envelope here, especially during the rookie month of August, where most trading turrets are manned by abject imbeciles, straight out of college.

Nonetheless, I have taken it upon myself to carry the burden of risk, despite not needing to. Earlier today, Senor Tropicana bought 20,000 Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] —mainly for shits and giggles. As a side note, should the tropical storm game get jiggy with coastal U.S., crack spreads will explode—effectively sending beaten down refinery stocks through the roof. My favorite refinery plays are TSO, Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] and Holly Corporation [[HOC]] . The big dice-rolls are Delek US Holdings, Inc. [[DK]] , Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] and Alon USA Energy, Inc. [[ALJ]] .

So, in summary, I am trading light, with a 100% bullish bias—currently focusing on a suckers bet aka “hurricane plays.”

Oh boy.

You don’t really know what’s going on; but you pretend that you do on the internets. Does that make any sense to you? See, to me, you are all just a bunch of ham and eggers, throwing chocolate egg creams at one another. You are persistent in your fucktardedness; I’ll give you that. However, always remember, better men than you tried betting against “Le Fly;” look where it got them.

Exactly.

With my money, I am officially in “Hurricane Mode.” I will be adding to my Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Complete Production Services, Inc. [[CPX]] and Hercules Offshore, Inc. [[HERO]] holdings, while initiating new positions in a variety of names. For the love of greasy hamburgers, Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] might make a run here too! On second thought, let’s not talk about FTK, it’s too painful.

In summary, the market is going higher and you got caught flat footed, yet again. I will be reducing my large cash position, down to about 30%, with the sincere hopes of sending several million bearshitters to their makers (not real death. Instead, like some sort of financial God that informs you of pending bankruptcy, or some shit).

Good Day to You

It perplexes me a great deal to read other third rate bloggers bitching about the fame of others. Case in point, there is an ingrate out there, who enjoys the traffic love of iBC via an occasional Woodshedder link, who is talking shit. Now, instead of addressing his babble directly, I would like to offer a different point of view: Who fucking cares?

Seriously, no one gives a fuck and gay goat about your blog, market opinions or moral compass. In the blogosphere, you are either relevant or some retard trying to tie two sticks together. You my friend are a baboon playing with sticks.

In summary, unlike you (pathetic trollop), “The Fly” does not need to link to you, since I am in no need of your pathetic traffic. Take my fucking name out of your mouth and go about your business, boy.

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I will make this short and direct: if I was heavily short stocks here, I’d be fearful of obscene last minute buyers, stepping in here, trying to avoid being stranded on the sidelines. This market has demonstrated, over and over again, it does not want to go lower. Hence, why fight it?

Tomorrow I will allocate some serious coin long. In the meantime, keep an eye out for a late night post, on PPT, outlining my new hurricane watchlist.

My man Chart Addict banks coin, with or without charts. He knows how to pick them and he demonstrates his superior market hand every-fucking-day. But, what’s with all of you other fuckers? I mean, when I started out in the biz, there was plenty of people around who actually read quarterly reports and paid attention to fundamentals. Fast forward a dozen years and everyone has charts for brains.

You Sir have a clunker for a brain.

Let’s look at a near term catalyst: hurricane season.

Sometime tonight, I will build a custom watchlist, listing all of my hurricane plays, exclusive for The PPT. For you fuckers, I will tell you, look to get long some refiners, like Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Holly Corporation [[HOC]] , Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] or Delek US Holdings, Inc. [[DK]] . And, try your hand with some depressed natty stocks, like NGAS Resources, Inc. [[NGAS]] , Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] and Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] . Engineering stocks, like The Shaw Group Inc. [[SGR]] and [[PIKE]] , are worth a looksy too, providing the “Deacons of Death” destroy a few bullshit coastal cities.

In short, shut the fuck up and prepare for some ‘Canes. Lucky for me, I have my very own meteorologist; what do you have?

Exactly.

I bought 2,000 Complete Production Services, Inc. [[CPX]] @ $8.58, 3,000 Hercules Offshore, Inc. [[HERO]] @ $4.57 and 10,000 Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] @ $13.20.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your local Chinese restaurant will begin spitting in your food. And, you may lose money.

A great man once said: “When in doubt, go eat a sandwich.” Those magical words still hold true today, despite all the advances in modern technology.

You need to exhibit patience, while attempting to become a “space alien magician.” There will be lots of pops and drops, most of which will be headfakes—designed to bankrupt you and steal your wife and kids. With the market up this morning, I intend to do the same thing I did yesterday: nothing. While some of the ADD type find this sort of behavior reprehensible, I declare: trading all day long is boring.

Stop having a boring life; stop having a boring tuna.

With a little luck and a lot of dry ice, I am hoping for a “rig-killer” in the Gulf of Mexico this summer. I want to see Geraldo Rivera and Shepherd Smith hanging horizontal, as a “Deacon of Death,” barrels through the region. With that in mind, it’s time for you to get your hurricane game on, starting with a small [[UNG]] position.

At the moment, my top picks are Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , [[ENTR]] and General Cable Corporation [[BGC]]

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