iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,441 Blog Posts

I Can’t Miss

I’m buying [[FXP]] here. Fuck that.

Also, quit giving “The Fly” financial advice. You giving me advice is equal to someone lending oil to Saudi Arabia.

Fuck off, jackass.

This is my plan:

I’m hedging up some more here, buying FXP, shorting Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]] and drinking excessive quantities of Monster Energy Soda.

As you know, I am bowling on you, with great vigor.

In closing, “The Beav” is a fucking whore of a bitch. I will keep it, mainly for fun. However, I am cleaning out some other longs here, taking losses like a fucking man.

UPDATE: I sold short 5,000 [[HK]] @ $17.17. I bought 500 [[FXP]] @ $83.72 and I bought 5,000 [[UYG]] @ $8.16.

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171 comments

  1. Juice

    I thinks we have unfinished downside bidness

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  2. Juice

    whats up with michelle cabruso cabrerra chiquita decked out whore red?

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  3. cheesefries

    CNBC, says the Obama love affair is still on. I was worried after the post election 2 day 1000 point drop in the DOW.

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  4. CAP

    I’m hedging up some more here, buying FXP, shorting Petrohawk Energy Corporation (HK: 17.10 -1.04%) and drinking excessive quantities of Monster Energy Soda.

    HANS beat earnings estimates. I believe the CEO mentioned sales were up due to a certain client in NYC who drinks about 500 Monsters a day.

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  5. CAP

    Anyone interested in GS down here? I’m tempted, but I’ll wait a bit.

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  6. Abdul Aziz bin Saud

    Hey Fly Al-phucker (peace be upon you),

    Can you spare a cup of light sweet crude?

    __________

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  7. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Thats why I kicked that beaver to the curb this morning, its a sick stock, probably has crabs.

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  8. Mr. EB

    HANS CEO is SO HORRIBLE, I was on the conference call last night. Every question he was like “I DON’T KNOW”. SImple questions like what was U.S. growth in the quarter… he’s like… UHHH I Don’t know.

    Sick.

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  9. The Fly

    long banks here, just in case.

    The crisis has moved to industrial names.

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  10. The Fly

    This Phil Lebow guy on CNBC is the BIGGEST GM hack on Earth.

    What a disgrace.

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  11. Mr. EB

    Say gov’t gives some money to U.S. car makers. They will just burn right thru it.. I mean right now the business model is burning through tens of billions dollars a year???? Does anyone really think anyone is going to buy a GM car now with all this solvency news on TV? It’s game over man.

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  12. Anton Cigur

    Thx Fly. I’m buying the FXP, tho I wonder if I might be taking crazy pills with the “cheap shit from China” Kwanzaa-Boxing Day-Xmas-Chanuka holiday right around the corner.

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  13. Mr. EB

    Phil Lebow is trying to save his own job. That’s the only hook and connection he has… to the American car industry.

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  14. Mr. EB

    The Obama speaks thing in 19 minutes is going to be such a let-down. It’s all FOR SHO… nothing of substance.

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  15. Mr. EB

    The problem isn’t loans etc… THE PROBLEM IS THEY MAKE CRAPPY CARS!

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  16. Mr. EB

    Where is Erin today?

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  17. Juice

    I think The Fly must be Darrow’s reincarnation –

    ‘I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.’ – Clarence Darrow

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  18. Mr. EB

    Melissa is no Erin.

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  19. The Fly

    “Rick Wagoner is too embedded to fire.”

    Love that line.

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  20. S. Claus

    Top 3 Christmas gifts this year:

    1) used pencils
    2) a picture of an iPhone
    3) the heart-warming love of Jesus Christ

    (Hey #3, couldn’t you at least get the kid a card? Cheapskate.)

    So, short China with a hearty “ho ho ho”.

    S. Claus
    Founder, CEO, North Pole Enterprises
    Zhangjiang, China

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  21. Anton Cigur

    EB,

    Please continue to post every time a synapse fires.

    I’m on the edge of my seat.

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  22. alphadawgg

    GM is a finance company that happens to make shitty cars.

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  23. Mr. EB

    Cramer how is the MA to $180 in 48 hrs call working for ya?

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  24. alphadawgg

    Re: frequency of EB’s posts..
    I’m telling you, EB is OTR. Either that, or Jake’s alter ego.

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  25. Paradigm Shift

    CAP – GS is a fucking mess.
    It could be $25 or $125

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  26. Mr. EB

    Thanks Anton. I won’t fail you.

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  27. Juice

    The Fly or anyone: what you think of GS down here?

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  28. Anton Cigur

    EB

    Too late.

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  29. Pete

    Fly,

    Would you sell naked puts on BEAV at 10 strike to make an entry? Or do you think this beav-er is starting to smell too much?

    Yukon Pete

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  30. the Bull

    Anton-beautiful.

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  31. Eddie Haskell

    Tee-hee. Pete used naked and BEAV in the same sentence.

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  32. The Fly

    No way on GS. They fucked up hard this qt.

    I’d buy “The BEAV” down here, mainly because its name is so cool.

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  33. Anton Cigur

    Thanks, Bull. I take it you mean the hair.

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  34. Maoist asshat

    Yeah, what’s up with Michelle Caracha Chiquitas wearing the Commie red? (in honor of Obama?)

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  35. T MOE

    I’ve been shorting GS for a while now and have been counting coin all the way

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  36. the Bull

    Actually the synapse comment, but now that you mention it, the hair is looking quite perfect too.

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  37. Juice

    everyone knows they effd up .. Costanza trade perhaps

    I took a small lot down for entertainment & tax loss purposes

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  38. Fly's official time keeper
    Fly's official time keeper

    EB must be in the bathroom.

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  39. Mr Market

    Careful T MOE…a little more humility please in your posts regarding your coin bankage…or I will punch your mustache off.

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  40. Obamania

    Everybody, SHUT UP!

    King Obama is about to appear

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  41. hmmmmmm

    I bet CAP disagrees with “The BEAV” trade, he prefers COX. Hopefully he declared himself a gaytrader on his taxes, heavens forbid!

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  42. T MOE

    Thanks Mr Market.
    Do we see a rally after the messiah speaks?

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  43. obmamnomics

    you will all be required to do community service

    and mow my lawn

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  44. Mr. EB

    No, I’m still here, but I have nothing to say with Obama time coming up. Dam DLB keeps ramping… ARGH!

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  45. All Hail the King
    All Hail the King

    sell sell sell sell sell

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  46. wtf?

    why do i feel like im gambling right now

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  47. Abdul Aziz bin Saud

    Bruce,

    Fwiw, the 161% fib extension on GS on the two year chart is $71.40.

    _________

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  48. Abdul Aziz bin Saud

    Oh, and peace be upon you.

    ___

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  49. pn

    I wonder if Michelle Carbera is a virgin.

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  50. The Holy O

    Gather the flock, for it is time. The Plan will be revealed. *crosses self*

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  51. alert--

    ***Buffet just shit himself, 5 Cherry Cokes for lunch, 5 minute delay…..

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  52. Pete

    Pissed my pants on the “hmmmmmmm” post…thanks a lot…DD, a gaytrader, COX is is smallest holding.

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  53. T MOE

    Carbera is a good motor boat candidate

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  54. Obamania

    I got word that Fuhrer Obama drinks Monstah, with cornbread.

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  55. Obama and your money
    Obama and your money

    “poof”!

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  56. Thunderpup

    I can’t believe the market is waiting for Obama’s press conference, and yet, it is.

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  57. Abdul Aziz bin Saud

    The market is marginally up, my bedouins!

    I TOLD you all you needed was to put a son of Allah in office!

    Bindoo, where is my camel?

    _______

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  58. Damon

    Fly

    Good luck on HK.

    Oh shit, Art Cashin on CNBC, get him off the air!

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  59. Fly's Sychophant

    Why does Mr EB spend so much time here rather than at his own 4th tier blog?

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  60. Juice

    thx for the fibs, JakeAbdulAzizbinSaudGint !

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  61. Rookie Trader

    Is this the future Goat fuckers Paradise site?

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  62. wtf?

    this my friends, is a clusterfuck

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  63. The Holy O

    His Holiness has determined that a 14 minute 36 second delay before speaking will strike the perfect balance between anticipation and discomfort. Use this time to relieve yourself or calm your crying children.

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  64. Mr. EB

    I only write once a day on my blog. Here I just chat with you guys off the cuff.

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  65. 4fl3x

    Obama rally time, can you feel them waiting?

    Either way this should tell of what the market thinks of him.

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  66. oprah

    tell the sheeple that you managed a lemonade stand while a community organizer

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  67. T MOE

    Bob Pasani knows shit. 280k 300k what the fuck is the difference call this rally what it is a short covering, head fake
    Where the fuck is the messiah. He is already setting a bad precedent being late and shit. say what you want about dumb ass GW but he was never late

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  68. Mr. EB

    I mean is there really idiots out there buying the market b4 obama time? God..

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  69. Obamayomama

    Can’t wait to see him. I’m getting impatient. His words drip honey. We are saved!

    Look for the market to go up 1,000 points today!

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  70. wtf?

    who has the youtube link where he is late all the time for the senate hearings?

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  71. Mr. EB

    Michele is little red riding hood with her red cap.

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  72. Mr. EB

    Market spiking on Obama being late!

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  73. Obamayomama

    His excellency is being “fashionably” late. Keep it in your pants.

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  74. Eye No Stuff

    “is there” would connote a single idiot.

    Maybe it’s DevilDog covering?

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  75. charlie

    My BGZ trade worked wonders yesterday, so far my BGU play is making progress, however I’m ready to drop it on a dime during Obama’s speech.

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  76. CAP

    TARP was created so that Wall Street could get their their bonuses.

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  77. Mr. EB

    Howard Lindzon posted he is short and may cover soon.. Probably means lots of intra-day shorties out there today.

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  78. Juice

    Fertilizer will lead the economy out of its mor-ass.

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  79. BHO

    I am toying with the market by being tardy. See? I am that powerful. Much more than George Bush.

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  80. T MOE

    Rick Santelli should be treasury sec

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  81. White House Correspondent
    White House Correspondent

    President-elect Obama is late due to a prayer meeting with his spiritual, economic, and foreign policy advisor, Jeremiah Wright. Please be patient, or risk being thrown into the abyss.

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  82. Mr. EB

    DUDE.. Obama is super late.. what kind of Presidency is this? Market is ramping on him being late..

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  83. BHO

    …might I add, “..and the vortex of my wrath”? Thank you.

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  84. Thunderpup

    Bought a relative buttload of OTM Dec SPY calls. Temporary Obama fan – rah, rah, woohoo…hope and change and shit.

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  85. Abdul Aziz bin Saud

    T-MOE Following is a picture of your infidel Ms. Cabrera in “shameful wear” outside my private lake near Taos:

    She definitely likes a good motorboating, peace be upon her girls.

    _________

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  86. Eye No Stuff

    I bet he doesn’t show up. It’s just now donning on the man “Holy Shit, I’m President of the United States … man, I can’t take the pressure. I got to get out of town before they realize I was just joking about being President.”

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  87. Market Fool

    My wife just informed me that she would like me to quit reading the Fly’s blog due to me being an egregiously foul mouthed fuckface. I told her I’ve banked some serious coin and even showed her the statements but her response was kindy STFU for a couple of hours.

    Good times!

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  88. wtf?

    by change, i mean change the time on your watches back 30 minutes

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  89. alphadawgg

    WTF??? The guy is late? Last minute planning? Shit. Get it together.

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  90. Mr. EB

    They probably telling themselves.. we should delay this till 4pm.. this late stuff is working. Bush was always on time and look what that took us.

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  91. Juice

    ay carumba ! love those personal flotation devices !

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  92. T MOE

    Fuck this rally. I’m with Fly and going to start nibbling on FXP

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  93. T MOE

    Here comes the “one” with his dream team WTF?

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  94. Obamania

    I hope they start the light show, as he appears,….as the glory emanates from the fingers of his raised hands….

    Everybody, yell as loud and you can and cheer him.

    Seig heil!

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  95. Obama skeptic

    He’s now playing news reporter

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  96. Mr. EB

    Obama starts with… man… tons of job losses…..b4 I took this job.. please remember that.

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  97. wtf?

    oh no, more rhetoric

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  98. wtf?

    un fucking believable

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  99. cheesefries

    GLD FXP

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  100. Mr. EB

    The market is like… it doesn’t sound like THE ONE has the magic fix it power… Hmmm.

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  101. Juice

    wow .. a president who can actually speak .. not used to that

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  102. Jakegint

    Bruce — question is — “real, or factory air?”

    ___________

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  103. T MOE

    SELL this news SELL this news. More of the same shit he has been saying for 2 years now

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  104. Thunderpup

    Looks like I made a big fuckin boo-boo.

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  105. wtf?

    out of his league

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  106. cheesefries

    What happens when the stimulator runs out of stimulus?

    buy Gold

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  107. Jakegint

    That’s what I want in my Presidents.

    Bullshit.

    _____

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  108. Jakegint

    Are we sure Dubya isn’t under the dais or anything?

    Cause, like, the market’s going down.

    _________

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  109. Left Wing Loon

    The Messiah is such a pretty talker. We are saved!!!

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  110. cheesefries

    When he starts yelling “change”, the markets will recover.

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  111. Mr. EB

    My new plan!… more unemployment benefits… more stimulus! high priority to help auto industry!

    No magic fix it.

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  112. Yogi & Boo Boo

    We’re eff’ed…

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  113. alert--

    Each “change” is worth 100 points on the Dow.

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  114. Yogi & Boo Boo

    Chit… Where’s the Effin BEEF?

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  115. Mr. EB

    What a let down. Speech over.

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  116. Mr. EB

    New president can restore confidence!!! lol

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  117. Sarah "Baked Alaska" Palin
    Sarah "Baked Alaska" Palin

    Gosh darn it. The timer on the tanning bed has stopped working again. Jake, honey, can you come fix it for me. Do a good job and I’ll show where to stand to get a peek at Russia.

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  118. Jakegint

    Get the hook!

    _______

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  119. T MOE

    What kind of question is that you dumb fat bitch sit the fuck down

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  120. wtf?

    this guy has no fucking clue

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  121. ruh roh

    Tax stimulate tax stimulate tax stimulate.. Great Depression Take2

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  122. Darius

    Did Obama just say he was gonna give GM a bailout? Thats kinda what I think he said, but without actually saying it.

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  123. Rookie Trader

    Step 1 step 2 step 3 Cha Cha Cha Short cover rally only.
    Need too see BRK-A earnings after the bell.

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  124. charlie

    Blew out of BGU right into BGZ

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  125. The Game is Rigged
    The Game is Rigged

    Intersting how bad this guy is when he isnt spewing “what do you want to hear, i need to get elected” bullshit.

    This country is fucked.

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  126. Darius

    LOL Obama, STFU the markets crashing when you talk!

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  127. obabanama

    what no telepromter????

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  128. Market Fool

    Every time bushie spoke the markets tanked.

    Obama is speaking and the markets tank.

    Change is good, got any?

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  129. charlie

    He’s saying he can’t make any changes yet. What he is saying is that until he takes office, the economy is completely fucked.

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  130. Obama skeptic

    He “believes” Iran’s development of a nuclear weapon is “unacceptable”?

    Fucker, it IS UNACCEPTABLE!

    Great, we got a weak leader. Fuuck!

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  131. Yogi & Boo Boo

    Put “Rahm the Enforcer” up there… Quick!

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  132. Sour grapes

    Try again, little foxes. Just a little higher and you’ll have me. Oh golly. That landing looked painful.

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  133. The handler

    That’s enough, Any second I’ll be ending this conference.

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  134. Mr. EB

    Man it looks like the market and people really expected some awesome new economic plan from Obama… geez.

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  135. Juice

    The most impotent question for us traders: Will Obama be able to reverse the Bush jinx of the market going down when speaking.

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  136. charlie

    Get short everyone, he’s been to the inner circle briefings on the economy, and it’s clear in his body language and the speech itself that we are going DOWN.

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  137. Darius

    This guy loves to hear himself talk, this is stupid. We are closing RED if he doesnt shut up.

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  138. Left Wing Loon

    The Messiah will fix everything with his flowery prose!!Stop selling your stocks!!

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  139. Nancy Reagan

    Fuck you

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  140. TraderCaddy

    And the magic words are “No Capital Gains Tax Increase.” Not. FU rich people. It’s only fair and in the name of economic justice you lose your $$.

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  141. Henry Fool

    The market is gay. We will rally after the speech into the close.

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  142. Henry Fool

    FLY your BEAVer stinks.

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  143. Thunderpup

    This is a clusterfuck. What kind of dog? Jesus. They’re not taking this shit seriously.

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  144. Darius

    Holy shit, its the question of the hour!!!

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  145. charlie

    Question regarding his new intelligence briefings and changes in his policy: “I’m going to skip that.” *then does a big gulp*

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  146. Mr. EB

    Hard-hitting journalists asking about what kind of puppy Obama going to get while economy is imploding.

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  147. Mr. EB

    THAT WAS SO LAME.

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  148. Ward and June Cleaver
    Ward and June Cleaver

    The Beav is not “a fucking whore of a bitch.”
    You better check under you engine Mr. Fly because Eddie Haskell is mad, too.

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  149. Donny

    Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah …

    You get the picture!

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  150. charlie

    75% short, 25% cash

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  151. ruh roh

    Dow off 1000 points in the last two days, time for the MSM to ask about his future pet dog……

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  152. Market Fool

    NYC Commercial Vacancy Rate up from 12% to 17.6%

    http://www.crainsnewyork.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081027/FREE/810279977

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  153. Thomas Boone Pickens
    Thomas Boone Pickens

    Giddy up!

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  154. Jakegint

    He’s gone, market back up!

    _________

    SP — I’ll be right up. Send the Eskimo on an Iditarod run, wouldja?

    _______

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  155. Thomas Boone Pickens
    Thomas Boone Pickens

    CHK > 23 = Buy

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  156. T MOE

    Steve get the fuck off my screen

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  157. Thunderpup

    Where the fuck was aw shucks Buffett? Conference call? WTF?

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  158. TraderCaddy

    I understand that Obama has put out a hit on Barney, the first dog.

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  159. T MOE

    How can these idiots on CNBC read this much into the bullshit that just can from BHO.

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  160. Eye No Stuff

    Far too much critical crap on this board about Obama.

    We’ve made it through 8 fucking years of a complete and utter moron in George W Bush. The man was an abysmal failure. We could put Forrest Gump behind the podium now and it would be a vast improvement.

    Give Obama a chance. Hold your critical comments to yourself.

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  161. Sarah "Baked Alaska" Palin
    Sarah "Baked Alaska" Palin

    Oh, gees. Don’t worry about him. I told him I’m pregnant again and we need to come up with another name. He’ll be in the garage for a few hours thinking it over. Would you like to be DeWalt Palin’s real daddy?

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  162. Thunderpup

    Out of these effin’ calls for a slight loss. Positioned for a tank into the close.

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  163. T MOE

    The big boys are going to come in and pull the rug out

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  164. T MOE

    Eye-

    Go fuck a goat

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  165. alf44

    “Eye No Stuff”…DITTO !!!

    Some of these comments here actually make the Yahoo Message Boards look like a “Mensa Meeting” ! LOL

    .

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  166. T CURLY

    Hey, MOE. Some knucklehead here to see ya. Says ya stole his haircut. I think he just got outta the hospital. He’s luggina oxygin tank or sometin around with him.

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  167. Eye No Stuff

    TMOE – sorry, can’t find any goats. They’ll all currently being fucked by bible thumping Republicans. Aren’t you using a couple dozen this afternoon?

    alf44 – Obama is a member of Mensa. George Bush is a card carrying member of the Mickey Mouse Club. Republicans pride themselves on being Micky Mouse Morons, MMM, kinda like the KKK, but with goofy looking ears.

    Get a clue people, like it or not, Mr. Obama is the man. Give him the same respect you gave the Moron.

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  168. Juice

    This is Amerika .. we are supposed to criticize our leaders … hell, we elect them so we can throw eggs at them

    I voted for Obama cause I was sick of ragging on Bush .. I needed a new ragee

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  169. Rookie Trader

    Charlie;

    How the fuck did you see body language. He is so thin he can make moves before you see his clothes move.

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  170. theinsider

    obama in over his head market will rally to 1150 then down to 650.pickeled pigs feet anyone???

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