iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,390 Blog Posts

The Alcoholics Lose Again

Look you little rustics, I don’t have the time nor the inclination to readily update you of my market mastery.

As you can see, [[AA]] shit the shower, thanks to their extreme ineptitude.

While it’s true, “The Fly” has given back an atrocious amount of coin, in recent days. It is also true, he has more than enough to go around and will be making a sharp comeback, sometime soon.

My guess, the AA news will spearhead the basic materials sector lower, thanks to “high energy costs.”

If not, then I’ll have to resort to extreme measures, such as small sacrifices or voodoo magic.

At the end of the day, the market is ripping higher on news that we are in the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. Sometime soon, sanity will kick in and send these bulls sea-worthy.

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51 comments

  1. nullpointer

    nice call

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  2. JakeGint

    “Look you little rustics…”

    Chortle.

    ______________________

    Hey, sometimes when you fuck up a metaphor, I can at least sea (sic) where you are going, but “sending bulls sea-worthy” has got me stumped.

    I would say the bulls ship is looking like the Titanic, half an hour after meeting Mr. Berg.

    A passing air bubble got caught in the starboard cargo bay, temporarily righting the ship, and some asshole started the band playing again….

    Alphred A. Dawg, I believe his name was.

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  3. Juice

    egregious

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  4. BanD

    “Juice Says:

    egregious”

    +1

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  5. Thesaurus Man

    lugubrious

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  6. JakeGint

    Let me ask you all a question.

    Has AA ever had a good earnings report?

    I mean, hasn’t it become almost cliche that they shit the shower every, single, quarter??

    What the fuck? How hard is it to run a near-monopoly aluminum company amidst some of the strongest commodity markets in 40 years?

    Who the hell are the shareholders of this company?

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  7. Prospectus

    Watch AA rally tomorrow based on beating revenue expectations. Because everybody knows profits are overrated.

    We will climb the “wall of worry” on the backs of broken shorts until we reach a euphoric peak, IMO, and today isn’t it, as much as I wish death to the bulls.

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  8. hmm

    I’ve been holding back on my aluminum foil purchases just for this.

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  9. Q4

    Where’s

    Mr. Brightside

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  10. JakeGint

    Melancholic?

    That’s worse than “sea-worthy.”

    If anything, Fly is strictly, “cholic.”

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  11. Prospectus

    @Jake: Well, they are up 130% or so since the bottom of the bear in 2003. But what have they done lately? Exactly.

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  12. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    AA major costs kill them due to exactly what Fry said.

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  13. alphadawgg

    Jake,
    Go copulate with a container of golden yellow maize.

    I don’t even have a band.

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  14. Big Mike

    Can anybody go over Alcoa’s #’s and see if anything standout?
    Also, what was guidance?

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  15. Squanto

    AA will rip higher in the coming quarters due to Jake’s excessive usage of aluminum cans of corn.

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  16. Ferrari321

    Alcoa Adjusted EPS 44c vs 50c Estimate (Table)
    2008-04-07 16:24 (New York)

    April 7 (Bloomberg Data) — Alcoa Inc. reported quarterly results for the period ended March 31, 2008. The following table displays earnings figures along with consensus mean estimates. Actual values may differ from those included in company reports to make them comparable. All numbers are in millions of dollars except for per-share earnings, quoted in dollars.

    Actual Estimates # estimates % Surprise
    3/31/08 3/31/08 3/31/08 3/31/08
    Sales 7375.000 7329.663 9 0.6%
    NI Adj 341.000 419.179 5 -18.7%
    EPS Adj .440 .496 14 -11.3%
    NI GAAP 303.000 601.838 6 -49.7%

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  17. JakeGint

    Squanto–

    Too late, I finished “hoarding” last November. The numbers are baked in!

    ‘Spectus —

    130% is “meh” for a near monopoly in a commodity bull over almost five years. Look at some of the other metals, for example. They’re up on pricing alone.

    Dawg —

    I’m cut to the quick! Why would you think I was talking about you?

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  18. alphadawgg

    AA hit resistance and, unfortunately for the bulls, will be heading down again due to the earnings report.

    Company still expects global demand for Al to grow by over 9% in 2008, mainly due to China. U.S. is expected to grow by only 0.8%.

    AA going back under $30.

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  19. DickBove

    Even though the market has ripped higher 8% in 3 weeks, it feels pretty lonely to be a bull on this site. Since Leon Cooperman is now bullish, maybe one of you can show a little compassion and arrange to have him transferred to a padded room near mine on the fifth flooar at Bellevue. I need the company.

    Regards,
    Dick

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  20. Thesaurus Man

    Don’t be a dick, Bove.

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  21. wow

    Another company that comes in 1/2 of what it was a year ago… market will rip based on how the financials reacted to halfsies…

    “Alcoa said that first quarter profit fell by more than half compared to a year ago, undershooting analysts’ estimates, due to higher energy costs and a weak dollar which offset a recent surge in aluminium prices.”

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  22. Joey sack of baseball bats
    Joey sack of baseball bats

    Does anybody here know a Jake Gint?

    I have an important message for him from a Mr. Alphred A. Dawg and his cousin Guido “the Kneecapper” Costanza.

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  23. Synonymous Man

    Yeah, Dick, don’t be a phallus.

    Thesaurus, this is my venue. Go have coitus with a hollow-horned Capricorn.

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  24. The Fly

    Jake:

    “sea-worthy” is a jerky boys reference.

    An inside joke.

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  25. JakeGint

    Q4 — Who knew Ben Affleck sung?

    And as for Eric Roberts getting some quick music video cash, he was much better in his younger days, when he looked more like his little sister:

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  26. JakeGint

    Note, that movie was also Mickey Rourke, pre-plastic- surgery-medmal-suit.

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  27. Q4

    Jake:

    Eric Roberts – King of the “B” actors.

    Although, I always liked his sister.

    Fly:

    Jerky Boys are the best. Frank Rizzo.

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  28. Thesaurus Man

    Cinnamon Moose Man:

    May your pleasant morning repose be forever fouled by sulfurous flatulence, driving away those who share your marriage bed….starting tomorrow, and each day after.

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  29. Mushroomz

    Me thinks the haters are being set up with sandbagging numbers from AA.

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  30. JakeGint

    Q4 —

    I always thought Bruce Campbell was the King of the B-Movies?

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  31. Q4

    Jake: He’s a pawn of the C-movies.

    AMD – not so much.

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  32. Employee8

    Matt was just interviewed on Fast Money …. seems he picked GS for their contest…. a two fer!

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  33. JakeGint

    Time to sell Skiffles?

    It may never be time to sell Skiffles!

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  34. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    I think personally that the letter X should be shorted precipitously until it corrects to the tune of 35% of which it is over valued. What or who can justify this massive move?

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  35. Gunners

    GRO = Homo Hammer

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  36. godzilla

    5 dollar foot looooong

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  37. The Zombie

    The Fly is God

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  38. Aris

    jake was right – AA always hands out earnings reports on toilet paper.

    also the people that sold off ACI because of an 8k and some off-handed remarks by the ceo are going to get money shots in their starfish.

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  39. Danny

    how can you neg karma gunner’s comment? GRO is receiving the liberace homo hammer of death AH, it’s no lie

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  40. Gunners

    i was wondering that myself. I forgot the “no offense to gays” part I guess.

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  41. boca

    The Agria COO just resigned.

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  42. Danny

    and there’s an audit problem

    In addition to announcing the resignation of the co’s COO (see 16:30 comment), GRO said its independent auditors have been unable to begin their audit of the Company’s financial statements for 2007. Given the substantial delay in the commencement of the audit process, there is a risk that the Company may not be able to file its Annual Report on Form 20-F for the fiscal year ended December 31, 2007 by June 30, 2008. The co is retracting its prior guidance for the fourth quarter of 2007 and first quarter and full year of 2008 as provided in a press release on February 25, 2008… Additional details on resignation of COO: On March 26, 2008, Mr. Xue informed the co’s Board of Directors (the “Board”) that he intended to resign from his positions at the Company. Under the Company’s corporate governance guidelines, the Board may accept or reject the resignation request of any director and/or officer. The Board rejected Mr. Xue’s resignation request on March 31, 2008 and gave Mr. Xue 24 hours to make a final decision. Mr. Xue did not respond to the Board within 24 hours. Consequently, effective April 1, 2008, Mr. Xue ceased to be the COO and a director of the Company.

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  43. Synonymous Man

    Firearms Experts, next time try using “Gay Mallet” (of Death), to avoid offending the queer trading community (bulls).

    Somehow, “Gay Mallet” doesn’t have the same impact (get it?), like the homo hammer.

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  44. Thesaurus Man

    Well, “Homo” is clearly offensive to homosexuals. And “Hammer” is offensive to those suffering from hammer toe, as well as individuals who are sensitive to loud sounds or have hardware allergies.

    The phrase as a whole would also raise eyebrows with Christians, because it connotes deviant sexual behavior (i.e., “Rick performed the homo hammer on me last night and I shot my load on his face”).

    And it’s offensive to point out that a stock is going down, because it may cause emotional distress to those who are long. We don’t want to cause emotional distress, do we?

    I propose “A Celebration Of Subtraction” as a positive, inclusive, tolerant alternative, much like “thought shower” has replaced the offensive “brainstorm”.

    Viz.

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  45. alphadawgg

    That video was awesome. Very nice intro and graphics.

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  46. JakeGint

    That ^^ is fuculated.

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  47. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    I have a feeling there will be more resignations as numbers come out and they come clean. By the way is there anything more worthless than a Nigerian scammer?

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  48. Prospectus

    @gapNyap: ^^Chinese Stocks, apparently

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  49. DroppedFoot

    This explains the rolling homo hammer to stocks like GRO:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

    Hat tip to DT!

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  50. Gunners

    You Got Rick Rolled!

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  51. anon

    No, you did!

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