iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,316 Blog Posts

Go Play With Small Bombs

Instead of buying stocks up here, go play with small sticks of dynamite or hand grenades. Take the pins out, wait 3 seconds, then put them back in. It’s fun and nerve racking, at the same time. Just be sure to powder your hands up, prior to taking on this endeavor.

Look, buying up here is equal to declaring the Dow and S&P will be down, less than 5% for the year. Stranger things have happened, but in my book that’s plain ol’ chicanery.

When shit is running, the rookie move is to jump in at the top and end up getting your fucking legs and arms blown off, by a failed “pin reentry,” via slippery hands.

There is no way we end 2008 down less than 10%. So, with that in mind, get drunk and feel free to short [[LEH]], with the courage and bravery of a lion in a chicken coop.

However, seasonality is on the side of the bulls. Often times, even in bear markets, the indices advance during April-May. So, be prepared to live on edge, if you are short here—for about a month.

After that, during the summer, you can kiss this fucker (market) goodbye, as big money walks away from the asshattery, leaving assholes in their place to eat pavement.

Top pick: Short LEH.

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19 comments

  1. Woodshedder

    Nasdaq may not close above the 50 day. 2315 is that number.

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  2. JakeGint

    Preparing a nice “sip-operated” wheelchair for Limbless Shed.

    We can start calling him “Caterpillar” soon.

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  3. Woodshedder

    Jake, oddly enough, I didn’t enter this a.m. because I expected at least a partial gap fill.

    Well, that never happened. Hell, we never got a pullback to buy until 2:30 ish.

    Then, I decided I was not going to buy here at the top of a +2% day.

    I’d rather be patient than top tick it.

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  4. B. H. Obama

    If the Dow ticks 20,000 while there’s a recession and the average American family is eating stolen ketchup packets for dinner each night, wealth redistribution will be an easy sell, no?
    Better sharpen my rhetoric-writin’ pencils.
    Got dam America, indeed.

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  5. JakeGint

    Shed & Son go huntin’ for more “oracular power,” eventually using the Jedi mind trick on an unsuspecting peasant.

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  6. Kiwin

    Looks like that SIRI XMSR deal is finally approved by the Justice Dept.

    Cramer will be in heaven. Great.

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  7. Woodshedder

    Funny. Jake always gets mean when he is losing thousands of dollars every minute.

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  8. Dinosaur Trader

    Hang on Woody, I’ll come to your rescue…

    Hey Jake, Obama 2008, BITCH!

    -DT

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  9. Fly I like the way you play both sides of the fence

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  10. Elliot Spitzer

    Did I ever tell you guys my sexual fantasy about “playing both sides?”

    Oh shit… here comes Silda again… another time.

    -ES

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  11. Crude Broker

    If you don’t play both sides of the fence in a market you are fucking doomed.

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  12. Q4

    I’m supplying those small bombs for free.

    Initiate sell sequence…

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  13. JakeGint

    Woods,

    This is not even close to “mean.” This is “teasing.”

    I’m pretty flat today, btw… LEH is down, and I sold a bunch of $84 Skiffles puts for fat.

    They are skinnier.

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  14. JakeGint

    Oh, yeah, you got me there, Dino.

    (rolls eyes)

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  15. bankable

    Fly,

    Pick up your phone. Your wife called….(heh heh)

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  16. JakeGint

    Wood,

    Besides, you gotta admit that’s a pretty weird/cool commercial.

    As an aside, I sometimes watch these things coming out of Japan (media/visual,) and to some extent other Asian countries, and wonder… “are these people from the same planet we’re from?”

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  17. JoeyBagofTricks

    “getting your fucking legs and arms blown off, by a failed “pin reentry,” via slippery hands.”

    Absolutely classic!

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