We’re Gonna Bounce Today, Aren’t We?

We can’t go down on turkey weak, come on.

Plus anyway, I just spoke with a friend of mine and he said: “we’re gonna bounce today.”

However, it’s worth noting, he says: “we’re gonna bounce today,” pretty much everyday.

Also, when the market is ripping higher, he says: “we’re going lower today.”

Costanza trading at its highest level.

So, forget all of your idiotic charts or fundamental analysis. We’re gonna bounce today, because some dude from NYC said so.

How’s that for meaningless market commentary?

…pack your bags and go home.

Everything is getting the “homo-hammer” of death, except RIMM and AAPL—bull market favorites.

Here’s my take:

Watch those two stocks closely, because if they start breaking down, the Naz is going to “shit the shower,” in a very bad way.

Furthermore, if you’re bearish, it makes sense to sell them short here, for a trade.

If you’re long, like me, go eat a sandwich—then take a nap or sell everything

Either scenario is perfectly acceptable.

NOTE: Should the market go up from here, I suspect both AAPL and RIMM will offer leadership.

Why bother buying the dips, if all we get is the same miserable tape, every-single-day?

Look at FNM. That stock has been obliterated, alongside almost every other financial related stock.

Running through my list, SOV, BBX, C, RBS, MER, MS, LEH, BSC, BCS, just to name a few, look terrible, while GS presses higher.

Providing the market stays in the tank, there is no way GS can sustain its current valuation. I don’t care how “smart” those fuckers are; the stock will trade lower—eventually.

As for today’s trading:

UN, LMT, PCP, MCD and other defensive stocks continue to press higher, while everything else languishes—preparing for the death blade.

Barring a miraculous reversal, the market is on its way to shed another 1-2%, led down by financials, basic resources and retail—all recessionary signals.

This market is pretty much gay.

Enjoy.

So, for months, I’ve been seeing this “stock robot” trading machine ad, all over the net. From time to time, it would pop up on my blog too; so I bought one.

The “stock trading robot” was delivered in a metal box, about half the size of a coffin. I’m sure my neighbors thought “The Fly” was having dead monkey’s delivered to his house. Very nice.

Fuck them.

After the delivery men left, I opened the mini-coffin and turned the robot on—thinking this ugly fucker was my next meal ticket.

At first, he was just an ordinary robot, with stupid movements and “low-IQ-ish” behavior.

But, I noticed he was picking up on some of my mannerisms, such as asking for coffee, then pouring it into an idle Starbucks cup.

Crazy shit.

After getting familiar with this robot, I decided it was time to see what the fucker could do at the trading desk.

One day, me and this coffee pouring robot stepped into the office, much to everyone else’s chagrin. I introduced the “stock robot” to everyone, declaring: “take a good look at your future replacement.” I even programmed the robot to say cool things, like: “fuck you, you’re dead” and “your Mother is a goat milker.”

He would constantly say that shit. Good times.

So anyway, seeing the robot trade for about a week, I was somewhat unimpressed. I mean, all that fucker would do is buy MVIS, sell short CWTR, then automatically throw something at my trader/servant— every 47 1/2 minutes (I programmed him to do that).

With the amount of money I paid for this fucker, I thought he was going to make me billions. Instead, this shitcan ended up short circuiting himself, via pouring an entire pot of hot hot coffee over his dumb robot head.

A terrible way to die, indeed.

The moral of the story: “stock trading robots”are fucktards and they don’t work. Keep those fucking robots in the factories and out of the trading room.

Trust me.

Obviously, this week, if they had some holiday, where everyone stuffed their fat faces, I’m sure shares would be running right now. Running mind you.

However, since this is not the case, stocks are somewhat moribund in Asia–early on

Try to outsmart the market and get your lips punched loose.

More on this later.

“The Fly” has decided to spare you (third tier bloggers).

UPDATE: In an effort to be “kind” to ordinary internet folk, “The Fly” will be “rewarding” blogs that enrich him with traffic, via posting “Top Referrers” on the main page.

Every month, I will post, on the bottom left of the main page, the top 5 referrers to iBankCoin.com.

Yes, it’s true: Fly Wins Again.

Back to my “low-end” space plane.

Developing…

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gerl6OunT_A 450 300]

They’re stupid and old.

Don’t fuck with “The Fly,” as you know. He’ll have your eyebrows punched off and your fucktarded, low-end, blog eliminated.

Thanks to my time machine, I was able to leg into quality stocks, without getting my balls set aflame.

Recently “re-upped” positions, RIMM, VMW, VMI and BWLD did well today, while LFT, XFML and HANS ate pavement.

Now, I’m not guessing here, since I have vast experience successfully beating the chest hairs off bearshitters, when I say: we’re gonna have a turkey day rally.

Bank on it, fuckers.

If you are short stock, cover now, else I’ll be eating your stuffing.

Late in the day, I was tempted to put some money to work in MER and CFC. However, the voices in my head told me to go eat a marshmallow, instead.

Just so you know, “The Fly” is not obese, in any manner.

In closing, it feels good to “bank a little coin.” As always, it will go to my head, enabling me to tell my fucking neighbors: “fuck you, my car is better than yours,” prior to peeling off.

Much to their chagrin.

NOTE: It appears there is some institutional interest in MVIS.

Jake is an asshole for bashing RIMM.

Fly wins again.