iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,445 Blog Posts

This Depression Will Be Cooler

I was out with the family yesterday; basically following Mrs. Fly around—paying for stuff that she deemed “necessary.” For the kids, we went to a variety of stores, picking up little things along the way. The one thing that stood out, a common denominator if you will, everything was on sale. The most startling thing I have ever experience occurred at “The Gap,” where a desperate sales person gave us access to his employee discount card (30% off), just so he could meet his quota. In other words, he was like “yo, buy a lot of stuff and I’ll hook you up.” I was like “you’re on, fuckface.”

Then, we moseyed on over to the sneaker stores, all 5 of them. Much to my chagrin, none of the stores carried 1/2 sizes. My youngest son is a size 10 1/2 sneaker. I guess during big ass depressions, store managers keep their inventories low by only stocking up on full sizes.

Finally, Mrs. Fly jogged on to the Coach store, where she bought “the latest bag.” Long story short, those fucking sales people were the most egregious hard sellers I’ve ever encountered at the shopping mall—almost as bad as stock brokers. They were trying to close me on some bullshit $100 wallet for about 15 minutes. They even took turns trying to “seal the deal.” Morons. “The Fly” cannot be closed; scientifically, it is impossible.

Quick note: I even found parking near the mall, which was a 30 minute endeavor, this time— last year.

Look you, the country is fucked. Its “fuckedness” stems from the budget shortfalls municipalities will face, burdened by declining tax revenues and increasing jobless rates. Many, many cities and states, in this ass backwards union, have HUGE infrastructure projects underway. Needless to say, they will not be able to fund them anymore.

The money is gone. An egregious age of deflation is upon us. Poof, just like that.

I must admit, I am shocked by the lack of leadership in this country. Words cannot express how idiotic Paulson and Co. look right now, reversing their stance on the TARP program. Basically, they are saying “fuck you, you’re dead,” to all of the weak banks. Because of this, there will be a huge wave of bank closings— and soon.

Actually, their latest position is a logical one, which is: why give dead banks money, if they are dead? However, on Wall Street, we don’t like it when policy changes so dramatically. It makes everyone nervous. We have a bunch of headless horsemen leading us into a war.

The markets are in danger of trading down significantly, due to uncertainty. Everyone I know, who manages big money, is nervous.

I keep switching my market bias, because things keep changing. One week it appears the Government has a handle on things; the next they are chopping off each others cocks. I’m sorry, but I can’t invest on the long side, while my leaders are running around without their cocks.

Naturally, the fuckery is not isolated in America. Worldwide, growth is slowing to a standstill. Don’t be a fucking hero, amidst the biggest banking freeze up, since the wonderful times of the last Great Depression.

Without a doubt, we are heading into a depression or something like it, where employment and inventories run dry. However, this time, it will be much cooler to watch, on my brand new LCD, as opposed to where Grandpa Fly found news: on his bullshit AM radio, made from “Marconi”— “a fine Italian”—no doubt.

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“The Kash Man” is an Idiot

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aiq3I0o_SHA 450 300]

NOTE: Tomorrow, I will be giving a full opnion on recent events. I have lots to say.

BRUTAL!

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5GW2uh0k4A&feature=related 450 300]

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How Cool Would it Be if Buffett Blew Up?

Thanks to iBC’s gentleman of the south (it shall rise again, just not now), Woodshedder. for the suggestion.

Old man Buffett has been making lots of bonehead moves. If I owned Berkshire stock, I’d be selling that fucker quicker than Buffett is giving away his fortune.

UPDATE: Idiots who got it wrong. Ben Stein and co. are fucking idiots.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2I0QN-FYkpw 450 300]

h/t Howard.

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The Waters Are Not Safe

You fuckers are always wrong. Never question Senor Tropicana and his time machining ways. While you jumped into the waters, covered in tuna chum, “The Fly” muscled up (he’s been know to do that) and bought more [[EEV]] , [[FXP]] and shorted some Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] .

On the other hand, I also bought some more National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , out of sheer reflex to the market rally, which was false.

At the end of the day, my brain is “mountains bigger” than yours. My trading skills are unparalleled. My market calls are made from pure gold.

Which reminds me: gold is a piece of shit. Sell it whenever you get the chance. And, stop buying gold coins you fucking idiots. You’re better off buying baseball cards or other useless collectibles.

During today’s tape, I started to lever up. I used the “M” word. I know what you goat fuckers are thinking: “Oh, God, please do not say MARGIN. Run for dear life. On the eyes on my first born, not MARGIN. Anything but MARGIN.”

Yes, young plebs. Margin can be very effective when used to hedge. It’s not like I am using it to bulk up on [[UYG]] . That would just be stupid.

At the close, I will be 65% long, 50% short with -15% in cash. My inverses far outstripped my longs, giving me an +2.8% day. Go figure.

Off to drink some rich mans whiskey.

UPDATE
: Closed the day +2.12%

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The Window is Now Open

The market is rallying off of nothing. Take this spike to knife into some inverses, spefically [[EEV]] , [[DUG]] and [[FXP]] . I do not want to be net short. However, I want my hedges to preserve my gains and protect me from being clown raped, Amen.

My guess, we close near the lows of the day. The market has too many things to deal with, such as Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , Morgan Stanley [[MS]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] .

Trade Accordingly.

UPDATE: I bought 1,000 National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] @ $26.87.

UPDATE II: I bought another 1,000 [[NOV]] @ $26.55

UPDATE III: I bought 1,000 [[NOV]] @ $26.55.

UPDATE IV: I bought 1,000 [[EEV]] @ $85.09

UPDATE V: I bought 2,000 [[FXP]] @ $61.95

UPDATE VI: I sold short 2,000 Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] @ $72.39

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Hedge or Die

Once again, the market proves it is being run by homos in florescent yellow jumpsuits, no offense to gay guys, of course.

At the moment, I am 65% long, 40% short and -5% cash. Much to my delight, my inverses are more than making up for my longs. I bought more [[FXP]] , [[DUG]] , [[EEV]] and a little [[REW]] . Also, to hedge against my National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] long, I sold short Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] .

The market cannot defeat me. “The Fly” is always two steps ahead of Mother Market (bitch), and one slice of pizza away from killing his trader/servant. Let me tell you, that fucker has been making trading error after trading error. It has gotten to a point where it is almost comical. If he was trading with monopoly or confederate money, I’d be balling on the floor, laughing out loud, as if the tickle monster had attacked me.

For all of you bull fuckers:

You will die soon. The market spits on your kind and will eventually thorw all of you into murder holes.

With my money, I’ll give the long side one more day. If the market dives lower on Monday, I will blow out of these fuckers and bet heavy on China shitting the shower.

Always a high percentage play.

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Tricked

I thought we’d have a follow through rally today. Silly me, I forgot that we were in a fucking black hole, which is sucking civilization and all of its furniture into it. Poof, gone!

I am flattening out my portfolio to put me on a hamster wheel to nowhere. Of course I am loading up on [[FXP]] . I told you last night that I would.

Look you, if you’ve been reading my blog for more than a year, you should know how I think by now. You don’t need me to tell you: “hey asshole, yesterday was a trick, get short.”

Yes it sucks being whipsawed; but it’s part of the game.

In short, I have not sold any longs. I took my 15% cash and just dumped it all into [[FXP]] . Fuck it. And, I will use a little leverage to buy more, if needed.

UPDATE: I sold short 3,000 Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] @ $72, to hedge my National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] position.

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Asia Yawns at Wall Streets Circle Jerk

If Asian markets do not rally by 5% or more tonight, I am loading up on [[FXP]] in the morning and taking profits on some of the longs I bought this afternoon.

Thus far, the reaction in Asia has been muted, up between 2-4%.

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