Game Plan For Today

Luckily, I find myself with a large cash position (35%) and newly added longs (CHL, FXI and TS). However, much to my chagrin, I am going into a fucking short squeeze, like a piece of cheese through a grater, with 45% of my capital short the market.

I expect limited losses in my oil shorts, due to a timely XOM downgrade (UBS) this morning. But, my thoughts on oil may change dramatically following the announcement of inventory data, scheduled to be released later on this morning.

My other positions in SRS, EEV and REW will be clown raped.

My choices are simple: sell them and switch to longs and risk timing everything wrong. Or, hang tough on the shorts and utilize existing cash to add more longs.

Depending on the tone of the market, I may just take my lumps on SRS, EEV and REW and move on. Or, the more likely scenario, I will take the cash I have left and position it to make some coin going into today’s close and for the next few days.

One thing is clear: if the market holds today’s gains, we will likely rally for several days, on the back of yet another insane stimulus plan.

It is quite common to see bear market rallies occur in late January. Often times they can last until March. It will be tempting to sell off longs quickly and buy into an FAZ or SKF on the “cheap.” However, remember, C, BAC, WFC, USB and JPM can literally double from yesterday’s closing prices and still not be viewed as “overvalued” by the asset management crowd.

The possible downside for FAZ is in the high 20’s and high 90’s for SKF.

Bottom line: today is not a day to be stubborn. I will try my best to limit the damage and not wallow in the “woulda, coulda, shouldas.” I got caught short, like a midget in the deep end of a pool. Now I must rectify or try to avoid future damage and work to rebuild.

Obama administration will create a “bad bank” aka “money hole,” in an effort to cleanse the banks of all of their mistakes. In addition, they will acquire such said toxic assets at a fucking premium.

This is a fucking crime. However, what’s another trill between idiots? Oh, and instead of taking preferred stock, the Gov’t chose the Bill Miller route. They will eat lowly common stock.

UPDATE: Britain was 3 hours to financial ruin.
h/t GW

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56E8yYgLNHE 450 300]

I’m out of here; this shit is for the birds. Apparently, the market is stuck on stupid, frozen, unable to ball up and make a move. However, that shouldn’t stop the stock Gods from punching my teeth in with a little “reverse SRS love action.”

The late day SRS fuckery is so classic, they should rename the etf ‘Frank Sinatra,’ ticker FRANK.

Here is a recap of today’s events:

X told us they blow and will begin the long process of bleeding out losses, for the foreseeable future. In addition, they have a $2 billion pension shortfall.

On that news, the stock ripped higher.

The Obama stimulus package has, in fact, no stimulus, touting less than 5% in real infrastructure spending. Instead, we will waste some fake money on condoms and abortion clinics.

Good times.

And, the big news being swept under the rug is: Congress wants to restrict steel contracts to U.S. firms only—with regards to the stimulus spending. Do these fuckers ever pick up history books; and more importantly, are they familiar with Smoot Hawley?

It’s almost as if they (Congress) try to be extra stupid on purpose.

This is not the time to take a protectionist stance with our trading partners. You can’t build an economy, based upon global growth and all if its trimmings, then all of a sudden, when the shit hits the fan, rescind or radically change how we conduct business with other nations.

Asshats.

In short, I like t-bills here, via TLT. And, I like short oil and short commercial Re. However, I cannot short the banks down here, no matter how much I hate them. Look, BAC, USB, WFC and C could double from here and no one would complain about valuations. It’s all a black box. No one knows what the banks are worth. Therefore, absent any really bad news, men in green leotards may choose to jack those fuckers up, in order to be all stupid and shit.

At the close of trading, my top longs were CHL, FXI and TS. And, my top shorts are DUG, SRS, EEV and ERY.

I just got back from lunch and I must admit; it was quite decadent. Amongst the finger food snacks of Gruyere cheese, fresh basil and herb infused turkey, I was also privy to some high end balsamic vinegar—not the bullshit that you buy from Stop and Shop. Losers.

Truth be told, lunch was rather light, since I was rushed so that I may endeavor to get back to the desk, in order to do the Lord’s work, of course.

Speaking of which, I think it’s fairly obvious, as well as shockingly accurate, that Senor Tropicana is well on his way to greatness. Little ol’ XOM may not be down yet; but, believe you me, it shall drown in a muddy pool of pig vomit, before this week ends.

Earlier on today, I bought some Chinese shit, namely FXI and CHL, based upon an urge to get long real communism, as opposed to the ambiguous U.S. version. In addition, I needed some upside hedges.

The way I see it: the Chinese are stark raving mad. There is a possibility, although not likely, that I can make obscene amounts of coin long DUG, ERY, REW, SRS, while also making money long Chinese fuckery, based upon post Chinese New Years brainwashing.

Nevertheless, if you are trading against me, good luck, you’re certainly going to need it. I’ve been at this shit for too long, to lose out to some random loser who searches the internet for stock picks.

Top picks: Short XOM

I bought 7,500 CHL @ $45.77 and 5,000 FXI @ $25.05.

UPDATE: I bought 15,000 TS @ $20.85

Disclaimer: If you buy the stocks above because of this post, a rabid panda will bite you. And, you may lose money.

Boy are they gonna get Thain, huh? After a “few trill” in losses, NY Attorney General, Cuomo, is getting tough—opening up an investigation of sorts— against the man who likes to decorate his office with elaborate things. What a fucking joke.

How about Angelo Mozilo, Stan O’Neil, Sandy Weill, The Bear Sterns crew?

I have a novel idea: instead of going after the guy who bought the $1,400 trash can, how about going after the guy who destroyed the infrastructure of capitalism, via knee capping the banks with CDO’s and other financial tools of fuckery?

How about that guy?

While Dick Fuld, Jimmy Kayne and the boys sip pina coladas on some square beach, in the middle of nowhere, little ol’ Thain will be receiving uppercuts to the scrotum, via witch hunt.

Can you say scapegoat?

As for the markets:

It’s business as usual: oil is in the shitter and XOM is up. Nothing to see here, carry on.

I’m sick of rehashing the news for you ingrates. Go pick up the newspaper and find out what’s going on. All I care about are my positions and, thus far, they are not responding to the laws of reason.

Who buys commercial Re, in the midst of a commercial Re funding crisis? Who are these people?

Anyway, I have a lot of cash on the “sidelines,” a little more than 50%. So, there is a strong possibility that I may buy something, like TLT—a true Costanza trade.

Almost everyone I know is shorting t-bills. At the same time, I hear grumblings that the Fed is very unhappy with the recent spike in yields. As a result, they may take their communist printing press and use it to buy t-bills. Oh, what a mess.

Therefore, TLT may be worth a floater.

And, finally, I am a firm believer in buying DUG, ERY and SRS on dips.

Our Government will never allow capitalism to flourish again, willingly.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnjS1FSrwWg 450 300]

Many of you ball lickers are not familiar with my resume. Some of you are and still believe “The Fly” will eventually be wrong. Others are like “WTF, this man is a space alien magician; God forbid I bet against him.”

What you need to understand, and listen to me very carefully: you are not in my league, pal. You are over there, sipping on that bullshit aluminum can filled with Brisk Iced-T, trading in and out of 500 share lots. Pffffffffffffffffffff.

Do not compare yourself to “The Fly,” at anytime, in any venue.

“The Fly” is so much more superior to you, when he pisses, it hits your ceiling.

All of my moves today were executed flawlessly, with exception to an early FAS purchase.

All of my SRS, EEV, DUG purchases were Godly.

All of my UYM, PFG and FAS sales were pristine.

And there you are, yet again, betting against me, as if you know shit from moonshine about this here market.

Remember, if you are having a good day in the market, trading against me, I’m just handicapping your spasticly retarded brain, so that I can take your funds at a later date.