THE DICK CHOPPERS HAVE BEEN DEPLOYED

Today I applied a tax to your accounts, those tipped with cement heads and small dicks. I bought into the maelstrom and came out victorious. As discussed earlier, my cash position is down to 35%, as I am looooong millions in WNR, TEX, CLF, DECK, IPGP and TNA.

Check my pedigree.

I warned you to avoid betting against sublime harmony in mathematical precision aka The PPT, yet you chose to press your bets in SKF. I offer no condolences, only disdain. The invincible Le Fly is spinning helicopter blades in your general direction, spearheaded with his WNR.

This is act 1. Next up, panic buying ensues, clown raping your zeroedge ass back into oblivion.

Today I made back 1 week worth of losses, aka more money than you will ever see in your entire lives.

There are very specific correlations that I am watching, all to do with predicting a sharp rally higher. It should be no surprise to non-members of The PPT that we are oversold. I don’t think that betrays the data paid for by members. What’s even more interesting than that is the incredibly low level of percentage of large cap stocks rated buy.

As of yesterday, just 1.35% of large cap stocks were rated buy, the second lowest reading ever. The last time the reading was this low was on 9/22/11, which led to a sharp rally in the S&P from $112 to $117 in a matter of days. On 8/8/11, the level was below 3%, leading to another monster rally up to $117 shortly thereafter. Algorithms are unable to read news and discern whether Greece is going to get a bailout or not. So it’s important to fall back on intuition and market experience when positioning.

For me, this is an opportunity to buy into fear. I do not intend to overstay my welcome due to the unresolved issues at hand. However, based purely on the laws of mathematics, we are due for a cocaine, Rick Ross, GORILLA rock smashing rally.

Top picks: long WNR, DECK, IPGP, TEX, CLF, short EXH.

I allocated 35% of my cash today, buying WNR, CLF, DECK and TEX. This is what I call “buying the blood” and it never feels right until it does.

For the next few hours, I will zipping through outerspace, traveling through time. Feel free to chat amongst yourselves. However, keep it distinguished.

I bought 25,000 WNR and will continue to do so, until I get my share.

First, let me just say, our government is trying to purposely repeat the mistakes of the Great Depression. It is truly pathetic. The GOP wants austerity and the fucking dems want a trade war with China. They are fucking babies, unfit to lead. But if you think we have it bad, take gander at Europe. Their market losses are 3-4 times ours. The amount of carnage and loss of wealth taking place in Europe is nothing short of staggering.

If you’ve been taking hits, trying to to trade this tape, take a deep breadth and chill the fuck out. Ignore the misfits who offer nothing but vitriol. Again, I hate to constantly beat up on Twitter, but so many of those so called market experts are full of shit. Just so you know, behind the scenes, the managing elite at iBC have been banning a great many people, in order to clean up the site. While you might believe freedom of speech should reign supreme, the truth is, noise must be eliminated from intelligent discussion. I strongly advise that you cease and desist clowning around and get to work.

A lot of people are telling you to buy high dividend paying stocks. As much as I appreciate a good divvy, in a downward spiraling market, dividends are pointless. You will end up losing 10-20% of your principal before you receive your fist payment. What’s the point?

To that point, I screened for large cap stocks, yielding greater than 2%, that are up over the past 3 months. Here are the results:

No. Ticker 3-month Return Dividend Yield Market Cap
1 BMY 8.03 4.20 53,520,000,000
2 OKS 7.09 5.00 9,500,000,000
3 KMB 6.69 3.90 27,820,000,000
4 VFC 6.68 2.10 12,970,000,000
5 DCM 5.89 3.10 75,720,000,000
6 PGN 5.67 4.80 15,240,000,000
7 ED 4.99 4.20 16,700,000,000
8 DUK 4.79 5.00 26,620,000,000
9 SO 4.37 4.50 36,030,000,000
10 BAP 3.72 2.10 7,320,000,000
11 CHL 3.58 3.70 195,500,000,000
12 LO 3.49 4.70 15,320,000,000
13 D 2.74 3.90 28,900,000,000
14 NI 2.50 4.30 6,000,000,000
15 GIS 2.48 3.20 24,770,000,000
16 HSY 2.19 2.30 13,470,000,000
17 EPB 2.03 5.40 7,300,000,000
18 CNP 1.94 4.00 8,360,000,000
19 MO 1.63 6.10 56,680,000,000
20 RAI 1.25 5.70 21,850,000,000
21 MCD 1.10 3.20 90,610,000,000
22 MMP 1.03 5.20 6,810,000,000
23 AEE 0.59 5.20 7,190,000,000
24 CL 0.44 2.60 43,140,000,000
25 TGT 0.38 2.40 32,280,000,000
26 PPL 0.36 4.90 16,490,000,000
27 SCG 0.25 4.80 5,220,000,000
28 NTT -0.17 2.90 63,380,000,000
29 XEL -0.53 4.30 11,770,000,000
30 PEG -0.83 4.10 16,880,000,000

So that’s it, just 30 companies. Before you know it, people will sell them too. Even worse, if the economy worsens, the dividends will be called into question, offering a catalyst for short sellers to press the shares, further fucking you into a murderhole.

If you want safety, you’re better off hedging your longs with shorts. Don’t be afraid to sell short. As you can see, it can be very rewarding.

In the pre-market, shares of MS are getting smashed again, alongside everything else. I do believe we are very close to a sharp bounce. However, I will be very patient with my cash, opting to slowly dollar cost average into select names. For now, the only stocks I will be dollar cost averaging into are WNR-IPGP. But, as sure as I am sitting here, there will be 300% winners off of these lows, once people stop shitting themselves.

This is not “the” bottom, but one that will be traded and sopped up by fucked up trading robots, as you delve into a great depression. I was very bearish over the weekend and still believe the S&P dips below 1,000. However, today’s breadth is screaming for an oversold bounce higher. We are talking about 5-8% to the upside in the gayest fashion ever.

I say this with 70% of my assets in cash and very little to gain from such an occurrence. However, let it be known, I will force myself to buy more equities tomorrow until it borders on the insane. I will run my screens inside The PPT this evening and establish a game plan to bath in great profits, at the explicit expense of THE CEMENT HEAD and others.

While this might seem like an astronaut plan to you, it is something that must be done, so sorry.

Men from honourable realms, like Roger Nightingale, believe we are heading into a fabulous depression, dressed with starved babies and houses made from mud and cow shit. I happen to agree with him. The coming depression will poleax most of you into a new stone age, where you will be forced to build wheels for food. But, before all of that happens, first, we must rally into the sun, with balmy breezes caressing our faces–as we shoot RPG’s aimed at outerspace.

I find pleasure in futility.

I am probably wrong and this likely was done in a very innocent way. But the Faber-Cramer Morgan pump this morning almost seemed scripted. Jim was negative on the banks and said if he was at his hedge fund, he’d be a seller of calls in Morgan, if he owned them. A short while later, Faber came back on screen and quizzed Cramer about his negative posture on the banks, cornering Jim to say something positive on Morgan.

This is what happened next.

No more snarky comments from you. I will no longer tolerate the dick size contests on my blog. I strongly advise you to take your ruler and go measure your cocks on Jakegint’s blog. I do not appreciate your candor, jokes, or insight.

Early this morning I made an error. I allocated about 10% of my assets to IPGP, WNR and a little TNA. Even worse, I covered shorts. I kept my EXH short, however, because I believe it goes to $00.00. It was a bad day for me,despite being in a 70% cash position. It’s about winning and I am not doing that right now.

Like drunken vagrants you dared to litter my parlour with jokes and low brow humor. Even worse, you went about your
day in an exceedingly pompous manner. For that, I’ve decided to restrict all of you from commenting on ibc.

This suspension is for you own protection, because I am liable to ban every single one of you.

Good day.

Cramer and Faber’s pump of Morgan Stanley has fallen flat on its face. Their pump caused the stock to spike 7%. Fast forward a few short hours and the stock is down 7%. Make that a 14% reversal for the Cramer crowd. Because of this, amongst the carnage in anything related to China, stocks are spiraling lower.

I took a shot, buying WNR, TNA and IPGP. But I should have taken a shit instead. I am still short EXH and my cash position is about 68%. But this is not what I expected, needless to say. We are so oversold right now, the market is in danger of cascading lower. The level of pessimism is so contagious and absolute, there is a certain air of finality about this market. I regret buying stocks this morning. More so, I regret covering my shorts in TROW, NTRS and LM.

I took a small shot and lost. Time to regroup again and figure out how not to kill myself next.

There are several things I am looking at, as a tell, for a rally.

1. Share prices of MS, BAC and GS.
2. TLT. If it is up, we go down.
3. UUP. Same as 2.
4. USO.
5. JJC.
6. AAPL.

UPDATE: I bought 25,000 IPGP