Blackrock: Recession is Off the Table; Abandon the Ark

The bullish lads over at Blackrock, whom I often see running about Princeton like muppets with brooms up their backs, suggest that you sell treasuries, abandon the ark, and come to grips with the fact that recession is off the table.

“Economic indicators this week may show the U.S. economy experienced a mild slowdown but is not headed for a recession,” Richard Turnill, the global chief investment strategist, wrote in a report Monday on the company’s website. Investors should have an “underweight” position in Treasuries, according to the report. New York-based BlackRock manages $4.6 trillion.

Saying to underweight treasuries is code talk for get long stocks.

Professional bear pornographer, David Stockman, was gleeful with joy at the specter of a whole slew of bears getting ensnared in the bear net, almost like he knew something the rest of us didn’t. He is predicting dark days, global recession and pain, as well as agony. Your portfolios will be cast aside for vultures to devour, leaving you naked by the roadside, a poor forked radish.

According to David Stockman, it’s all a scam. The Fed are ‘blind arsonists’ without dry powder, running backwards, naked, in an ornery cornfield.

His target for the S&P for 2016 is 1,300.

BEHOLD.

In an unbelievable move today, former CFO H. Schiller refused to resign from the Valeant board of directors, which had to have come at the request of a certain W. A. Ackman. His tenure at Valeant has been nothing less than dreadful, as the companies disclosures have been abysmal and haven’t even been able to file its 10k yet, placing the company at the mercy of lenders.

As Ackman and Pershing fight for their lives and descend upon Valeant like fucking vultures in search of bountiful roadside protein, I suspect Mr. Schiller’s life on the VRX board will become inexorably arduous.

“The improper conduct of the company’s former chief financial officer and former corporate controller, which resulted in the provision of incorrect information to the committee and the company’s auditors, contributed to the misstatement of results,” Valeant said in the statement.

Schiller fired back Monday.

“At no time did I engage in any improper conduct that relates to any restatement of revenue the Company is considering,” Schiller said in a statement. “As a result of the fact that I did not engage in any improper conduct regarding this proposed restatement, I have respectfully declined the request from the company’s board to resign from the board.”

Under the company’s clawback policy, Schiller, whom the board chose to be interim CEO while Pearson was on medical leave, may be forced to pay back some of the $26.1 million in incentive compensation he received as chief financial officer in 2014.

He received $26 million in 2014. Perhaps his refusal to step down has something to do with the clawback policy. We shall see.

The recent respite in crude prices has provided the market with the necessary illusion that all is well, allowing for massive capital raises amongst some of the better positioned energy firms.

The god fearing folks over at Goldman filed an S-3 after the bell, raising $224 million for CXO at a proposed price of $101.40, about $3 below today’s closing price.

Indeud.

Legendary money changer, Leon Cooper, received a Wells Notice from the SEC today, for trading taking place in 2010.

Omega Advisors declined to comment on the matter.

Omega has approximately $5 billion under management. Their largest positions, based on recent filings, were GOOGL, AGN, AER and CIM–spread out, piecemeal style, avoiding the risk of overly concentrated gambles.

Just about 50% of stocks traded higher today, absorbing malevolent news from two different Fed heads –whose intentions were to hurt investors with invidious designs. The standouts were abundant in biotech, a sector that has appreciably underperformed the markets for 2016. While all sectors are currently in the black for 2016, biotechs remain lower to the tune of -12%.

Here were some standouts in the sector.

Energy related stocks took a breather, but firmed up a bit late in the day. Without question, short sellers are on the run from crazy men firing trebuchets. Bonds traded lower, as yields spiked. A calm breezy mood persists on Wall, paving a clear and indelible path towards higher prices.

A slow sleepy market is the perfect occasion to lay waste to short sellers. One of the more notable breakouts is SQ, Jack Dorsey’s other publicly traded company.

On the proprietary momentum screen there are a litany of biotech stocks found, such as  ARIA, FGEN, HALO, INSY and SRPT.

Future former CEO of Apple, Tim Cook, said in a speech given today that the company would not shrink from the responsibility of protecting the data embedded in their ridiculous iPhones. He doesn’t give a shit about the government’s requests and if Hitler himself had war plans on his iPhone, circa 1940s, Apple would not be obliged to hack into it for the benefit of the allied powers.

Speaking of shrinking, Apple unveiled two smaller items that zero Americans will buy: a smaller iPhone and Ipad pro. Also, they lowered the price of the iWatch, since no one buys them. Additionally, they unveiled new bands for that caricature of a time piece.

Good day.

Markets are evidently rallying on the news of an emergency rate hike being supplanted upon the market in April. Just a few days ago, the market was slathering itself in the refuse of zero rate hikes through 2016. Then the Fed meeting revealed ‘maybe 1 or 2’, as early as June. Well, today, two Fed officials, Lockhardon and Williams, said in separate, but deliberate, speeches that a hike was possible as early as April.

If done, this would be a non-conference meeting, which could be construed as something being done posthaste and without regard for market sensitivities.

Seeing the market up, one could only imagine it enjoys this flair coming out from the Federal Reserve and looks forward to future emergency tightenings–because inflation and full employment are such pressing issues of our time.

FML.

Pearson is out; Ackman is in. The former CFO, Howard Schiller, was asked to resign from the board, but refused to do so.

What?!

Ackman isn’t sending a surrogate in to represent Pershing’s interests. He’s doing it himself, telling of the seriousness surrounding this move. For Schiller to remain on board, obstinently, one could only imagine there is some serious turmoil behind the scenes.

After 8 years, Pearson is out, hung by his own petard.

Ackman’s statement regarding the appointment:

“I am looking forward to working with the board to identify new leadership for Valeant. The company’s large scale and dominant franchises in eye care, dermatology, GI, and other therapeutic areas coupled with its extraordinarily low valuation present a spectacular opportunity for a world-class health care executive. On behalf of all shareholders, we are extremely appreciative of Valeant employees’ hard work and commitment during this challenging time for the company.”

Ack-attack should’ve went hostile from the beginning, removing the troll, Pearson, from the company immediately. Instead, he had to wait until Nagasaki befell the share price and his fund to act. Hopefully, his actions aren’t too late. I don’t know what I’d do if Montauk Bill wasn’t around Wall Street kicking up dirt, making a big old soap opera of the place.

Alarmingly, it appears the entire biotech index is now tethered to the shares of VRX.