It Appears @JACK is Crushing it at $SQ; Stock Spikes After Earnings Beat

Who said Jack Dorsey was a fascist ruler of news and information on Twitter? I certainly did not. Did you see what his other company just did? They beat earnings expectations and guided up, all the while @Jack grew his beard. In other words, the company grew faster than Jack’s beard.

For the quarter, Square lost a shit load of money, but grew the top line at a 54% clip. The company guided up, ever so slightly, also increasing EBITDA to $18-24m from $8-14m

Reports Q2 (Jun) loss of $0.08 per share, $0.04 better than the Capital IQ Consensus of ($0.12); revenues rose 54.1% year/year to $171 mln vs the $157.88 mln Capital IQ Consensus.

In 2Q16, it processed $12.5 bln in GPV, an increase of 42% from 2Q15. New-seller growth made up the majority of its GPV increase, while positive dollar-based retention from existing sellers also had a meaningful impact.

Co achieved positive EBITDA of $13 mln.

Extended $189 mln in Square Capital, up 123% year over year and 23% sequentially.

Co issues upside guidance for Q3, sees Q3 revs of $167-$171 mln vs. $164.19 mln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate. Expects Adjusted EBITDA of $5-$6 mln.

Co issues raises guidance for FY16, sees FY16 revs of $655-$670 mln, up 6% at the mid-point of its prior guidance, and vs. $641.98 mln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate. SQ expects Adjusted EBITDA to be in the range of $18-$24 million, up from its previously guided range of $8-$14 mln.

God bless Jack Vissarionovich Dorsey.

SQ is higher by 9% in the after-hours, and lower by a mere 17% over the past 3 months. Winning.

What a fucking insane sector. This stock has been beaten like an ugly toy during 2016, off by more than 25%.

The company just beat and guided up, so shorts might get kicked in the nuts in the AM.

Reports Q2 (Jun) earnings of $0.87 per share, excluding non-recurring items, $0.32 better than the Capital IQ Consensus of $0.55; revenues rose 4.2% year/year to $934 mln vs the $862.68 mln Capital IQ Consensus.
Co issues guidance for FY16, sees EPS of $4.20-4.50 (Prior $4.10-4.50), excluding non-recurring items, vs. $4.19 Capital IQ Consensus Estimate; sees FY16 revs of $3.8-4.0 bln vs. $3.86 bln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate.
Gross Margins 18.5-19.0% (Prior 18-19%)
Operating Expense $380-400 mln (Reaffirm)
Operating Cashe Flow $400-650 mln (Prior $500-700 mln)
CapEx $275-325 mln (Prior $300-400 mln)
Shipments 2.9-3.0 GW (Reaffirm)

Shares are up 2.5% in the after hours, adding to its 3% regular session gain.

When crude was going down, people said that was a good thing. Over the past 2,000 years, there has been a negative correlation between the flammable black liquid and stocks. But today’s 4% bounce also provided succor for stocks. Why does such fuckery exist in the world today?

Oxygen.

If we are to judge Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, Islamic terrorism, right wingers gone mad, Black Lives Matter demand for more pigs to roast, the one thing they all have in common is oxygen. Everyone breathes the stuff and is the only thing that everyone has in common.

People have been doing crazy shit for exactly 6,000 years, according to the bible. If we could just figure out how to get rid of the stuff, life as we know it would be far less chaotic and quiet.

Dow erected itself into the bell, 3:30 ramp style. Get ready for some oxygen fueled earnings.

Cranky old fucking bastard.

Well, to be fair, Bill is buying BBN and likes gold. Then again, only curmudgeons like gold.

Nonetheless, I figured some of the ladies out there, the B. Gross roadies, would appreciate a taste of Gross on this genteel afternoon.

Ah, it was all an ingenious plan to root out the system of weak players, bankers in the way of wanton success and prosperity. It’s funny to see these large bracket braindead people get on teevee and try to make sense of things, without ever thinking about the obvious.

He thinks the whole negative rate idea might be sheer genius to bankrupt the weak players, since Europe is ‘over-banked.’

My theory is governments did the math and figured out they would not be able to service the interest on their debt in a decade or two. Therefore, they put plans into action to make the servicing costs for the debt, not only affordable, BUT PROFITABLE!!! By issuing new debt at negative rates, western society can continue to lavish itself in splendor, drawing blood from the young to preserve the organs of the old and the rich, and make money doing it.

That’s what I call diabolical genius.

Someone get me some data on previous bull markets that not only didn’t include the banks, but also shit on them. WTI is spiking 3% this afternoon and markets are sashaying higher again. All the while, trolls from middle earth are clawing at the walls of Deutsche Bank, Credit Suisse and Barclay’s. The entire European banking system is in disarray, while ours is on permanent vacation. God willing the newly adorned Empress of America will punish them and their $3.50 ATM fees.

Naturally, if the shares of leading banks are down 20-50% for the year, credit is going to be tight. Banks cannot lend money out the door, whilst it’s being burned inside. Maybe it doesn’t matter anymore? Perhaps we’ve transcended the lucidity of balance sheets and have adapted to a world of smoke and mirrors, where share buybacks and central bank rigging is all we need?

DB is at fresh record lows.

Thoughts on the matter, good sirs?

As a megalomaniac, it’s important to control, throttle even, the flow of information and news. On this planet, there are just a handful of places where human beings converge to get information.

There is Facebook, Reddit, The Drudge Report, Google, LinkedIn, and Twitter. Since Matt Drudge merely posts links to articles, that can’t be controlled until someone figures out a way to offer him a heart attack. Conde Nast already owns Reddit. Zuckerberg and the Google or Alphabet nerds are running their news outlets like communist propaganda era arms. MSFT bought LNKD. And @Jack is trying to be Zuckerberg with Twitter, minus all of the cool profits. Plus, people think he just wants to head to Square and live out his life like a full bearded booze hound.

Shares of Twitter are rising on takeover rumors today. Normally I dismiss these rumors, but the climate has never been better for megalomaniacs who’d like to control things. I wouldn’t be surprised to see someone bid for this piece of shit and fold it into a larger, money making, enterprise.

The only question is who?

If the title of this post doesn’t jibe well with reality, it’s because you’ve haven’t transcended your physical frame into the multiverse, where all of the basic laws of physics and math have different rules.

The EIA just reported a build of 1.4m barrels of crude vs the expectations of a draw from between 900k-1.9m. At first, that sent crude lower. Then traders had a look at the gasoline draw of 3.2m and decided ‘good enough.’

“Risks for oil remain skewed to the downside in the second half of 2016,” analysts at Morgan Stanley said in a report. “Supply disruptions and risk appetite were supportive April-June, but fundamental headwinds are growing, which outnumber any recent positives.”

Standard Chartered bank said there was “no fundamental justification for recent oil-price falls” and “the global oil market has rebalanced, and U.S. crude supply and inventories are expected to fall.

On this news, WTI is higher by 1.8%.

This isn’t meant to be a political post. I’ve hung up my anti Hillary tirade a few weeks ago. This is a significant headwind for markets, one that is rarely discussed because no one believes Trump can win.

We have a Presidential candidate, one who is extremely popular amidst the disaffected part of the population, who is calling the market a bubble and slamming Federal Reserve policy.

“I did invest and I got out, and it was actually very good timing,” the Republican presidential nominee said in a phone interview with Fox Business. “But I’ve never been a big investor in the stock market.”

“Interest rates are artificially low,” Trump said. “The only reason the stock market is where it is is because you get free money.”

Trump said the market would “go great” if he were elected.

The fallacy in Trump’s thinking of markets ‘going great’ under his leadership is that fiscal policy takes time to effect change. He is right when he says the only reason why stocks are up is due to monetary policy. We all know the game is wholly rigged. There isn’t a fucking chance in red hell for stocks to trade higher the day following Trump gets elected. He’s a weapon of change, a disruptor of the status quo, one that seeks to remove the applecart from a very greedy and select elite who’ve done well under Obama’s policies.

While Trump’s anti globalist, anti market manipulating capitalistic plans might help the economy in the long term, there will be hiccups along the way. Those of you voting for Trump should know the risks involved, as it pertains to your portfolios, should he get elected.

It was down 6% earlier, but now it’s down a tad under 4%. The Winklevoss twins and the rest of the silicon valley, baby blood sucking elite, prefer to have a stateless digital currency, as opposed to the jingoistic racist shit the U.S. Treasury circulates. As such, the Bitcoin will be provided succor, for as long as the new Ceasars of the economy deems it necessary.

“Yes – it is a large breach,” Fred Ehrsam, co-founder of Coinbase, a cryptocurrency wallet and trading platform, wrote in an e-mail. “Bitfinex is a large exchange, so it is a significant short term event, although Bitcoin has shown its resiliency to these sorts of events in the past.”

Bitfinex confirmed in a message to Bloomberg News on Wednesday that the hackers took 119,756 bitcoin, or about $65 million at current prices. More than $1.5 billion has been wiped out from bitcoin’s market capitalization this week, according to research from CoinDesk.

“We will look at various options to address customer losses later in the investigation,” Bitfinex wrote in a blog post. “We ask for the community’s patience as we unravel the causes and consequences of this breach.”

You fucking morons keep buying this shit, in the hopes of a material explosion at the Treasury, or something that will deter people from trusting the U.S. greenback. While I might not trust the people who print the money, I certainly prefer to have my money backed by aircraft carriers and Navy Seals, rather than some seedy fucked face tech guy who can’t keep his hob-nosed website secure when holding millions of dollars worth of bitcoins for a bedraggled public.