Fly Buy: $DCAR

Long the Dick-Car — hoping to quintuple my money in it.

I’ve been in my deathbed all morning and afternoon and just woke up so that I could eat a sammich. I see stocks are flagging and my NUGT is now pressing the highs of the day. It truly is in beast mode and nothing can stop it — not even lower gold.

It must be horrible being you — disfigured monster in the comments sector or lurking, creepily, from afar — hoping to see Le Fly stumble, splatter, and fall — but it never happens. Must be horrible.

I have two predictions.

1. Stocks hit new record highs by Easter.
2. Avenatti goes to prison by Xmas.

I don’t have a best ideas list — leave me the hell alone.

While you were enjoying the comforts of modern entertainment last night, I was entreated to a malady so severe — I hallucinated all through the night. I toiled through night terrors, sudden bursts of panic and I was shivering from my internal temperature drop. Medicated on very high doses of antibiotics and cold/flu elixirs, Le Fly didn’t think he’d make it through the night. Lo and behold, I stand before you, once again, victorious, even during the most trivial of circumstances.

Although I am not completely better and I do have a monstrous headache that has split my skull to pieces, I should be able to function today.

Market futures are sharply higher and my suggestion, or rather, my implication, that WTI crude wasn’t down yesterday was reason enough to hold came true. I suspect I’ll get boxed around in TLT/TMF a little, and NUGT might be barreling down from a head and shoulders top, something we’ll have to monitor closely, but on the all — I will make an extraordinary amount of money today.

Feeling a bit tired. I’m off to take a heavily medicated nap.

In the meantime, it appears I was right again. Markets do not trade lower with WTI up. You should get out there now and buy all of the crude stocks.

My Quant is higher 65 basis points today, poleaxing the benchmark. If you want to learn how to do this shit, I teach it for free — just pay for a god damned membership to Exodus — you cheap bastards.

Other than that, I enjoyed wins in NUGT, ROKU, AYX, and RPD.

Will bonds reverse and go lower?

Absolutely not.

Good day.

Adding to my exposure to treasuries, I upped the ante and bought some TMF.

Figure this shit out. You can get a higher yield on a US 1 mo than a US 10 yr.

What does it all mean? What does it all mean?

WTI is flat and junk bonds barely changed. Wake me up when stocks are down 1,000.

Bear in mind, my advice provided to you today is impaired by a heavily medicated and sleep deprived mind. I could give you the long version — but I rather not. Just know that I’m feeling a wee bit under the weather today — drugged up on anti-histamines and DayQuil. I had been nursing three children with the flu and now I’ve gotten something truly dreadful for myself as a reward.

Markets are weak, but oil is not. You should not sell because all sell offs begin with WTI dumping out. Since it’s not, I suspect this fade is short lived. We are seeing a rather robust, if I might be so bold, move higher in gold today. An enterprising man might book profits and be done with it. But men heavily dosed up, sick and ached to the bone will hold his 15% position in NUGT and perhaps even bid for more.

Here’s an interesting piece of information for you. CME futures are now pricing in a December rate CUT.

The ten year is off another 4bps to 2.41%. My TLT is edging higher and everything you thought you knew about bonds is meaningless. Apparently, we can have a roaring economy and lower rates too. How do you like that?

At the present, more than $10 trillion in bonds are now negative yielding on a global basis. I could screen shot and show you the fucking bonds — but you’re too stupid to understand the significance anyway.

It means NOTHING is what I’m trying to tell you — all of it and none of it.

This was the level I was concerned about — the potential head and shoulders top — ransacking and cold hand slapping longs across the face with stinging anger. This is where you sell — if you were just in it for a few laughs and some money.

Hard money assclowns remain long for the games to come — the eventual dollar disintegration and the evaporation of your neighbors net worth under mountains of Federal debt.

What am I going to do?

Unsure. Haven’t made up my mind yet. The quick and easy money has been made.

This is such an ominous nothing-burger. Sounds really fucked up, but in actuality means nothing. We’ve learned that negative yields are simply another human mistake, a benign one at that — such as the redundant television remote control or automatic garbage cans.

This is probably your biggest market story this week.. The value of negative-yielding debt just topped $10 trillion (again) pic.twitter.com/iB2eLXRjFv

— David Ingles (@DavidInglesTV) March 25, 2019

The deflationary vortex is real. Those of you without any money know for sure that it exists. The rest of you view it, as I do, as Santa Claus.

A SELL THE NEWS EVENT!

Nasdaq futures are lower by 35. The bond market is rallying again, with the 10yr down another 2bps to 2.436%. And gold is being bid higher, by 0.11%.

What does it all mean?

Absolutely nothing at all.