Fly Sell: SHLD

I sold 90% of my Sears Holdings Corporation [[SHLD]] position, north of $89.

My new buys of Wimm-Bill-Dann Foods OJSC (ADR) [[WBD]] (Russian Milk) and Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] (Chinese Trucks) are paying instant dividends, via going the fuck higher. Despite the indices fagging out at these levels, my positions march higher. From Sears Holdings Corporation [[SHLD]] to Flowserve Corporation [[FLS]] to  Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] to Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] , they march higher.

You see people, “The Fly” is a very generous person. After all, he donates his time and “calculator brain” to the lowly people of the internet, on a daily basis, as part of Prezident O’bama’s government stimulus program. iBankCoin is a robust instrument of economic stimulus. You should never forget that.

The first week of January is the most important week of the year, in my not-so-humble opinion. It sets the tone for the entire year, revealing to the world what Wall Street really thinks of the market. Without equivocation, Wall Street wants higher stock prices and they want them now.

So get out there and throw a pie—filled with cherries—at your neighbors face and buy some stocks. If you have a mental disability and do not know how to pick stocks, join The PPT and smoke a cigar to celebrate your evolution.

Into this bull run, I favor Sears Holdings Corporation [[SHLD]] , Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] , POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Wimm-Bill-Dann Foods OJSC (ADR) [[WBD]] , Mechel OAO (ADR) [[MTL]] , Flowserve Corporation [[FLS]] , Lennar Corporation [[LEN]] , AgFeed Industries, Inc. [[FEED]] , Corinthian Colleges, Inc. [[COCO]] and even Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] . As unbelievable as it may seem, the aforementioned securities are all current positions of mine, indeud.

Now be gone and sin no more. For the next time I catch you hanging out here, in that burlap sweater of yours, I will kick you down an empty elevator shaft, wheelchair and all.

Our app launched today. If you have an iphone, be sure to download the app here. Or, go to app store and punch in “ibankcoin.com the fly.” The keyword search function is a little gay, but so is Apple.

Beijing, China

If you are into industrialization, the above picture is the end result, particularly in Asia. Due to a perfect blend of not giving a fuck and greed, Asian cities are smog heavens, thanks in large part to horrendous emission standards. I know it’s very uncool to kick Chindia in the nuts, while a perfectly good America is around to kick; but I speak the truth. Our enemies from Asia are DESTROYING the planet, one truck at a time.

The answer:

Cummins turbocharger

Ahhh, what a delight! Cummins is your play on rising emission standards, dictated by EU III and EU IV.

Here in the states, emission standards are being buoyed by Government stimulus, forcing truck fleets to upgrade their diesel engines or be eliminated. Starting 1/1/2010, a multitude of cities and states enacted new laws that will prohibit bullshit trucks. For example, the city of Oakland is prohibiting trucks made earlier than 1993 from entering their ports (get the fuck out of here!), unless they upgrade their fucking diesel engines of course.

Who benefits, you might ask?

Cummins Inc. [[CMI]]

Cummins is the premier play on the resurgence of the U.S. trucking fleet, most likely to occur in 2h, 2010. And, more importantly, they derive 25% of their profits from Asia.

Think bullshit Foton light truck

Recently, Cummins inked a deal with Foton for 400,000 engines or 20% of China’s light truck market. And, they have a deal in place with medium-heavy truck maker, Dong Feng, where they own a 20% stake in the joint venture. According to estimates, the company should earn $3.65 in 2011, based on a U.S. truck order recovery and Al Gore pressing his boot heel on foreign nations to upgrade their smog machines, in an effort to kill less people via egregious air pollution.

Tag a 20 multiple on $3.65 and you have a $73 stock price inside of one year, aka 55% higher from here.

Everyone with a series 7 east of the Marshall Islands has been looking for a pullback; because, well, they’re just looking for it. There is no specific near term catalyst that will stall the rally, short of the dollar rising for a few days. People just love to hate this market. As a result, they get the black flag planted in their red ink.

I know a lot of people who got caught leaning short today, attempting to play the early January swoon. See, I have a problem with going with the herd, which is why I elected to avoid getting sucked into the January bear bet. Lots of people are in it (the vice); and they shall feel the iron tightening around their pockets, until they wiggle loose.

At the end of the day, or beginning, you’re all a bunch of know-it-alls. You know everything and require little input from anyone else, because God himself is guiding your actions. One day you will awaken from your cocoon induced slumber and realize the mistakes you made were all preventable. You could have done better, yet you chose to bet against the guy in the fucking space rocket.

Does that make any sense to you? I mean, there are lots of people to bet against. It makes zero sense to bet against SAM (space alien magician), but you still do, nevertheless.

Today’s biggest winners are names with large short positions, like ATP Oil & Gas Corporation [[ATPG]] , Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] , Superior Well Services, Inc. [[SWSI]] and Patriot Coal Corporation [[PCX]] . With my money, I like Russian milk, via Wimm-Bill-Dann Foods OJSC (ADR) [[WBD]] and truck parts, via Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] . Moreover, I will outline my rationale behind CMI later on, maybe this evening.

I bought 10,000 Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , north of $46.90 and 5,000 Wimm-Bill-Dann Foods OJSC (ADR) [[WBD]] , in the low $24.50’s.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, China will outlaw trucks and Russia will ban milk. And, you may lose money.

Some of you goat herders are short the market, awaiting a prolonged pullback to the March lows of 2009, which is EXACTLY why I bet against you and spit in your face. During the “BROKEN ROBOT” era of 2009 (late December), I thought about shorting stocks in early 2010, due to distant memories of getting hemlocked in 2004, by way of a dastardly fucked up January. However, that idea sort of drifted out to sea, like a pelican in a canoe, as I counted my money and drank my coffee.

Thanks to the invention of the single server coffee machine, more specifically THE KEURIG, I drink more coffee than God now. If I should awaken in the middle of the night and head downstairs for a beverage, it is coffee that shall be the chosen liquid for my person. Do you understand what I am saying to you, caveman? I declare the share price of Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] to be a bit extended here and pray to the Gods for a pullback. If the stock pulls back to $75 or lower, I shall empty my bank accounts and thrust into the stock, yet again.

Generally speaking, my holdings are off to “le fucking races” today, led by gains in POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , CGG Veritas (ADR) [[CGV]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , Flowserve Corporation [[FLS]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , [[CBD]] and U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] .

Do not fear me because I am better than you. Fear me because I shall punch your mustache off with such vengeance and veracity; your entire face will cave in from the g-force.

Top picks: whatever I think of next.

Instead of offering cogent stock advice this evening, I will outline a time tested strategy that will insure market diversification and trading discipline, with regards to adding to or reducing positions.

Before you sit down and screen for ideas, understand what the 8 principal sectors of the market and what percentage of your money should be invested in them. If you are one of those guys who refuses to invest in “banks” or “oils” due to immediate adverse market conditions, you are missing the point. Being diversified is about participating in today’s hottest stocks and biggest losers. Unless you are a Godly market timer, being diversified is the way to go, mainly because it will offer dumb fuckers peace and prosperity (wholly dependent on the quality of the stock picks of course).

At any rate, let me offer an example of sector diversification, before your heads explode from confusion.

Basic Materials: 15%

Consumer Goods: 10%

Financial: 10%

Healthcare: 10%

Industrial Goods: 15%

Service: 10%

Technology: 15%

Utilities: 5%

Cash: 10%

Okay, now that the weighting have been established (hopefully after careful consideration), it’s time to select stocks. If your bullshit account at E-trade is low 6 figs, you should keep the number of stocks per group under 3. So, essentially, this means you will select a maximum of 16 stocks, and no less than 8. In an effort to avoid getting into a philosophical debate over: “what’s worse, rape or bad stocks?” I will select 16 random names, irrespective of quality.

Basic Materials: Endeavour International Corporation [[END]] , TETRA Technologies, Inc. [[TTI]]

Consumer Goods: Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , Skechers USA, Inc. [[SKX]]

Financial: Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , KKR Financial Holdings LLC [[KFN]]

Healthcare: Wyeth [[WYE]] , Perrigo Company [[PRGO]]

Industrial Goods: Raytheon Company [[RTN]] , Gafisa SA (ADR) [[GFA]]

Services: The Finish Line, Inc. [[FINL]] , Bally Technologies Inc. [[BYI]]

Technology: Intersil Corporation [[ISIL]] , Texas Instruments Incorporated [[TXN]]

Utilities: Enersis S.A. (ADR) [[ENI]] , ONEOK, Inc. [[OKE]]

Okay, now you are officially diversified, at least amongst equities. Most of you should have some fixed income exposure. However, that would send many of you to an early sleep; so I’ll keep it straight gangster, 100% equities.

Once you’ve committed to this strategy, it’s important to stick with it. This means: avoid cashing in on winners abruptly, and sticking with losers—despite the insatiable desire to cut them loose and move on. Don’t get me wrong, if something materially changes in a name, you need to sell it and move the funds into a better name. However, if a stock is going down, only due to market weakness, real men buy said names on dips and build up positions, instead of blowing them out. When I used to adhere to the program, I’d review my weightings on a quarterly basis. Let’s say GMCR and SKX shot to the moon, sending my Consumer Goods exposure to 20%, I would force myself to sell off enough of GMCR or SKX, in order to get the weighting back in line, around 10%. On the other hand, if GS and KFN tanked, sending my financial weighting down to 5%, I’d force myself to buy more GS or KFN, to get the weighting back to 10%. The key to this strategy is having good weightings and stellar stocks picks. Unfortunately, many of you will fall short, in a most atrocious manner, attempting to invest like Le Fly.

Finally, there will be times when the market is not worth investing in, bringing the topic of cash reserves to the forefront. Generally speaking, one should have at least 5-10% of cash on hand, in order to buy severe dips or participate in short term trading opportunities. However, every once in awhile, like in 2008, the market is simply “too gay to buy”. Your cash reserves can be used to short sell stocks or invest in levered ETF’s (providing you are into asshole products of course). Or, you can simply bulk up on cash, just to reduce beta during market declines, in an attempt to time peaks and valleys.

Either way you slice it, investing is an art, not a science. There are thousands of ways to skin a cat; this is just one of them.

“Let the banks die and their employees eat hot lead, for the good of the country and banking system.”

“The fastest way to lasting peace is through the demolition of entire nations in our way.”

“What Wall Street needs is less bailouts and more bankruptcies.”

“In the future, your local grocery store will only accept gold bars. Your money is as good as worthless.”

“OMG, I hate CNBC. Did you see Cramer last night? What a douche.”

“The housing market will never rebound. Ever.”

“This country will never produce jobs because we sent them all to China. Enjoy your day job at Burger King.”

“We need to spend a trillion a year on the military because China is going to invade Oregon one day.”

“Global warming is real. Therefore, we must stop drilling for oil.”

“Our current system of healthcare is perfect. Why mess with perfection?”

“I am a fat slob; therefore, I am on the Atkins diet.”

“Get out there and vote. It’s your constitutional right. Make a difference, by way of electing a republican or democrat!”

“Bush did 9/11.”

If you believe any of the crap written above, then you are “going full retard” in 2010. Congrats. Feel free to add some of your own quotes in the comments section. They must exemplify the stupidity of man, while entertaining me. God speed.

All jokes aside, I take this New Years business very seriously. With the help of my Voodoo Physician and astrological surgeon, “The Fly” conducts a series of New Years eve rituals that would send most of you running, crying for a glass of goats milk. I have no interest in revealing such practices to total strangers. However, just know and understand, Le Casa de Fly has a lot of lemons inside of it, a lot of fucking lemons.

At any rate, use today to get rid of bad habits and practices, for tomorrow is renewal, a new beginning. Make reasonable commitments and take them seriously you fucking assholes. You know, life is not about drinking some champagne, like a fucking homo, then throwing up on your blanket. Life is about progression, improvement of your life, which will have a ripple effect around your close friends and loved ones. If you’re not getting better, year in and year out, you’re doing something wrong.

Very sincerely, I had a blast clowning it up for the internet in 2009, even though I was not joking. This is not a game, nor will I ever treat it as such.

Get inebriated and do it in style, for tomorrow you are a new man. Nah, just kidding. You’ll be the same loser you are right now.

Ciao (I hate people who say “ciao.” Therefore, as logic dictates, right now, I hate myself).