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Dr. Fly

18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.

Back in the Mine

I wasn’t gonna go back into the mine until Benjamin Bernanke flicked his cigar ashes at me, calmly stating “back in the mine, bitch.”

I sold UA and bought three stocks today: BZH, SWHC and JRCC.

Despite the uncertainty of the Fiscal Cliff, the market wants higher. We’ve been climbing the wall of worry for over a week, as predicted by ChessnWine (well done!).

Based upon this unprecedented Fed action (tethering rates to unemployment), I am a big bull on precious metals and commodities in general.

Top picks: EXK, JRCC.

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Fly Buy: $BZH

I started a position in BZH.

Disclaimer: If you buy BZH because of this post, the next time you are on a dark desolate road, you will catch a flat tire. And you may lose money.

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BREAKING: CHUCK BENNETT WITHDRAWS HIS CANDIDACY!

This just in.

 

News from Asia is that Chuck Bennett, front runner in the iBC Tabbed Blogger elections, is withdrawing from the race, amidst widespread reports of sexual improprieties.

An iBC reporter in the orient had a chance to ask Chuck about his withdrawal and this is what he said.

“I just want to get back to a normal life, focus more on the family, and get back to work. To my supporters at iBankCoin, I love you–but not in a sexual way of course.”

NOTE: Chuck is single and without children.

NOTE II: Bravo to Maximus for having the inside track on this Chuck Bennett story, truly groundbreaking journalism on his behalf.

Where will the Chuck Bennett votes go and who will Chuck Bennett endorse? Stay tuned.

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Buying More Guns

I sold out of UA this morning, following JP Morgan’s initiation and $45 p/t. Fucking shit. I was convinced UA was going higher, until it started to go lower. I don’t have time to dick around and wait for the company to prove JPM wrong, so I’m out.

I nibbled on a little more SWHC. Since it’s a 17% position already, I need to be very selective where I add to the stock. Without a doubt in my mind, this stock will be significantly higher in exactly 3 months.

With more than 20% of cash on hand again, I am looking for one or two degenerate gambles, only for a trade. I am looking for a stock under $10, ready to rip. However, at the same time, I am cognizant that the very fact that I’m searching for such depravity the market may indeed be topping out.

I’ll keep you motherfuckers updated.

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My Endorsement For New Tabbed Blogger

Chuck Bennett is a friend of mine and he comes with a package deal, being friends with “The Devil.” As clever as Chuck is at obtaining insanely accurate stock market calls, will he be a productive blogger? You have to ask yourself that question, gentlemen, when voting tomorrow.

Rhino is a work horse and does have a certain following behind him. But will he crack under pressure, the pressure of the big stage, once he is relied upon to deliver quality picks on a daily basis? Or will he go “John Rambo” on his effeminate city and end up in prison?

Clearly Raul is mentally disturbed. But he seems to have good work ethic, with thought provoking posts, even if they’re filled with shit pertaining to charts.

DCHsn6 is a spy with orders to disrupt the social fabric of iBankCoin (trust me). A vote for him is clearly a vote against the flourishing democratic dictatorship taking place here on a daily basis.

Truth be told, Elizamae is one of my favorite Blogger Network reads. His work is professional grade, even though he is a lowly traffic guard.

And then we have Maximus. I don’t know a God damned thing about this man. He hasn’t really campaigned against his peers, claiming to be “in bed, shitting, with the diarrhea.” I can’t speak to that. But he did make a nice campaign video, one that warrants attention because iBankCoin is always in the market for people with technical skills. After all, Chuck is great at being a sociopath. Rhino is great at killing people. RAUL is great at eating the brains of monkeys. DCHsn6 is a competent double agent, provocateur extraordinaire. Elizame is well adept at helping 5 years olds cross busy intersections. And Maximus, the underdog, makes hollywood quality videos.

As always, “The Fly” endorses the absurd and superfluous. Therefore, I vote for Maximus, despite the fact that his writing skills are exactly on a 5th grade level, according to The iBankCoin writing assessment analyzer (TiWAA).

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The New Normal is Not Now

Many of you are discounting “The Fiscal Cliff” as something to mock.

Dear friends, you are going to be enveloped in big government bureaucracy. All of the joys and splendour enjoyed under the Bush administration will be gone. A new era of higher taxes and punitive regulations awaits you and it will change the way you invest; you just don’t know it yet.

Companies will reduce and suspend dividend payments and newly forged healthcare dictatorships will force companies to contract their labor forces. Only thanks to the Federal Reserve and cheap money do you escape the pain of American austerity.

Having less than 20% cash, invested in high beta names, I am hardly in a position to claim “conservatism.” However, “The Fly” has plans for the month of January. I’ve told you many times before, the month of December is a non event. If it was a person, it would be called ‘persona non grata’.

The cold winter nights will reveal themselves in full force, only after you’ve inebriated yourself stupid, celebrating the new year.

I was +1.8% for the day.

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P and L On Current Holdings

VHC +14%
EXK -8%
ADTN- new
CROX +5%
SWHC -8%
UA -6.5%

In addition to that, I own some old man stocks, even a little FB and AAPL–but nothing too meaningful. I have nothing to hide here, playing an open hand for better or for worse. Do you think I give a shit what any of you think? I’ve got real world problems to deal with, patent litigation lawsuits against the largest corporations in the world to worry about, not the opinions of the meek.

Although my current roster of stocks looks like something out of the handbook for “INVESTING LIKE A FUCKING LOSER”, all of those stocks will trade higher. I don’t have an interest in executing stop losses in names that I know to be inexpensive.

The only thing separating “The Fly” from greatness is time.

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Fly Buy: $ADTN

I started a position in ADTN.

Disclaimer: If you buy ADTN because of this post, Obama will run and get elected for a 3rd term. And, you may lose money.

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What a Wonderful, Meaningless, Melt Up

The classic early morning pump. Let’s see if this stupid market can hold its gains until 4. Don’t mind me, really. I am extremely bitter, upset at myself for making a series of jackass mistakes. It will all come together soon and I will be enjoying new highs. But it’s the process, the anticipation, that truly taxes my patience.

More importantly, early polling data suggests both Rhino and Chuck are locks for tomorrow’s election. However, the 3rd spot is still up for grabs. Perhaps one of the candidates would like to allege sexual improprieties or financial malfeasance?

I’ve been spending my days dealing with HVAC guys, talking to stupid people, laughing at how petty they all are. It’s amazing what these people will say for an extra 100 bucks. They’re all liars and thieves, offering amateurish sales pitches for dumb shit. Aside from that, I am back to working late hours, sleeping less than 4 hours per night. I view excessive sleep as something a slothish creature of mediocrity might partake in.

Speaking of which, may the Gods of lightening reduce me into a pile of ashes if SWHC doesn’t trade up sharply from these levels. My holdings were down another 1% yesterday, but have regained 1% this morning. I have no doubt that all of my stocks, especially VHC, will give up their gains by the end of the day. I’ve told you before and I will say it again, I am cursed and need to “obtain more karma” in order to get back to my winning ways.

Developing…

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