Delbert Grady is My Dog Trainer

My wife signed up our stupid dog for obedience school. On the first day of dog school, the instructor, who spoke with a heavy British accent, explained how she was going to train our stupid dogs. Then, in what I can only describe as being a pleasant surprise, she went to the back to get her dog, who actually looked like a ferocious wolf.

Standing there, with her obedient wolf at her side, she discussed how older dogs (like her wolf) didn’t particularly care for puppies, since “they behave inappropriately.” She furthered: “if your dog misbehaves and attacks my dog, he will correct your dog.”

No one in the audience picked up on her Delbert Grady impersonation but me, I am sure.

She continued: “I will not introduce my dog to most of the dogs here because the bigger dog is always at fault. If my dog is attacked, and corrects your dog, he will be to blame, so I just avoid the situation altogether.”

If you insist to know, my dog failed miserably on her first day, leading the disciplinary British instructor to inform me that she’d “starve the dog for a day or two in order to properly motivate her.”

DEVELOPING…

Now, it isn’t always the case, but typically when the mob is leaning one way, the exact opposite is about to happen. Too many of you misread the signals by what is stated on this blog, penned by an eccentric, professional money manager with almost two decades of success. What I am pointing to, rather, is overwhelming bearishness in a particular sector, like social media 6 months ago, Apple right now and gold after yesterday’s close.

The pattern keeps repeating itself and it’s always hard to bet the other way.

I don’t mean to tout my algorithms again; but it was built for this very thing: mean reversion. When the crowd is too bullish or bearish, the algos pick up on it and register overbought/oversold signals. The system weeds out the weak signals and pronounces the ones to pay attention to.

Here is a post done two days ago, inside of the private confines of The PPT, regarding Apple and gold.

Let me couch this great call on gold with the fact that I didn’t participate. I am not a machine, subject to the whims and emotional opinions that all humans are saddled with. However, the results are convincing and for those who took this advice made a year’s worth of gains today, short DUST or long NUGT, AG, IAG or EGO.

Several days ago, we were all bearish on stocks. Yesterday we were optimistic. Today we are on edge, waiting for direction. The media exasperates what we are feeling, sometimes coercing us to make poor financial decisions. This is important to remember, especially for those new in the business: things aren’t always what they seem. The direction is never clear and 75% of what you hear in the media is hyperbole, meant to attract viewers, like a soap opera.

Get some conviction on something that you are passionate about and stick with it for the duration.

I usually don’t go off topic, unless of course someone wants to be President. I have a penchant for Presidential contests. But this really pisses me off.

Shame on the state of Texas, those god damned steers and queers. Oh, wait, perhaps they’ll send me to jail too now for making “insensitive” and “homophobic” comments.

Check this out:

Earlier this year, Carter and a friend got into an Facebook argument with someone regarding “League of Legends,” an online video game with notoriously die-hard fans. Justin’s father, Jack, explained to ABC local affiliate KVUE that at the end of the conversation “[s]omeone had said something to the effect of ‘Oh you’re insane, you’re crazy, you’re messed up in the head,’ to which [Justin] replied ‘Oh yeah, I’m real messed up in the head, I’m going to go shoot up a school full of kids and eat their still, beating hearts,’ and the next two lines were lol and jk [all sic].”

In case you’ve never been online before today: Internet shorthand LOL stands for “laughing out loud”; JK means “just kidding.”

A woman in Canada who came across the boy’s post failed to see the humor, however, and alerted police after Internet research revealed Carter, who was 18 at the time of the incident, lived near an elementary school. Carter was taken into custody and charged with making a “terroristic” threat.

An Austin, Texas, police spokesperson told Parentdish the department takes any threat made against schools seriously, especially after recent events.

Carter’s parents have since launched a Change.org petition seeking signatures to protest their son’s situation on the grounds of freedom of speech.

In the meantime, Carter, now 19, faces up to eight years in prison. His trial is scheduled to begin July 1.

source

This kid has been in prison since March for making a violent comment inside of a violent video game, which was immediately presented with the customary “LOL” and “J/K” acronyms, clearly stating the jocular nature of his idiotic comments.

Teenagers say stupid things all the time. I find it to be UNBELIEVABLE that these pencil pushing monsters in Texas are actually holding this kid since March and are dead serious about ruining his life for a comment left on a nerd-filled video game, intended to harm no one.

The Attorney General, Greg Abbott, needs to step in and drop the charges right away. I cannot think of a more ridiculous abuse of power, than what these morons are doing to this kid right now.

I must say, The Devil’s call for an immediate upside reversal today was sublime.

The bears fell for the old playing dead on the side of the road trick, again. TLT went from being down hard to flat and now everyone is celebrating over 8 balls.

AMBA looks fantastic. I’d be a big buyers here if I wasn’t 100% long. I like to be 100% long, as it gives me a sense or purpose. I am a man with a plan, with unbending conviction that is often viewed as unreasonable. Truth be told, to be successful in this business, you have to be a little crazy.

This all looks good to me. IMMR reversal has been completed and the rest of my positions are coiled and ready to go.

Let’s give it another hour or two and see how this worked out.

You people really need to stop it with the snarky, holier than thou, attitudes. I’ve been doing this crap for over 15 years and have always managed to make coin in the market. The notion that– “oh, looky here, everyone is bullish, so of course the market is going down” is so smug and unbecoming. It’s the exact opposite of how you should be thinking, not only as an investor, but a human being.

Having said that, it just so happens that I lit a stack of M-80’s yesterday and forgot to throw them. Now my hand is gone. My positions are seemingly lower. TLT is down. Where’s Ben?

This can all get very frustrating when the market doesn’t adhere to every single request.

But none of this is important, compared to the giant story of the day: BBRY.

The shares are slipping down into a crevasse and might never come back. Canada has humiliated herself, yet again. First gold and now this comes to light. This is so ridiculous words cannot express how badly Canada deserves to be attacked by an alien force and quarantined from the rest of the world.

As for the overall market: as an investor in several degenerate names, I can only hope and pray to the new gods and the old for some relief. Odds are we all get crucified into the bell, however.

Samurai sword to your face…dog.

The Japanese are running hard and strong. Soon enough they will invade neighboring Asian countries and make them slaves, concubines, for the warriors who deserve to be honored. All of your nonsense is now rendered to be worthless. Go play with your balls, play with your nose, just don’t play with my market.

Up we go, like a hot air balloon attached to a god damned space rocket.

500 POINTS IN YOUR STUPID FACE.

Yeah, I’m long WETF.

As if he ever left.

According to the market, there isn’t anything to fear. Fear itself, as is always the case, was the culprit. The facts on the ground dictated otherwise and all we needed was a little prodding to get going again.

Into the melt up, I recovered almost all of my losses. However, if I possessed the conviction of a man with purpose, like a bank robber or serial killer, I would’ve made a fortune. All of the elements were present: cash, balls, cheap stocks. Yet, I opted to wait. Well, I waited one day too long and now must depend on the ignorance of others to allow me to “get liquid” into a cartoonish tape.

AMBA is the next stock to go. I’m also confident that the gods will bless me with splendour, long IMMR. They’ve been smiling upon me since I was young, watched over me as I conducted myself like a complete goon. But that’s the past. We shall not delve into such unpleasantness.

What are you dog brained folks buying? Do you still like AAPL? Are you catching the golden knife? The world wants to know.

In honour of all that is good and just, spread the iBankCoin word. Go to your neighbours stupid house and demand that they “educate themselves on the inner-workings of the markets and global economics, by going to iBankCoin.com.” Failure to adhere to your demands should result in an immediate haymaker to his/her scrotum.

Because bonds are up, feel free to get drunk and buy stocks. Do so with reckless abandon. Kick your dogs and neighbors, then bury his cats in the yard while investing in Goldman Sachs.

Look at me, do I look scared? I am about to leverage myself to the hilt, frantically buying stocks that are ‘good’ because I’ve seen the future.

I’ve been to the future and it is joyous, splendid almost. The market is in its infancy of winship, spurred on by men with deep pockets and long arms.

If GS doesn’t hit $160 within 2 weeks, I will cut my penis off.

Ah, I can’t wait to book my profits and buy a Maserati, throw money into the fire pit for sport.

Until then, “The Fly” will be plugging away, watching the Risk Appetite Index, confident as a hungry lion inside of a room filled with newly wed gay guys.

There isn’t anything else to say but SHOMP. It never ceases to amaze me, the accuracy in which The PPT‘s oversold signal proves correct. Every time I see it, truth be told, I think “this time might be different.” Instead of going “all in” on the signal, I waited for confirmation. There’s no doubt, I will still bank coin–but I could’ve made more.

I made GS a 30% position and added to USG. I have less than 5% of cash left and will look to liquidate when “The Gimp” comes out.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, SHOMP stands for sublime harmony of mathematical precision, the true nature of The PPT algos.

UPDATE: I bought WETF.

I bought GS.

Monster position.

Fully invested.