Deutsche Bank Announces 3 Billion Euro Bond Buyback; Shares Surge More Than 10%

This just came out:

Deutsche Bank announces that it will buy back €3B of its Euro denominated debt, and $2B of its USD denominated debt

The bank said in a statement on Friday that it’s “strong liquidity position” allows it to repurchase these senior securities without any change to its 2016 funding plan. The euro tender offer is targeting 3 billion euros, while the dollar tender targets $2 billion.

The stock is on fire in Germany, up greater than 10%. Commerzbank is higher by 15%, Unicredit +8% and here in the states the XLF is higher by 2%, with gains in C, JPM and BAC.

Dennis Gartman got up with the roosters this morning to remind people how right he’s been on gold, in yen and euro terms (no one actually does that). He thinks the yellow metal might parlay into a dalliance with sellers–driving the price lower by a few dozen points or so–at which point he’d likely step back into the fray and ride it back up.

In addition, he believes the market is ‘more than required’ to go higher in the immediate term, in all forms of currency, even wampum.

Oh, he also had a few comments about oil, which I found to be of the gibberish varietal.

I know it’s a little pre mature, this being only 7am and all–but equities are looking like they have a rally in them today.

Dow futures are up 150, Europe is higher, gold and bonds are lower, and oil is higher.

With the Chinese market closed, there is nothing, other than the margin clerk, to set us back today.

Since Exodus closed oversold, I’ll be buying another tranche of SPY today, leaving me with zero cash. I will leverage my account to 200% long, if need be.

I fade the arch pessimism every single time.

Someone left a comment the other day, accusing me of being overly dramatic. He said the market was merely correcting, all very normal aspects of a bull market. Fucking moron. I will show you the type of normalcy this market has been exhibiting over the past 30 days, the type of stuff ordinary for a day in red hell.

(Stock, YTD returns, min mkt cap of $1 bill)

Basic Resources (median return -21.5%)
CHK -61%
ETE -58%
MPLX -56%
PAH -57%
ENLK -51%

Consumer Goods (median return -18%)
VC -47%
GPRO -43%
TSLA -37%
FCAU -34%
ST -34%

Financials (median return -16.9%)
NRF -47%
AEL -46%
FDC -46%
CS -41%
SC -40%

Healthcare (median return -21.5%)
ALKS -60%
RDUS -57%
PRTA -56%
RARE -52%
ACAD -50%

Industrial Goods (median return -16%)
ABGB -47%
TGI -40%
MOG’a -35%
ESL -35%
CSTR -32%

Services (median return -17.3%)
FRO -88%
HTZ -49%
LGF -42%
RH -40%
URI -40%

Technology (median return -21.1%)
SCTY -67%
DATA -57%
LNKD -54%
FIT -53%
MOMO -51%

Epic carnage.

He’s out shitting on Keynesian economics, conjuring up 5,000 years of history dating back to Babylon, to point to the errors of the negative interest rate policies.

He cites One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest as an analogy to describe the current market, where the doctors are insane and the inmates are normal.

Recession is already here.

HOWEVER, before the world ends, Faber is expecting a spring rally–due to the oversold nature of the market. He’d sell on strength and wait for a pop to initiate new short sales.

All very funny.

This makes the most sense to me. Saudi Arabia is crushing the borscht out of the Russian oligarchs and the black souls of Obama’s friends in Iran.

Fadel Gheit doesn’t believe in the OPEC cut rumor. This is all about Saudi Arabia and Russia, trying to maintain market share.

WTI is trading at $27.49.

It’s off by another 5% today, extending the recent foray into oversold territory by 21% for 2016–so far.

Crude oil, however, is higher by 5.5% (contracts rolled?) on some bullshit story that the hedonistic clowns at OPEC will cut supply. They’re simply too lazy to file the paperwork to care that much.

The Yen is stable vs the dollar, so that’s good news.

Globally, bonds are selling off, which is good for risk assets. Portuguese-German spreads have narrowed to 374 bps.

Gold is down 0.8%.

And, finally, Dow futures are higher by 35 and DAX futures are higher by more than 1.5%.

In summary, Japan is getting rocked tonight because their markets were closed last night. Other than that, there’s been a cessation of selling and it appears the risk aspects of the market are in play.

NOTE: Tomorrow is the last day I’ll accept free trials for Exodus. Give it a try and enjoy it with my compliments.

Instead of going giraffe buckwild crazy on the Fed, like he did in his classic rendition back in 2007, Cramer took a more tactful approach this evening–telling the Yellen Fed that they, in fact, inexorably, know nothing at all.

His point: the Fed should not simply look at employment data as a reason to hike rates. It’s very 1970s. They need to take a step back and take a panoramic view of the destruction they’ve caused.

Tick, tock goes the Cramer explosion clock.

Bob McTeer, former governor of the Dallas Fed, was on CNBC today throwing shade at Yellen. He said the Fed was to blame for global rout, blaming it on ‘bad luck’ and timing. Also, he said the Fed could not go negative because of the mechanisms in place.

Bob McTeer is utterly useless.

This man is a straight up villain. He’s moved on from AIDS drug price gouging to attempting to monopolize the release of rap music. Next thing you know, he’s buying all of the music and we’ll have nothing left to listen to on the radio, aside from old school jams.

Bernie Sanders would not be happy about this sort of “rich man” horseshit that Marty is trying to pull off.